good things really do happen when you adopt the "why not?" attitude to almost everything, like even the smallest opportunity that presents itself to you. i think especially if you are very critical of yourself and insecure, carry a lot of self-doubt learning how to be quicker with your actions rather than your thoughts is it, you know healthy impulsivity or something. i don't want to be like oh just start doing things, it's so easy bc it obviously isn't, but sometimes we're being too careful with all that am i deserving of this shit. like did you not hear what marina said? get what i want cause i ask for it not because i'm really that deserving of it. lesson done. ancient greece had socrates you all have me.