cupofem

[cupofem]

-

Upon drinking my coffee this morning I found myself pondering on the subject of “love” and how vast of a word it is. This being my first post on here, keeping it simple and sticking to something most people can relate to seems like the right thing to write about. Being a young girl in this society is extremely hard to live in because of the constant pressure put on us. And I’m not excluding men because i think that there is a real problem there as well. The culture of our age has become one of insecurity where it enables kids to not be secure in themselves because of comparison, and not having enough role models pushing self love. Our generation has become this relationship crazy/hormone driven place where all anyone cares about is getting into a relationship - trying to gain approval from the significant other that ultimately ends in disappointment and broken hearts.  This isn’t me being pessimistic or negative, it’s me making a point that seeking approval from someone else will always result is disappointment because it’s ridiculously unattainable. I know that so many people use this cliché saying “you have to love yourself before loving anyone else” but it’s so over used that people have forgotten the importance of it in our lives. You deal with yourself every second of every day. All of your faults are with you and you are ultimately in control of yourself and the actions you take every day of your life. I get it. It’s incredibly difficult to love yourself. But just because it’s difficult doesn’t make it okay to jump into a relationship anyway and throw caution to the wind. Getting into a relationship prematurely can have disastrous effects. What I’ve come to realize is how impossible it is to love someone while not being able to love yourself. How do you expect to love someone’s faults when you can’t accept your own? How can you be secure in knowing that someone loves you when you are constantly having self doubt? Knowing your worth is one of the most important things to have in a relationship because insecurity is crippling in a relationship. To have to walk on eggshells because you’re so insecure about the things you do is ridiculous and something I’ve dealt with a lot. In my past I had a group of friends that I thought I loved dearly and yet I became problematic and needy because I was so insecure about what they thought about me. Not being able to accept myself caused me to feel unwanted in my friend group and feel like they didn’t care about me. And that’s only a friendship. Being in a relationship where you have a tighter, closer connection with someone, you need to be secure with yourself, otherwise the relationship will turn toxic extremely quick. Yes, it is a hard thing to do - to love yourself. But the end result is so worth it that you won’t even know why you ever doubted yourself. Working on self love is one of the most rewarding processes you can go through in life and is such an important quality to have when trying to be in any kind of relationship (friends, family, significant other). And going back to outward appearance and comparison, we seriously need to kill comparison. It’s the route of most insecurity and it’s a ridiculous concept. We were all made completely different and to think that because you don’t have something that someone else has makes you less of a person is RI-DI-CU-LOUS. Someone is going to love you for everything that you have and don’t have. Also, putting so much value in appearance and your personality is such an exhausting and pointless pursuit. The things you could be doing instead of sulking over these things are endless and you’re wasting your time. And when I say personality, I don’t mean to not care about being a good person because that’s incredibly important. What I’m saying is comparing your personality to someone else’s and saying “she’s so much funnier than I am” is just pointless. You have your good and bad just like everyone else. So, I’m pretty bad at ending things but I’ll try to end this on a positive note. I implore you to choose one thing about yourself today and decide to love it with your whole heart. Try doing this every day, building up and adding more every day. Put it on a post it note and stick it to a wall in your room if you need to. Loving yourself is one of the greatest loves you will every encounter and it’s extremely gratifying. Thanks for reading my first post although I doubt anyone is reading this because I literally have zero followers but whatever. LUV U BYE.