crying-salmon

[crying-salmon]

hey hey HEY. when i joined tumblr in the early 2010s i remember a lot of millennials swearing they would never treat the younger generation as badly as they were treated and misrepresented. i'm seeing a lot of you going back on that. stop mocking young people and start remembering you were new to the universe too once

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one must imagine Sisyphus really rooting for the forces of entropy

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computers should go in heat and when you play with the mouse clit they spark and overheat a little

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[crying-salmon]

I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

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the girls...

[crying-salmon]

"Because of the geomagnetically induced current from the electromagnetic field, telegraph systems all over Europe and North America failed, in some cases giving their operators electric shocks. Telegraph pylons threw sparks. Some operators were able to continue to send and receive messages despite having disconnected their power supplies. The following conversation occurred between two operators of the American telegraph line between Boston, Massachusetts, and Portland, Maine, on the night of 2 September 1859 and reported in the Boston Evening Traveler:

Boston operator (to Portland operator): "Please cut off your battery [power source] entirely for fifteen minutes." Portland operator: "Will do so. It is now disconnected." Boston: "Mine is disconnected, and we are working with the auroral current. How do you receive my writing?" Portland: "Better than with our batteries on. – Current comes and goes gradually." Boston: "My current is very strong at times, and we can work better without the batteries, as the aurora seems to neutralize and augment our batteries alternately, making current too strong at times for our relay magnets. Suppose we work without batteries while we are affected by this trouble." Portland: "Very well. Shall I go ahead with business?" Boston: "Yes. Go ahead."

The conversation was carried on for around two hours using no battery power at all and working solely with the current induced by the aurora, the first time on record that more than a word or two was transmitted in such manner.

the Wired article is a good article on that specific event, but also sometimes, humanity, you're great. "if we turn the batteries off it works fine. well fuck it. why not"

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bees?

[crying-salmon]

Source

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Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

Me: I am going to eat you

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lol i hate today’s era of absolutely zero nuance takes. a friend didn’t behave exactly as you’d wanted them to? cut them off. a guy didn’t text you back instantly bc he has his own life? he’s just giving you breadcrumbs. doing something makes you uncomfortable? don’t do it anymore. someone isn’t instantly available for you? disinterest. just absolutist statements that often don’t apply to the multilayer situations of everyday life. like. stop. literally just stop it

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Hey shout out to every custodial/sanitation worker taking out and cleaning up literal hot garbage so that the rest of us can go about our summer days like it doesn’t exist

[crying-salmon]

Some computer related jobs will periodically send you emails posing as phishing scams and if you open it you automatically have to take a web safety training seminar and I just think they should do that for tumblr except with reading comprehension

[crying-salmon]

A professor gave us an extra credit option: take a picture of yourself outside, doing something that you would not usually do. We were told not to take it too seriously. Here is my entry:

I maintain that sticking my head in the mailbox is not something I do on a regular basis.

[crying-salmon]

getting surgery to give me a second head so i can tell twice as many lies as usual

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shhhhh guys be quiet we need to be quiet or else the bears will hear us. as long as we all keep quiet (everyone liking this post) we will be fine just don't do anything to alert the bears okay?