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crucifixionwouldfixme · 4 months

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craigslist > personals > missed connections

blonde at ------ bar

It was Wednesday last week and you were standing at the bar. You ordered one of those girly complicated cocktails and we made eye contact across the room. I was wearing a blue shirt with a bird pattern on it and I had a cut on my face from shaving. You smiled at me but you left before I could talk to you. Contact at: XXX-XXX-XXXX

Dog walker outside office building - m4w - Downtown

You were walking a bunch of dogs past an office building by the big fountain downtown. I think you had a poodle and a doberman in there. You had red hair and an eyebrow piercing and the most gorgeous face and you looked like you hated those dogs. You called one of the little yorkies a cunt when it tripped you up on its leash. I helped you back up and caught a runaway dachshund for you. I think we had a moment. If you read this, I work on the 4th floor of that office building and if you stop by I’ll take you out to dinner.

Conversation at ------ train station - w4m - last May

I left my wallet at home and I had to get to a conference for work and I was panicking. You heard my conversation with the ticket booth attendant and came over to pay for my ticket. We were going opposite directions and my train was leaving in two minutes and I didn’t have time to get your phone number. You had brown hair and you said, “Oh, it’s nothing,” like it was the simplest thing in the world to stop and help a total stranger for nothing in return. I should have gotten on your train with you. The conference was terrible. You had a picture of a woman in your wallet. It’s stupid. Nothing would have happened, anyway. You were just stopping to help some panicked girl and you paid for my ticket like it was easy and you waved and walked away like it was easy too. The woman in your wallet wasn’t that pretty. She was standing on a beach (it looked cloudy and cold) and the wind blew her hair everywhere and she was in an old, worn-out sweatshirt. I think about it sometimes. I wonder if you would have thought I was prettier than her. You weren’t that pretty either but nobody else has really actually smiled at me in so long and I hear you saying, “Oh, it’s nothing,” when I lay down at night in my bed alone. I look for you every time I’m at the station. The woman in your wallet wasn’t that pretty but it was a candid picture and she was smiling and the edges of the photo were worn and if you’re keeping a picture like that then you probably think she’s beautiful anyways. You probably tell her that she’s beautiful like it’s the easiest thing in the world and it probably is, for you. I don’t really remember your face anymore but I can picture hers clear as day. I know it’s only that I wish someone would call me beautiful at all but I daydream about it being you anyway.

wrong place, wrong time - NY, NY

We lived together for two years in this tiny little apartment in New York and we had a dog together but I don’t think I ever actually knew you. When we broke up it was mutual and neither of us cried. We were twenty and neither of us really knew what it meant to be with someone. We both liked sushi and documentaries and books that ended sad. I should have waited longer to start dating after that bad breakup and you should have been in therapy over your mom leaving when you were little. I think we could have really been something if either of us knew how to let each other in. Meet me for the first time again at a different point in our lives.

audrey from second grade - w4w

We were childhood friends and we only stopped talking because you moved away. When I found you on social media I thought you would be excited to reconnect too—when I said we should meet up, you said “yeah, sure” and you haven’t responded to my message asking “when would be a good time for you?” or “are you free this tuesday? i’m in your city this week” or “i’m leaving on sunday, if you still wanna see each other”. Your favorite color was lavender when we were seven. You used to eat the cookies from my Oreos cause I only liked the creme. Responders can contact me through the number for your family’s old landline (I still know it).

one bedroom apartment in paris with matching antique handles on all the cabinets and drawers - serious inquiries only

We were in love and we talked about having kids together and we had a few things we disagreed about in our parenting techniques but I figured that we’d figure it out. I thought you’d probably have an easier time showing our kid that you loved them than you did showing me. We talked about moving to Paris and living above a bakery and me teaching while you became a doctor. You talked about taking me to your work parties so that we could dress up nice and drink champagne and make fun of the stuck-up science people you were going to work with. You always had a mean streak but I thought it was good for me to learn to be less sensitive. We had a thousand dreams and grand plans and romantic images of a life together. You got bored of me, or got sick of me; you stopped telling me you loved me and you started getting tense with me and we stopped seeing each other as often. If it was my fault, I don’t know what I did. I pulled away because it seemed like you didn’t want me around very much anymore and you barely seemed to notice. I had thought we were going to spend our lives together. If you had asked me to marry you I would have said yes. I tell myself that if you wanted me around you would have tried to keep me there. I tell myself that it’s not worth putting in the effort if I’m not worth it to you. Being with you would be a lot of work and hurt for me and I don’t think you’d ever really love me as much as I loved you. If you can tell me what I did wrong and I can fix it, I can be reached at: [email protected].

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