crookednachogalaxy - Tumblr blog

crookednachogalaxy · 5 months

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op i love this to bits

Bowuigi Corpse Bride AU Lore Post

So I said I would probably make this and while I thought about making this into a fanfic and making ya'll read that, I decided that I need to commit to the other three (two and a half?) Mario fanfic ideas I have. So if anyone wants to make a full blown fic or whatever with this AU, feel free (but tag me ofc because I've got to see it).

(This will not be short, just a quick warning that this is a commitment).

This AU is very loosely based off the actual movie. Instead of them being in the underworld, they're just in a haunted house that Boo lost to Bowser in a game of poker, and instead of being a corpse (as the name suggests), Luigi is just a slightly annoying boo. Him and Polterpup are the only ones that inhabit the mansion, and, with the house completely abandoned, it's probably going to stay that way.

In this world, ghosts only stay after some massive traumatic death. Problem is, Luigi has no recollection of how he died, he just knows he hit his head and a little while later awoke, a ghost that's unable to be seen, heard, and is completely alone as a newly-deceased. Aside from the yipping ghost dog at his feet (Luigi has always been afraid of both ghosts and dogs).

As a ghost, Luigi originally spawns (spawns?) into this world with little ghostly abilities. Living beings can't see or hear him and he doesn't have the power to manipulate objects or people in any way. He is essentially a specter, watching the lives of other people for years until, eventually, it's abandoned, and the Peasley family mansion (one of many, that is) is gambled away to King Boo.

But, King Boos already got his own slew of creepy haunted mansions, and, frankly, this one is haunted by a ghost he can't stand. A ghost that hasn't been able to speak to someone for around a decade. A chatty ghost that hasn't been able to speak to someone for over a decade. He's not exactly torn up about parting with it.

Bowser, the poor thing, is on attempt...

Attempt... 2 hundred... something.

(at least 4 proposals a year, for around 20 years... that's...)

Let's just say, Peach does and has not wanted Bowser for a long ass time, and it really doesn't help his self esteem that he's still being thwarted by a plumber that's old enough to be his dad and uses a cane. He really can't understand what Peach sees in him, especially considering she still looks like a youthful 20/30-something into her 60s. Frankly, it's unfair. He's got money, kids (some really awesome ones too), power, looks (he thinks so at least), and isn't 3 pudding cups away from dementia.

What he hasn't got, until right now at least, is an awesome mansion, specially built for human(oid) creatures. Maybe she just didn't like gothic castle architecture? Maybe, as Boo suggests, he just has to get her scared enough to fall into his arms for safety. He's got this all planned out.

Boo did not specify that the "ghostly inhabitants" of this mansion were a hyperactive ghost dog and naive plumber. He didn't think it was important information at the time.

So, when Bowser is plotting and practice-proposes (does he really need more practice?) to the striking blue eyes of a, surprisingly, human painting, the last thing he expects is to be met with a ghoulish grin.

Barely ghoulish, because, god, the thing is bright. The smile and the bio-(bio?)-luminescent energy it's attached to. For a ghost who's wearing bloodied bandages and has been dead for 30 lonely years, he's surprisingly optimistic.

"Really?! And you're not even a boo!" :D

He's very optimistic, in fact, because he's willing to believe that this complete stranger might just be his ticket out of this wall-papered purgatory. He died meeting up with his forbidden love, after all, so it must be a sign. He does not hesitate to shove that ring on his finger, even if his new fiance looks hesitant (he might be naive enough to go with it, but he's not blind). He's convinced the two will make it work.

Luigi is... very tired of looking at the same things everyday. Now, he can attach to his new fiance, who's only slightly hesitant to engage with him, (and is not bad looking at all, in Luigi's opinion). Together, the two can actually have a life together. Luigi was only 25 when he died, and he was far too shy then to do any adventuring. The most rebellious thing the man had ever done was sneak out.

Man, look where that ended him.

For Luigi, this is his opportunity to live the life he wasted was robbed of.

And the guys got kids! How awesome is that?

Bowser is not liking the new pets at his side. One never stops yipping and yapping and one is a dog. Luigi is... fine. From a distance. The problem is that they physically can't get any. As long as Luigi is attached to him, consider them hand cuffed. This stupid, green boo is crimping his style, and any game he had with Peach is virtually ruined when he's got his "fiance" clinging to his side like he's the best thing since breathing air.

At least Luigi appreciates his kids. The ghost obviously has some taste (of course he does, he chose him for pete's sake), and Junior and the rest seem to like the ghoul enough... Even if Junior isn't completely sure that Luigi is a ghoul. Both Luigi and Junior agree that boos are scary.

Maybe, after some hard self-reflection (with Luigi close and present, of course), and some growing emotional intimacy and openness, Bowser begins to kind of, perhaps tolerate Luigi. Just a little. Just enough to find his stupid quirks endearing and just enough to start to think that maybe he's always been too good for Peach, anyway. Maybe he should be with someone who appreciates him and loves his family. It's not like her and Mario had ever had kids in their relationship, and her not wanting kids is kind of a deal breaker.

Bowser's newfound attention on Luigi is driving everyone else nuts, though. Boos barely seen the man since his unfortunate run in with the green leach and no one else at their poker table is any good. At this rate, Boos not even satisfied winning Peasley's riches off him anymore. Occasionally, a guy just wants to lose, y'know? Boo hates only one thing more than Peasley whining about the consequences of his gambling addiction, and that's boredom. He misses when the Koopa King spent all his time plotting against the old-ass plumber. At least then he showed his face at their meetings.

And when Boo finally brings up his grievances, because he deserves to rant, Peasley seems... nervous. Boo loves nervousness.

"There's a... human boo... in the mansion I gave you..?"

"One, you didn't give it to me, you lost, fair and square. Two, yeah, and he's just about the chattiest thing I've ever met. All dressed up in a white suit, the pretentious-"

At that, Peasley turns about as pale as a ghost. Well, if that were possible, considering he's a legume. Suddenly, he's got some important things he has to do somewhere else.

This poker table is looking weak.

When Peasley asks Bowser to meet at the mansion, Bowser warns he can't come alone. It's a stretch to get the green ghost to go back with him, and as much as Bowser wants to tell him "you're coming with me, whether you like it or not", he can't bring himself to say it. Instead, he convinces Luigi that it's a quick stay. Essentially, a welfare visit on the old house and a quick meeting with an old friend. Luigi's narrowly convinced.

Stepping back onto that porch brings back a lot of old memories for the human. Few of them anything good in retrospect.

But he does want to see his painting again. He always did cherish that painting. He's sure Bowser will too, right?

Is that painting a good memory for Bowser? He wonders.

It was all those years ago that a young Peasley gifted him that painting. Like him, he had been optimistic and in love. Even if his rich, snobby parents weren't a fan of the human, they had an entire life ahead of them. Peasley had made him a beautiful painting. It was the one part of the house Luigi felt was his. A good memory.

He never expected to be greeted by the same image he had all those years ago. Peasley, now older, stood in front of the painting. His face now wasn't proud or love-struck or whatever expression he had had then (Luigi can barely remember Peasley's face until just now), he looked somber. It was a rare occasion that Luigi wasn't green, and his teal glow seemed to throw Bowser off.

And divert Peasley's attention away from the miserable painting and over to the ghost, who was nervously twiddling his thumbs with a sympathetic look in his eyes.

It's not long before Bowser realizes that this meeting was never about him, and he feels more awkward than anything else...

Except that Polterpup has been on edge since the moment he saw the bean (now) king. Has he ever seen the dog not wag it's tail at someone?

Immediately, the older man apologizes. Things were never meant to end up how they did. He tried his best to help when he could.

Luigi's not angry, how could he be? Luigi's fall was an accident.

Peasley says he didn't know Luigi had stuck around, and if he had, he thinks he would have done things differently. He would have at least had the place cleaned instead of just letting it rot.

(So Peasley abandon the mansion? The perfectly good mansion for no reason, leaving Luigi alone.)

And, of course, Peasley's sorry for not telling Mario or his parents about what happened to him.

(HUH?)

He insisted that he waited for hours with Luigi, hoping he'd recover with enough gauze. The man told him it was a lost cause. If he could have saved him, he would have.

Hours?

"I was unconscious for hours?"

It came out as barely a whisper.

"I stayed almost the entire night. As long as I could."

Bowser didn't know boos could turn so many colors, especially that quickly. Bowser didn't think Luigi even had it in him to be anything less than smiley, especially completely enraged.

Luigi had never been more angry in his life (death).

Even Peasley's insistence that "You don't understand what they'd have done to me if they'd known I went against their wishes!" fell on deaf ears.

When Luigi's aura finally finished raving, Peasley had backed away from the now red ghost. Again, Luigi recognized the position they were in;

One of them backing up, away from the painting and towards the basement stairs. How could Peasley forget that door never closed all the way? It had only been the exact thing that killed Luigi 30 years ago. The exact thing that, of course, Peasley hadn't fixed.

Luigi swears he didn't push him, even in that state. Bowser believes him, only because the still angry and unaware Luigi yelled angrily down the stairs: "You better not die here, because I'll make your death hell!"

If they both hadn't just watched Peasley fucking die, Bowser would have kinda been into it.

It took Luigi a second to realize that even if his own fall had been an unlucky hit, Peasley wasn't 25 anymore. And he wasn't responding. His red hue didn't last long, especially when Polterpup no longer seems threatened (and Bowser notices that the bean king no longer seems to be breathing).

"What did I do?"

Bowser suggests fleeing the crime scene, which normally isn't his move, but he'd rather not be tied to the murder of a fellow royal. Luigi shakes his head.

This is his fault. And as angry as he still is at Peasley, he can't flee what he's done. Not in a right conscience. Not like what Peasley did to him. Luigi suffered enough sitting in that mansion alone for 30 years, and, as much as revenge tastes sweet, a small part of him still cares. Had he lived, Peasley and him would have had a life after all.

But he hadn't lived, did he.

Bowser can't remember a time ever seeing Luigi's color look quite as dull as it did then.

Playing with his engagement ring, Luigi thinks back on the part of the man he loved. Peasley never did buy him the ring, like he had hoped. Luigi remembers getting himself all excited over the possibility of a scenic proposal as they walked through the flower garden of the mansion. He had gifted him a painting. Which was almost as good.

He couldn't even count how many times he had stood and looked at that painting, thinking:

Was it worth it?

An apprehensive smile comes onto his face. A nostalgic smile. A somber one.

Doesn't really matter, does it? He'd never know if it was worth it in the end. This was how it ended up. Luigi had always believed that fate is what had brought him and Peasley together, considering everything else had lined them up for failure. Fate was what brought him here. What kept him here.

Who is he to drag down others?

He returns Bowser's ring.

"I'm sorry."

Bowser never deserved to have him weigh him down.

"I wasted my life chasing after a family I never got, and then spent my death doing the exact same thing."

Bowser awkwardly matches Luigi's bitter laugh.

"I lived my life, be it a short one, but you deserve to live yours."

Luigi pats the ring on his hand.

"I hope she likes it." He smiles. He means it. Peach sounds wonderful.

Tears prick Bowser's eyes, and all because...

He never did tell Luigi about him and Peach, did he? He can't help but laugh. Tears streaming down his face kinda laugh. The laugh you only get once a year kind of laugh.

"You spent, what? Maybe five non-consecutive years chasing after a family? Try twenty!"

Luigi's eyebrow goes up. This is supposed to be a super emotional goodbye and this goobers laughing? On about his conquest to marry Peach (who, apparently, is already married) and make his picturesque life. Luigi can't help but laugh, because it's so stupid that Bowser's laughing about this right now.

"Her and her stupid, human, mustachioed husband Mario have been kicking my ass for decades. I promise you, boo, you weren't ever getting in the way of anything."

Mario?!

"Mario?" (!)

"You heard of him?"

The excitement in Luigi's eyes (and aura) is obvious.

"My brother's name is Mario!"

With a look of determination, Bowser promises he'll tell Luigi the story of all his and Mario's exploits if he does him two favors.

Leaves this, frankly, ugly and decrepit mansion with him. Because this story needs atmosphere.

Puts the ring back on his finger. Because how else is everybody going to know they're engaged?

Luigi gives a grin.

He looks down the stairs. What about doing his due-diligence?

"I promise you, boo, if fate brought you and Peasley together, and pushed you down those stairs, and brought us together, and then pushed him down the stairs, fate is on your side."

Luigi's lips are still pursed.

"And it's almost sunrise," Bowser points out.

"So?"

"Well, we've waited almost all night, seems like a fair amount of time to me. It's obviously a lost cause."

At that, Luigi begins laughing. Not quite Bowser's guttural, teary laugh, but certainly a cackle. Enough to turn his aura back to a vibrant green, just like before. Enough to make him hunch over and take some (not really) much needed gulps of air.

When the laughing dies down to a hurt giggle, Bowser assures him that:

"You didn't kill him, Weeg."

No. I guess he didn't, did he?

Looking down the stairs one last time, (his death completely bloodless, the lucky bastard), Luigi's brows furrow for a second and he twiddles his thumbs.

If Luigi's learned one thing from being a condemned ghost, it's that you should take every chance you get.

The bottom of the stairs don't look so intimidating now.

"I...

I forgive you."

Maybe that is all Peasley deserves.

Luigi deserves to have another chance. And maybe Peasley does too, maybe he'll find one in the next lucky winner of poker. Someones gotta replace his spot at the table.

Bowser shares that he certainly deserves a mother to his children, and he's already got a quality candidate who's proved he's got what it takes. ("One who cooks, cleans, can't call in sick, die, and is pretty good looking! I hit the jackpot!")

Maybe, at the very least, Luigi deserves to see his brother one last time.

And maybe a few more times after that, for good measure.

Anyways so the original plan was just to have either Luigi and Bowser straight up immediately abandon the crime scene (not really crime scene) or have Luigi sit in the mansion forever and live out a miserable existence.

But I couldn't do that to my boys now could I. (But Peasley still gets abandoned because screw Peasley I hate that little bean man /j).

This wasn't meant to turn out in the format it did but, y'know, it did. Just know this isn't brief but also isn't comprehensive. I might (big emphasis on might) make a shorter headcanon post on this, but we'll see.

I hope you enjoyed. And sorry for the length, I am not known and will never be known for being concise.

#bowuigi #corpse bride au

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crookednachogalaxy · 8 months

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i want to read this so bad op

okay SO, childhood friends idea inspired by a suggestion from @hyperfixatingonbowuigisohard and the Yoshi's Island games. I still don't have a story exactly but I do have a lot of Thoughts.

Mario and Luigi are around three or four years old, old enough to talk but not to really articulate what's happening or how they're feeling. It's during a time when the parents think grandma is watching them and grandma thinks the parents decided to take them after all, and when they get home everything seems fine so the adults don't bother to compare notes. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Bowser is a couple years older, and small kids develop so fast that most wouldn't want to play with one much younger ("that's a baby!!!") but he's so desperate for a friend even close to his own age that he jumps at the change to spend time with this strange child that stumbled into his castle.

But... little Bowser has been so spoiled by Kamek and the other servants raising him that he has no idea how to play nicely. Luigi is terrified of him at first and starts bawling the moment Bowser "orders" him to play. For the first time in his short life, Bowser has a problem that can't be solved by yelling, crying, OR throwing things. He has to control his temper and learn to - what's it called again? - share.

Despite that the week that little Luigi spends with him is the happiest Bowser has ever been, and even that short amount of time has such an impact on his personality that he almost seems like a different person by the end. He accidentally bumps into Kamek and says "sorry" without being prompted and Kamek is so shocked he has to have a lie-down.

But at the end of that week, little Mario suddenly shows up with a pack of yoshis who seem to know where the boys belong, and Kamek knows it's not right to just keep a lost child. He also knows that there's no way Bowser is going to agree to let his first-ever friend go away and maybe never see him again, so Kamek smuggles Luigi out while Bowser is asleep and tells him his family came to get him. It's technically true.

Bowser is devastated. He screams, cries, throws things, and finally begs, but there's nothing anyone can do, Luigi is already gone. He's miserable for months, but eventually the sadness turns into anger. If his friend wanted to come back, why doesn't he?

Time passes. The memories fade. He's left with equal parts fascination by and resentment of humans, and the subconscious belief that if you give the people you love any chance to leave you, they will.

Meanwhile Mario and Luigi have gone home, and both of them are suddenly talking a lot about dinosaurs. That's not unusual, kids love dinosaurs, the parents figure they saw a cool book or movie with one of their cousins. But while Mario seems to think of dinosaurs as big animals that you run around with, Luigi keeps asking when he can go see "the dinosaur" again. He gets upset when his parents don't know what he means, but he keeps asking, again and again, for months. Every time they think he forgot he asks again, and no movie or museum visit or plush toy seems to be the answer.

He draws a lot of spiky green balls in this time. Eventually the parents decide that "the dinosaur" must be his imaginary friend and try to play along. It doesn't work, Luigi is still upset, but he's young and eventually he really does forget.

Years later family members will still sometimes bring up "Luigi's imaginary friend the dinosaur" as a cute anecdote. It's a little embarrassing, but he doesn't mind it too much.

And then it's twenty-plus years later and Mario and Luigi find themselves in a world that's full of adventure and magic and - yes - dinosaurs. There's a feeling of déjà vu but there are bigger things to worry about at the moment, and neither of them have any real reason to think they've been to this world before.

The first meeting doesn't go well. Bowser kidnaps Peach, the bros come to her rescue, and it ends in a big fight. Bowser does have a moment's pause when he first sees the bros, but Mario takes that opportunity to attack him and it's downhill from there.

There are several more clashes as time goes on. Sometimes it's just Mario, sometimes it's both of them, but after enough meetings people start to notice... Bowser controls his temper better around Luigi.

At first Mario thought it was just because Bowser hates him specifically, but no, other people have noticed it too. For some reason when Luigi is there Bowser is actually capable of showing restraint. Not even Peach brings that out of him. It's weird.

(Mario does wonder if Bowser kind of has a thing for his brother, but he can't bring himself to say it out loud.)

Luigi isn't scared of Bowser either, not the way he probably should be, given the whole giant monster/serial kidnapper thing. It's too awkward to ask Bowser why he's different around Luigi, but Mario asks Luigi why he's not afraid, and Luigi can't put his finger on it. He just Knows that Bowser is more bark than bite. He's not sure why.

So that's where things stand; Bowser and Luigi are both more comfortable with each other than anything about their personalities or situation seems to justify, and nobody knows why.

...Except Kamek who, as the only adult in the situation, figures out who the bros are almost immediately and promptly decides to Keep His Damn Mouth Shut. That reveal is not going to lead to good things for him.

#bowuigi #childhood friends au #childhood friends #its so cute omg

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crookednachogalaxy · 8 months

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Kart Racing bowuigi time, inspired by that infamous Luigi death glare

SO, Luigi takes racing very seriously, much more than most of the other pastimes he and his brother get involved with. Maybe because it's something he knows he's good at, maybe because he likes machines, maybe, somehow, going fast gets his blood pumping in a way that's not fear-based for once. It doesn't really come to much since everybody else mostly races for fun, but whenever Bowser starts trash-talking Luigi can't help but talk back.

Bowser doesn't mind, in fact it gets him even more fired up, and pretty soon the two of them have become rivals in this one very specific area. Once Mario is sure it's just trash-talking and Bowser doesn't mean Luigi any harm, he's even sort of supportive of it. Rivalry is almost like friendship and Bowser could use more of those.

Then Luigi shows up on race day with an injured arm. Bowser is furious. The injury won't keep Luigi from racing, but it'll definitely slow down his reaction time. How's Bowser supposed to gloat about his victory when Luigi's at a disadvantage? Who does he need to hurt in retaliation for this insult to his abilities?

Luigi is having none of this and replies that he could beat Bowser without using his injured arm at all. Bowser says fine! Prove it! Letting it rest will help you heal faster anyway!

(wait a minute)

Bowser does beat Luigi's time that race, but just like he thought gloating isn't any fun at all. Time passes, another race is comes up (maybe it's a tournament? I don't know how actual car racing structure works) and this time Bowser corners Luigi in an empty room to make sure Luigi is fighting fit.

There's trash talk, there's arguing, there's threats, and then they're looking at each other with their hearts pounding and blood pumping and suddenly all that passion turns into a kiss.

Making out, really. They only break apart when they both need to breathe, and even then Luigi can't remember why this is a bad idea. Bowser thinks it's the best idea he's had in years and suggests meeting up after his victory so he can show Luigi a new way to get pounded.

"First of all, who says it's new to me? And second, who says you're going to win?"

After some more back-and-forth, Luigi says, "Wanna bet?" Bowser says hell yeah he does, and they agree that whoever gets the better time gets to top.

It takes a while before what he's doing sinks in. Luigi never really thought of himself as someone who would treat sex like a game. The fact that it's Bowser he's playing with is a whole other level. But... is it really so bad, as long as they both want it? Just an agreement between two single adults. It doesn't have to be weird.

It's weird. But it's good, too.

After that the bet is on every time they race. From the outside it looks like Luigi and Bowser's rivalry has cooled a little bit. There's less trash talk, though it's no less pointed. A lot seems to be communicated between the two of them with just a glance and a gesture. If they hadn't already been seeking each other out every time it would almost be suspicious.

It's gone on for long enough that Luigi and Bowser have started getting more... creative when it comes to their bets, when something goes wrong. The track was pretty far from most of their homes, so the gang decided to stay overnight before and after the actual race.

And Mario catches Luigi sneaking back into his hotel room in the wee hours of the morning, with a very suspicious limp.

Luigi tries to brush it off, but there's a smug grin on Bowser's face when they're heading out, and he makes a joke being on Luigi's tail, and all of a sudden Luigi has to hold Mario back from throwing hands right then and there.

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crookednachogalaxy · 8 months

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menace mario is the mushroom kingdom's national treasure and i will not hear otherwise

Today in "Mario is a supportive brother but boy is he going to annoy Bowser for all it's worth" :

Luigi in the early stages of his relationship with Bowser worries about how the Koopalings and minions are going to treat him...what if they don't accept him and Bowser chooses them over Luigi ? It would make sense because Luigi isn't worth peanuts obviously (Mario smacks him on the head with a disagreeing hum at that point) but still, how is it going to work ? What if they find him too stupid and lame for their awesome king ?

Mario ponders on it, then gently pats Luigi's shoulder before trotting off.

Five hours later Bowser shows up at the Mario's home :

"Your brother kicked me out !!"

"...What."

"He showed up, kicked me outta my castle and took over my kingdom ?? I think ?? And he locked up all warp pipes so I can't even go home !!"

"Wh-what-he-wait, WHAT?"

Cue an epic adventure involving fixing the warp pipes and leading them both back to the Darklands where as soon as Luigi shows up, everyone cheers at his sight.

"It was true ! He brought back his Majesty !!"

Turns out Mario was so discreet when he kicked Bowser out of the Darklands that no one noticed for a while. Then he proceeded to cause trouble all over the kingdom under a disguise while everyone was confused and worried by the king's disappearance. When Peach was contacted by Kamek, she played along (at Mario's request) and pretended Luigi knew where Bowser was (technically not a lie) and would do anything to bring him home (also not a lie) because he knew how much Bowser cared about his subjects (not a lie as well).

Now the Darklands are grateful that Luigi saved their king and thanks to some interesting rumors (Mario whistles innocently when Luigi grills him about it later), everyone thinks it involved an epic battle against a powerful spirit who had trapped Bowser (what ? If it happened with Mario before, why not with Bowser?). Clearly Bowser knows how to pick them !

Mario is waiting innocently at their cottage and when Luigi shows up several days later, Mario grins and waves at him...until Luigi dumps an entire bucket of water on him because while he's grateful, really, bro???

#bowuigi #miscellaneous mario madness #menace mario #i am loving the mischief

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crookednachogalaxy · 9 months

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More about that plotbunny of Bowser hiring Luigi as a dealer for one of his casinos.

(Disclaimer: lots and lots of artistic liberties about how casinos and card games work, this is Mario world after all)

At first, Bowser doesn't want to hire Luigi. At. ALL. If it was just up to him, he would just punt the nerd back to Mushroom Kingdom.

But as Kamek points out, not only did he give his word, but if he fires someone just for being good for the job they're applying for, what kind of message is it sending ? If there is one reason Bowser's kingdom is running smoothly despite the regular beatings the kings gets from a pair of silly plumbers, it's the good work relationship between Bowser and his troops : he's a demanding boss, but not an unfair one.

Plus, it's bad enough he fails regularly his world invasions, but hey, world conquest is a hard job, so that's forgivable. But being a sore loser at a card games ?? That's not a good look for Bowser.

So fine. Green Mario is hired in a big show of pretending to acknowledge his enemy's skills. At least Bowser will be able to pretend he's bossing around the actual Mario for a while.

Doesn't mean he can't get his revenge otherwise.

Yes, he can't fire Luigi...but if Luigi is too weak to hold under pressure and quit, that's not on Bowser, is it ?

So Bowser nonchalantly orders the casino manager to make sure the new hire knows what he's in for. Or in other words, push him so hard he quits on his own.

At first Luigi is just put on slot machine filling duty; a boring, tedious job with a lot of noises and loud clients everywhere. Luigi bears it ; he's done that gig before and he's seen much worse as a full time plumber. And while he's doing that job, he befriends several of the maintenant workers, who for the most part are kinda curious about what a human (and a Mario Brother, no less) is doing here.

He's also very, very clumsy. To the point the manager starts to wonder how this is the same guy who beat Bowser at poker. And you know what, he's curious. Screw what Bowser said, until the king butted his head in the job interview, the human had an interesting resume and the manager is not losing more money, he wants to know what the new guy can actually do.

He puts Luigi at one of the tables as his last chance. Either he makes money, or he's out.

And Luigi makes money.

Lot.

Of money.

Bowser visits the casino around about that time, already gloating inside : surely by now that wimp has run back to Mario crying, right ?

Instead he sees Luigi at one of the main Picture Poker tables, charming up the players (and it's something Bowser never expected to see, Luigi being confident and charming -wait why is he finding him charming ??) and large piles of coins piling up on his table.

Turns out, when your casino's style is mostly built around reminding players how tough and impossible to beat you are, a friendly and innocent-looking dealer who encourages you with dorky catchphrases and a cute little laugh is a BIG draw for players who think they still have a chance.

Bowser is FURIOUS (and just slightly horny). But he still can't fire Luigi; not only is he good at his job, but by now word has spread of how Luigi has been hired in the first place, making it very hard to not look like he's a sore loser who can't even win a card came against the "weaker" Mario Brother.

Brother who has the GALL to offer him to play at his table. And smiling on top of that!! That cheeky little thing !!

On his way out, Bowser grabs the manager by the collar : next time he's back, Luigi better has walked out on his own.

The manager appreciates Luigi's work, but he's not putting his job on the line for the new guy. But he's here to make money, and now he's decided to squeeze Luigi out of every coin the human can bring to the casino.

He increases his hours, raises the amount of money he's supposed to make every night, gives him back-to-back shifts, sends the most agressive players to his table (although the bouncers step in if things get too heated).

Usually a dealer is just here to deal, keep count, welcome players, announce hands, that sort of thing. But in Darklands casinos, there are special tables where you can play against the dealer, either on one-on-one or as a normal table; the games there are very high-stake, in an all-or-nothing fashion : you win against the casino, you earn a LOT.

It's the toughest job of the casino : not only the dealer is both player and house, but given these are high stakes games, you can't just put a newbie in charge there. You need a shark, a cold-blooded, lucky son of a bitch who can handle pressure.

The manager sends Luigi there : "you screw up, you're out". Piling up more and more pressure on the poor human's shoulders. As for the other dealers, they feel sorry for the new guy but they certainly won't stick out their necks for him.

But despite the stress and hostile conditions, Luigi isn't Mario's brother for nothing : despite his meek, non confrontational personality, Luigi can be extremely stubborn. He doesn't want to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him quit and so he holds on.

Thankfully, he's got unexpected allies on his side : the maintenance/cleaning crew he's befriended before are outraged at the treatment and decide to help him out. Sneaking him treats and drinks on long night, disturbing games so he's got an easier time winning, arranging tables and chairs to make the other tables less attractive, hiding stuff around. Of course the other dealers notice and some of them are furious...but some start to realise that if Luigi is expected to hold up such high standards, what if these standards become the norm ? And they realise they really don't want such workplace conditions.

Things are getting out off hand. Revolt is brewing in the casino. Bowser gets winds of it and is tempted to close everything on a whim, but Kamek steps in yelling about the revenues the casino makes and how Bowser should get the situation back under control.

Screaming won't solve things, as the entire crew is one bad word away from quitting or going on strike. And he's not going to negotiate with Luigi!

Kamek : "Sir, either fire him or get revenge on him but DO SOMETHING ! He's the mastermind behind this conspiracy!

(He's really not.)

...fine, Bowser decides, he's going to negotiate with Luigi.

Who still doesn't want to quit.

But offers Bowser a deal :

One game a night, until they go through all the casino games. They count each victory and once the total is done, if Bowser has more points, Luigi walks out. If Luigi has more, he gets back a normal work schedule and he can finally focus on his damn job.

It's a stupid wager. It's ridiculous. It's outrageous. Insulting, even.

And Bowser still takes the wager.

Because he finally picks up on something: for some reason, even after everything, Luigi wants to play against him.

You can guess where this goes.

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crookednachogalaxy · 9 months

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i love this so much OP, i cant wait to see more!!!!

Hi! There are role swap AUs of them already and I love them so much, so I tried making my own too! You should know that this is entirely self-indulgent like anything else I draw askdaslds

There is Mareach and Bowuigi bc yes alskdklasd and a tiny bit of one-sided Luaisy that leads to nothing because Luigi's a married man 😔

I had other drawings of them, but they're not colored yet and I wanted to share the idea already sjsjs

Here's some ideas for this AU!

-Mario's the Mushroom Kingdom Princess and his parents are the King and Queen. Luigi used to be the other princess, green princess or green princess Mario (as in, his bro Mario, not his last name Mario 😔), but he married Bowser and became the Queen of the Darklands :y Everyone in there respects and remembers his name, he's built a really good reputation for himself by simply being himself, in this house we believe in the 'Luigi is the Darklands' hero' hc too. Their aunt and uncles (and cousin) rule Sarasaland.

-(King boo's a Darklands ally but still hates Queen Luigi from that one time he wiped clean his mansion when the king kidnapped Mario. Luigi's scared of ghosts still too, but Junior always reassures him he's gonna beat them up if they try scaring his mama (I drew it actually, I'm gonna color it too!))

-When the bros were 20 Bowser at first tried kidnapping Princess Mario, and Mario was ready to beat his ass but they ended up talking about ally-making and ruling a kingdom as Bowser just got crowned king. Mario advised him to listen to his advisor and other stuff and by the time Luigi caught the koopa ship, ready to bonk Bowser in the head with his comically large hammer, the princess and king made plans of starting a treaty.

>Anyways, they met often after that when Bowser went to plan the treat with the Mario King and Queen. Luigi fell for Bowser and Bowser fell harder and Mario regretted talking to Bowser and should have instead just beat him up. He's happy for his bro though. When they married and had Junior and adopted the koopalings he decided that he was very happy that he talked to Bowser. He loves how happy Luigi is.

-Princess Mario accomplishes many things and excels at almost anything he tries, and all the toads treat him as a hero as well as a princess and all, so his dad doesn't think he's a failure, but still bothers him by urging him to get married ever since he turned thirty. He often compares him to Luigi, who got married at 23 and in the present had eight kids with his husband. Mario doesn't give a shit about marrying soon, but wished his dad would stop being annoying. His mamma is a sweetheart as always and often tells her husband to leave him alone. King Mario is stubborn as hell though (his two boys got that from him), so he doesn't.

-Peach and Daisy are cousins and they were trying to start a business together, though they weren't still sure about what (you know as Princess Peach and Daisy have many businesses together in canon aksdla), but before they could settle anything they somehow fell in the pipe and Peach landed in the Mushroom Kingdom and Daisy in the Darklands.

-Bowser still steals the Super Star, but in hopes of giving Luigi the coolest anniversary gift ever, as it's their seventh and all that. He very often gives him all sort of things, like great statues, many many dresses and all the stuff that he knows Luigi loves. Being the himbo he is, he's genuinely concerned that Luigi wouldn't like something unless it is completely new and has never been gifted to him at all. Of course, Luigi would love anything he'd give him, because Bowser's gifts are always made with love. By the end of the things, Luigi tells Bowser so and calls him an idiot affectionally, and also makes him return the Super Star. (movie-like, you know, since this is somehow a retelling alksdlasd)

-Based on what I read at discord, if you're who wrote it, pls know that i love your ideas jsjs- Bowser has set up many statues of Luigi that are of a nice stone color and has gems in its eyes to glow under the lava and the sun when it's out. Imagine that one Luigi render where he's got an arm raised and the other nicely by his side and he's smiling, that's the main statue of Queen Luigi sjjds. They contrast greatly against Bowser's, that were made to make his fierceness stand out, unlike Luigi's that highlight his kindness.

-In the piano scene, Bowser is playing and singing and Luigi's laying on his stomach over the piano's surface (no idea if that's possible but humor me alkdalsd) and listens with the most besotted expression ever, resting his face on his palms. When Kamek interrupts them Luigi's not mad or anything, but Bowser really glares at the magikoopa.

-Junior finds Daisy and brings her to the castle, in hopes that his mama and papa will help her, because they're the greatest people in the whole world and they can do anything.

-Daisy and Luigi quickly become friends, making Bowser jealous of the other human, especially because Daisy from time to time looks at Luigi as if she like-liked him. Not that he thought Luigi had eyes for anyone else beside him, but it was still annoying. And Diasy, for all she annoyed him, seemed to fully respect that Luigi was happily married.

-Daisy teases Bowser mercilessly too, at first clueless that she's supposed to be terrified and respect this guy like everyone else does (maybe Junior takes her to him first, and completely forgetting Junior's initial rambling about his family, she doesn't realize Bowser's the king, but when she meets Luigi, she sees his crown and fancy clothes and immediately knows she gotta be respectful to this guy. She doesn't know how royals are in this lava world, after all), but she keeps doing it, knowing the koopa king may look terrifying but he's mostly bark and no bite.

-DK and Mario are friends and they often meet up to beat the shit out of the other, or sparring as it's called, I think. The first time they did it, Mario got the cat power up and destroyed DK in front of the kong king and other kongs, and since then Cranky doesn't dislike Mario so much, and the others respect him greatly too.

-Mareach,,, they look at eachother and sparkles are in there too. Peach doesn't brutally throw Mario to the ground or anything, but he loses his breath anyways because of her beauty. Also, Mario's type is beautiful tall women (and tall idiot men, maybe his dad suggests DK as a husband and Mario's like ew dad, we're just friends. Or maybe... Donkareach... I like the fics that has them, but idk for this).

-Toad as a wingman, he doesn't care how obvious he is, he's gonna make Princess Mario and his new friend Peach be together, because they clearly like-like the other.

That's all I got for now askdalsd thanks if you read my ramblings, sorry if there's mistakes in writing.

I'm gonna color the stuff I got left and maybe draw more, but knowing myself I dunno if I will anytime soon 😔 Also I go back to college the next week sadly sjsjd

Got any thoughts on the AU? Tell cuz I'd love to know c:< but only if it's nice thoughts, I'm sensitive akdalsd

#bowuigi #bowser x luigi #swap au #this is so CUUUUUTTEEE

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crookednachogalaxy · 9 months

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Enjoy random Luigi x Bowser drawings that I forgot existed. XD

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crookednachogalaxy · 9 months

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Once I Called You Lover

Luigi franticly palmed his way through the unusually darkened Koopa Kingdom and toward Koopa Castle, determined to see the king, plague of darkness be damned. Potholes the size of washtubs pitted the ground around him, nearly causing him to trip over as he grew ever closer to his destination.

Bowser was going to listen to him this time, he will make sure of it!

He just had to.

There was too much at stake if he refused now.

For him and Luigi both.

He sighed as he felt his way towards the main gate. The Koopa guards had long abandoned their posts when the fourth plague came in the form of a swarm of flopters, so there was no fear of being stopped for trespassing. Luigi knelt down and felt around the ground before finding an abandoned torch before venturing closer to the lava moat and dipping one end, lighting it. Though the darkness still obscured his view, the glow of the lava moat and his new torch allowed him to make out the extensive damage the castle took from the bob-omb sized balls of fiery hailstones from two plagues back. Chunks of obsidian stone we're missing from the castle's battlements, dashed to pieces by the fiery balls of ice. Stone statues of the gargantuan Koopa we're missing limbs if not completely smashed all together. As he turned his gaze from the building, he felt his heart constrict with sympathy. Whatever damage Bowser's castle had sustained was nothing compared to the absolute devastation that his citizens' homes endured. The few he was able to see had irreparable damage, ranging from nearly being burnt to the ground to being almost crushed by an giant hailstone, or both. Many of the citizens who lost their homes had to take shelter in one of their gaming arenas, leaving the streets completely empty.

So much destruction. And for what?

He placed a hand over his face before taking a shuddering breath.

How did it come to this? He thought to himself.

What was supposed to be a simple plumbing job with Mario to "save Brooklyn" had turned into a few months of a dream turned waking nightmare. And all because of a certain king whose selfishness was going to get others even more hurt.

Including himself.

Suddenly, the castle gates were opened, causing the timid man to jump. He looked down as Kamek, the royal Magickoopa and one of Bowser's closest advisors, glared at him through his thick coke-bottle glasses.

"What do you want?" He sneered, his beak turned up in a snarl.

"I... I need to speak with Bowser," Luigi stammered, holding the light closer to himself.

Kamek scoffed, "Oh, do you now? What else could you possibly have to say, hmm? What? Was turning our only water supply into lava not enough? What about the frogs? Or our moo-moos dying? Hmm, maybe when you gave everyone shellpox?"

"Kamek-"

"Oh wait, maybe it was last time when the swaphoppers destroyed the rest of our crops after the flying balls of fiery hail burnt most of it to a crisp?"

" C'mon-"

"Let's not forget about the skeeters and flopters! Although, I might be speaking to someone else entirely, considering it's so dark here lately, I haven't been able to see my own beak in front of my face!"

Luigi went silent for a moment. He couldn't blame the elderly mage in the slightest for his anger. But the more time he spent with Kamek, the more time was running out.

"Please, Kamek," Luigi begged, "He needs to hear this. If he doesn't, this next plague will destroy us!"

Kamek paused.

He very well knew what Luigi meant by "us".

He growled.

"I swear, if any harm comes to my grandson-"

"That is what I'm trying to prevent!"

Kamek stared at the young human. When he first arrived in the Darklands, his son had just finished conquering almost all of the known kingdoms after Princess Peach rejected his marriage proposal for the last time and fled to Sarasaland, which was currently under siege. He remembered the way that Bowser's obsession of the Princess seemed to melt away in an instant after locking eyes with this green plumber. The two of them connected in a way that he had never seen before, and he could see just how much his very presence brought out the best in him. He was able to make him laugh (and a real laugh, not the hollow-sounding cackle that he adopted during his conquest), he would stay in the library and learn everything that he could about Koopa culture in order to better understand the things that Bowser held near and dear to him.

But what had really won him over was the way Luigi bonded with the Crown Prince.

If Bowser was in love with Luigi, then Junior seemed to worship the ground he walked on. Every waking moment of the day, Junior wanted to spend it with the green clad man, no matter how boring the task. And who could blame him? In the few times that Bowser kidnapped the princess, Peach would sulk in her room and refuse to let anyone inside, even to give her meals. And though she was never cruel to the poor boy (at least not intentionally) the few interactions she did allow were filled with an apathy so palpable that after a while, Junior stopped asking for her altogether.

But then Luigi arrived.

Soon, the halls were filled with the little prince's laughter as the two of them drew together, played video games, went karting around the castle courtyard, and baked delicious treats together. And with the happiness of the prince, the king's happiness was doubled.

Happiness that the scrawny human brought.

It wasn't very long until Bowser was writing love poems and ballads dedicated to literally sing his praises and three months in, he had commissioned an engagement ring for him.

What a shame that it didn't last.

Without another word, he opened the door wider for his supposed-to-be son-in-law to let him in.

"Thank you." Luigi whispered. The elder nodded his head as he passed, but not before calling his name.

"Luigi."

The green plumber turned around to face the elderly Koopa once more. The weariness from the plagues caused him to slouch and lean against the heavy door.

"Convince him. I don't know how much more of this we can take."

With a nod, Luigi ventured further into the castle, the atrium growing darker as he carried the torch inside.

Luigi breathed in the familiar scent of smoke and brimstone that permeated the castle, his heart aching. This was his home. All he had ever wanted was right here. The man of his dreams, a child to call his own. Everything that his heart desired was right inside this castle.

But the ends can't justify the means.

In the absence of the normal hustle and bustle that used to echo in these halls, the sound of a mournful piano concerto filled the air.

Bowser.

Following the sound, he walked the empty halls as memory after memory played like a broken record in his mind.

The awkward first meeting, when the Koopa spun him around in an attempt to interrogate him.

The room he was given after staying in the dungeon for all of 30 minutes before the little prince came and broke him out in order to play with him.

Their talks in the library.

The first dinner date where they talked long into the night and into the next morning.

Bonding with Junior.

Their first kiss.

The proposal.

The night they shared after.

He stopped outside the music room door, the piece nearing its end as he tried to quietly open the door to not disturb him right away. Bowser poured his heart out over the music willing the plumber to both stay rooted to his spot on the floor and to run into his arms as the crescendo rang out of the instrument and slowly began to fade, much to his dismay.

"Bravo, mio Re. Bravissimo." Luigi whispered.

The Koopa king was startled, his claws causing the piano to create a cacophony of mixed up notes. Luigi had ended up right at the base of the floating stage. He growled as he caught sight of his former lover.

"Oh, let me guess. Greenie wants me to 'let the kingdoms go'?" Bowser spoke, sarcasm lacing his words.

In the poor light, Luigi was still able to make out the king's hulking frame as he hunched over the piano keys. A golden goblet sat right on top of the piano as he paused to take a gulp from it.

"I... I was hoping to find you here."

"Get out!" He barked, chucking the half-full goblet at the voice.

Luigi quickly dodged as the cup shattered on the floor next to him, the sheer force behind that throw causing a dent in the obsidian stone floor.

"Bowser, we need to talk."

He slowly inched his way closer to the piano before Bowser let out another snarl.

"Oh really? What else do we need to talk about that we didn't discuss the last nine times you were here?"

With a heave, he got up from the piano bench and stomped past him, nearly toppling Luigi over with his spiked tail.

"Now leave. And don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Luigi breathed out a sigh as he tried to keep up with the fleeing Koopa, his gigantic strides causing him to jog to the throne room after him, torch in hand like he was in the opening ceremony for the Olympic games.

If it weren't for the situation, Luigi would have chuckled at himself.

Bowser, meanwhile, was getting agitated. The green man was the one person he most definitely didn't want to see right now. Or ever again, for that matter.

Liar. His heart seemed to reply.

He finally got to the throne room doors and tried to quickly open and close it before Luigi could follow him in. He didn't care if the room would be pitch dark. In fact, he would actually prefer it at the moment. But the presence of a tiny glow of firelight that lit up the dark room made him aware that his efforts of keeping him away were in vain. Luigi had already found a fire pit nearby and threw his torch into it, lighting the pit into flames for the both of them to see each other better.

With a defeated sigh, he stumbled his way towards the throne, slouching and folding his arms with a pout. It took all of Luigi's willpower to not just go up there and kiss that pout away, just like they used to, but there was too much at stake now.

"Well? Get on with it! Tell me how awful I am and how I am such a monster." Bowser interrupted his thoughts.

The human glanced at the Koopa, a hurt expression on his face.

"You're not a monster."

Bowser scoffed.

"Oh really? Then why did you leave, huh? I get the fact that you would have been startled by my plans for world domination, but to up and leave like that?"

Startled? Luigi thought, That was an understatement.

"Did you know that I had to try and explain to Junior why his Mama was missing? Why every time I looked for you, I could never find you? He was crying every night for two weeks straight!"

Luigi was stricken dumb as his heart sank. He never intended to hurt the little prince. Junior might as well be his own heart, he loved that little boy as if he was his own.

And that's why I got to convince him!

"I-"

"And then, you just decide to show up after abandoning us!"

"I didn't -"

"And then-

"WILL YOU JUST LET ME TALK?!"

Bowser jumped in shock, shutting up immediately. No matter how angry he was, Luigi had never yelled at him like that.

He didn't know whether to be scared, pissed, or aroused.

And he didn't know which one he wanted to feel more.

"Bowser, we both know there is no other option. Your people are suffering; the plagues are not going to stop unless you do what's right and let the other kingdoms go."

And... The feeling's gone.

Bowser huffed at that.

"If that is all you have to say, then you might as well see yourself out. I'll take my chances with the plagues."

Luigi growled in frustration. If he had the power to yank this Koopa around and shake him until he had some common sense, he most absolutely would.

"Stars! Why must you act like such a-"

"Like a what?! Go on, say it!"

After a moment of silence, Bowser huffed again, deciding to be petty.

"Well, at least I am not someone's pawn!"

Luigi felt his blood boil at that.

"You take that back!"

"Why?" Bowser sneered, " Does the truth hurt?"

"At least I actually care about what happens to your citizens! You're so willing to let your people get hurt 'cause of what?! Some... stupid sense of pride?!"

"Do you think I like this?! That I like to see the people I love so much suffering?!"

"Then why don't you just let the other kingdoms go, tu... tu esasperante tartaruga?!"

"Because I will not allow myself to be weak again!"

Luigi was stunned into silence. Bowser slumped back onto his throne, emotionally exhausted. It was no secret that Bowser was a very passionate king. It was regarded as his best (and worst) quality, as Princess Peach had attested when he ran to Sarasaland. His love was just as deep and consuming as his rage and both resulted in something breaking.

Or someone.

Luigi sighed. This was getting nowhere, like the other nine times. Suddenly, he had an idea.

"Why don't we just...talk?"

Bowser did not reply, avoiding eye contact with him.

"No arguments, no fighting, just a regular conversation."

Silence. Bowser was not going to budge, not one bit.

Nope.

Not by a long shot.

Let him stew in his-

"I'm sorry for not saying goodbye."

Bowser looked up at that. The plumber stood still, green cap in his hands, his eyes casted towards the floor as he spoke.

"I'm sorry for hurting you like that. For hurting Junior like that. No matter what I saw, what I heard, I should have at least left you a note. But I... I knew that if I didn't go then and there, I would never leave."

Bowser still didn't reply.

Luigi sat down at the foot of his throne, his back turned to the Koopa before he heard him grumble.

"I didn't know where you were. I thought something bad had happened to you and that you were gone forever. And when you came back, I was so relieved. But then..."

He stopped talking, unwilling to speak on that moment.

The day his world seemed to crash and burn.

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he himself had spent many a restless night sobbing his eyes out. He never had romantic feelings about anyone in his life. Even with Peaches from before his takeover, which he had now understood as an obsessive infatuation. But Luigi was different, even now.

Luigi was the first and only person he had ever truly loved that wasn't his adopted father or his son.

And the first and only one who truly loved him back.

I highly doubt he loves me now, the Koopa King thought.

Luigi felt his eyes well up with tears of shame. He truly didn't take into account just how much his disappearance affected them. Sure, he knew that Bowser would be upset, maybe even feel betrayed, but he didn't mean for him to worry.

"I meant what I said, y'know. When you first came back."

Luigi looked up and met the king's amber eyes as he stared directly at him, watching his every move before he continued.

"You were my everything. The best thing to ever happen to me. And, to be honest, you still are. Even if you don't love me anymore, I still love you. And whatever I did to loose that love, I'm sorry."

The silence was deafening as Bowser laid his heart bare for the plumber. Luigi's own heart seemed to mend and break as his feet seemed to take a mind of their own. He sprinted up the throne steps, climbed atop the throne armrest and hugged him as best as he could before speaking.

"But that's the thing, amore. I never stopped loving you."

It was then that Bowser felt it.

The fluttering of his heart that he tried to ignore as he took Luigi and held him closer.

"Just as beautiful as the day I lost you," Bowser whispered as he cupped Luigi's face with his paw.

He closed the space between them in a kiss. Time seemed to melt away at that moment and it was just the two of them and eternity. The weeks of pain that they went through was inconsequential, it was just them, that moment, forever.

The kiss broke all too soon as they touched foreheads, their eyes closed.

"I love you, mio Re. Tu avrai il mio cuore per sempre." Luigi whispered.

He felt Bowser set him down on the floor him as he opened his eyes, gasping at the sight before him.

"Then stay. Please."

Bowser was on one knee, a heartbreakingly hopeful expression on his face, and in his claws was a golden ring set with emeralds and a large ruby in the middle.

His engagement ring.

The same engagement ring that Bowser proposed with all those months ago in the castle courtyard.

The same engagement ring that he wore when he ran to Sarasaland to meet up with his brother and Princess Peach.

The same engagement ring he wore when Rosalina, Princess of the Lumas, commanded him to go to Bowser and demand for the freedom of all of his conquests.

The same engagement ring he gave back when he returned the first time.

"I-"

"Mama?" A small voice interrupted.

The couple turned around to see a little Koopaling carrying a flashlight in one claw and a teddy bear in the other.

Junior.

Junior couldn't believe his eyes. His Mama was back home where he belonged. Dropping the stuffed animal at the door, he took a running start at the plumber before taking a flying leap into his arms. Luigi caught him and twirled him into a bear hug.

"I missed-ed you!" The little boy sobbed, dampening the front of his denim overalls.

"I missed you too, il mio Principe." He nuzzled the Koopa prince's fiery locks as he held him closer to him.

Bowser looked on as his two greatest joys reunited, his heart ready to burst. Junior had most definitely taken Luigi's disappearance the hardest. His crying and tantrums were loud enough to tear the paint off of the walls, and he even resulted to that when he learned that his Mama came back, demanding his father to let him see him.

And now his wish has come true.

Settling himself into Luigi's arms, Junior nuzzled his face into his shoulder, taking in his smell.

"You're home! I missed-ed you so much and I don't want you to go again! We can go see the new artwork I made for you and Papa and go round on my clown car and...and..."

Bowser laughed, ruffling his boy's head.

"One thing at a time, Junior. Mama just got back, but you have plenty of time to show him everything once he's all rested. Right, Luigi?"

Luigi's smile slowly began to fade, regret shining in his sapphire eyes. Junior, sensed his Mama's hesitation.

"You are staying this time, right Mama?"

With a shuddering breath, he hugged him closer.

"I'm sorry, tesoro. But I can't stay... Not this time."

Bowser felt his mind do a record scratch halt.

After all of that, after he had handed the plumber his battered and bruised heart once again, even after their declarations of love, Luigi had crushed it in his hands, like it was nothing. And now he has broken their son's heart in return.

"B-but, why?" Junior cried, tears forming in his crimson eyes.

Luigi was silent as Bowser gave a mirthless chuckle.

"Y'know, Luigi? You really had me there for a second."

"Bowser, I-"

"All those declarations of love you just spewed out, just gotta hit 'em where it hurts, right? So go ahead Luigi," Bowser baited, "Tell us. Why?"

"Because... because what you're doing isn't right and you know it, Bowser."

"Right? And what is right? Before I took over, those kingdoms were rife with war and famine, both with us and with each other! The citizens of those other kingdoms were treated unfairly, their leaders did nothing to help the poor and marginalized, so I instilled order by dethroning their corrupt leaders. And I don't know what "Princess" Peach or your nuisance of a brother tried to sell you about what the Mushroom Kingdom was like before, but it was not some happy-go-lucky utopia. In fact, her forefathers had once enslaved my entire kingdom for centuries. Enslaved, Luigi! Treated us like the scum of the earth! Made us fight to the death for their own wars and amusement!"

"And how is that any different, Bowser? How is taking over kingdoms by force any different from what the Mushroom Kingdom did to yours?"

"Because at least I can protect them just like I protect my own kingdom! Or at least I did, until you came along and brought these plagues down upon us!"

Here we go again! Luigi mourned.

"I'm not, Bowser. You are. The more you resist, the worse the plagues will be. If you would just please listen-"

Luigi reaches out his hand to touch his golden scales, but the king flinched away, his temper growing less and less restrained.

"I will not be dictated to. I will not be threatened. I am the morning and evening star. I am Bowser! King of the Koopas!"

"Something else is coming, something much worse than anything before. Please, let go of your contempt for life before it destroys everything we hold dear. Think of our son!"

Bowser looked down as Junior clung onto Luigi's overalls, terrified but unwilling to let go of his Mama as he placed a gloved hand on his tuft of red hair. A moment ago, Luigi's claim to his little boy would have softened his heart, but now all he felt was rage. With a roar of betrayal, he punched his throne, hearing the distinct sound of metal being snapped in half and gems crushing under his palm.

"I do." He growled at last, "And fuck me for not doing this before."

Luigi felt his breath hitch in fear.

"Bowser? Bowser, what are you-?"

"Kamek! Get in here, now!"

With a pop, Kamek appeared on his broomstick, a worried look etched into his face.

"Yes, Your Wrathfulness?"

"Call the troopas! Tomorrow, we attack Sarasaland and destroy all who stand in my way, once and for all! Starting with Mario!"

He turned to the love of his life, a hateful sneer gracing his maw.

"And there will be a great cry throughout all the kingdoms, such as there never has been or ever will be again!"

Luigi's blood froze in his veins as he felt his knees sink to the floor, his grip on Junior growing tighter.

Bowser briefly stole one last glance at his family before glancing down at the crushed ring in his hands, a flash of regret and pain shining in his eyes before stomping past them as he and Kamek made preparations for a full-on ambush. .

The elder mage and the young man gave each other a horrified, knowing glance before the plumber broke down into sobs as king and advisor left.

He was right about one thing: tomorrow, there will be a great cry throughout the kingdoms.

But both his and Bowser's sobs will echo the loudest of all.

You failed. The words buzzed around his mind like an angry swarm of hornets.

"Bowser," He whispered sorrowfully, hugging their scared son for what would be the last time, "You have doomed us all."

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crookednachogalaxy · 9 months

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Not to get too personal on the bowuigi blog, but last night I went to an amusement park and threw up on a ride that I rode trying to be brave. It was the worst, but it got me thinking:

Luigi is the type to do the same thing. He wants to be brave and have fun, so he rides the crazy ride. But it ends up backfiring completely aka he pukes like me and Bowser has to take care of him and assure him that he didn’t ruin the date. From now on Bowser has to make sure Luigi doesn’t push himself too hard on amusement park dates <3

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crookednachogalaxy · 9 months

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Bowser and Luigi Incorrect Quotes Because Why Not Honestly

Luigi, handing a balloon to Bowser: I have no soul. Have a good day!

Bowser, walking off: I don't have one either.

Luigi: Bowser, I need some advice.

Bowser: You need advice from ME?

Luigi: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Luigi: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Bowser: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Luigi: You don’t have to wear…

Bowser: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

Bowser: I made tea.

Luigi: I don't want tea.

Bowser: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

Luigi: Then why did you tell me?

Bowser: It's a conversation starter.

Luigi: It's a horrible conversation starter.

Bowser: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Luigi: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Bowser: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Bowser: Luigi and I are no longer dating.

Luigi: Bowser, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Luigi: *is visibly upset*

Bowser: Luigi, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

Luigi: You don't know anything about me!

Bowser: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Bowser: You don't know anything about me!

Luigi: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

Bowser: A decision had to be made.

Luigi: And you fucked it up!

Luigi: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes?

Bowser: Making four accounts.

Luigi, tearing up: Really...?

Bowser: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?

Luigi: Not by the law!

Luigi: Bowser is not allowed to decide which one of us is the chosen one.

Luigi: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Bowser: I wrote you a poem.

Luigi, already crying: You did?

Bowser: Love makes people do stupid things.

Luigi: I love everything!

Bowser: That explains a lot.

Luigi: Hey.

Bowser: Hey?

Luigi: I can't sleep. :/

Bowser: I can. Goodnight.

Luigi: Bowser, you need to react when people cry!

Bowser: I did. I rolled my eyes.

Bowser, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Luigi, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

Bowser: You're violent.

Luigi: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.

Bowser: Do you have a self-care routine?

Luigi: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

Luigi: They don’t make them like me no more. I’m the last of my kind.

Bowser: Thank god.

Luigi: So I was just having a conversation with Bowser about Star Wars; particularly, about the choice of architecture. The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TOO DAMN HIGH! Like, who designs architecture like this? Catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids. Giant holes to nowhere!

Bowser: It's by design. It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time.

Luigi: Like... who the fuck put this hole here???? And why????

Bowser: Exhaust?

Luigi: Darth Maul falls down a hole, Palpatine falls down a hole, Solo falls down a hole, everyone falls down a hole! Star Wars universe needs OSHA.

Bowser: Luke falls down a hole, Boba Fett falls down a hole…

Luigi: Yes, yes, I forgot about those! R2-D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive.

Bowser: We're onto something here!

Luigi: Obi-Wan almost falls down a hole.

Bowser: C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole.

Luigi: His lightsaber does though.

Bowser: *thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes*

Luigi: What if the hole is symbolic? The hole represents the dark side.

Bowser: Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side.

Luigi: Fair point.

(^ ive litterally never seen that before in my life, so i thought it was funny. but like- imagine they're talking ab Bowser's Castle design.)

Bowser: If by any chance Luigi should attack, just start calmly talking about anything.

Luigi: Bowser told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.

Bowser: Whether or not I pay income taxes is none of the government's business.

Luigi: No, well, actually, it is.

Bowser: You don't know my name or what I look like, good luck finding me.

Bowser, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

Luigi: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Bowser: I absolutely fucking do not.

Bowser: What is this!?

Luigi: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.

Bowser: Ow! Make it stop!

Luigi: Surrender to your kindness, Bowser. It’s nice to be nice.

Bowser: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

Bowser: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Luigi: Killed without hesitation.

Bowser: Gatekeep, girlboss, and what's the other one again?

Luigi: There isn't another one. You're crazy.

Luigi: How many children do you have?

Bowser: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

Luigi: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Bowser: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Luigi: ...

Luigi: You mean ring bearER, right?

Bowser: ...

Luigi: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

#i love each and every quote here op

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crookednachogalaxy · 9 months

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The Chat really loves Bowser

Luigi sat by his desk, getting his cameras and headphones ready for a live stream. The soft glow of the studio lights illuminated the room, creating an atmosphere of anticipation and excitement. His heart with a mix of nervousness and exhilaration as he prepared to connect with his audience.

As he adjusted the angle of his cameras, Luigi couldn't help but reflect on how far he had come. What started as a simple hobby had now transformed into a full-fledged career. His passion for gaming and technology had propelled him into the world of live streaming, where he could share his experiences and connect with like-minded individuals from all corners of the globe.

He still can’t believe he acquired such a huge fanbase. A lot of people seemed to like his personality and actually liked his commentary; even his videos on mushroom foraging garnered thousands of views within the hour. It made Luigi very proud of himself; plus, his interactions with his fans have been nothing but enjoyable.

The door to his room opened. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at Bowser. The red-haired Koopa stepped into his room, then kissed his forehead. “I’m going to go pick up Junior,” he said.

“Okay, be safe!”

He reached up and scratched his chin, earning some happy chirps from him before he walked out again. Luigi smiled softly at his boyfriend’s retreating back before returning to his previous activities. As soon as he sat down, he switched into his streamer mode. The screens came to life and the cameras started recording. Luigi grinned, “Welcome back everybody! Tis I, WeegeBoard9000!” he said while laughing. The chat immediately started rolling with comments as people greeted him and made donations.

With a swift motion, Luigi's fingers danced across the keyboard, skillfully navigating through the game menus. As the game loaded, he took a moment to acknowledge some of the comments popping up on the screen.

"Hey WeegeBoard9000! Long time no see!" one viewer exclaimed.

"Luigi, you're my favorite streamer! Can't wait to see what you have in store for us today!" another chimed in.

*Peach_hime donated 30 bits! Hi, Weeg! Gimme ten minutes and I’ll hop on.*

“Ew, the gamer twink’s back.” said the very obvious account of Wario.

Luigi sneakily kicked him out before moving on with his stream. He delved into the game, he skillfully maneuvered through its challenges while simultaneously keeping an eye on the chat. He responded to questions, shared tips and tricks with fellow gamers, and engaged in lighthearted banter with his audience.

*King donated 2500 bits! Stay hydrated darling ;)*

Ohh~ his highness has made an appearance!

Man, i wish i had a stream daddy 😔

Where iz this mf getting so much coin??!

Comments of similar caliber followed. Luigi tried to hide his blush, recognizing his boyfriend’s account. Bowser always makes it a personal mission to donate something during his streams. Luigi couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth in his chest as he read the comments praising Bowser's generosity. It was moments like these that reminded him why he fell in love with Bowser in the first place. Despite his tough exterior, Bowser had a heart of gold.

*prince donated 100 bits! HiWEEGIE!”

OMG IT’S DA BOIIII

The lil man’s here too

Baby boi, protecc the bean

Luigi chuckled and thanked Junior for the donation; he probably asked his dad to donate for him too. With the chat taken care of for a bit, the streamer continued his game for several hours, tuning out the outside world.

The stream was in full-swing now as Luigi and a few online friends were collecting items to fight a boss. Luigi was so engrossed with preparations that he didn’t hear the noise of the front door opening or the familiar pitter patter of feet on the wooden floor. The door opened a bit as Junior yelled a greeting before closing the door. The man glanced back at the noise, smiled, then proceeded with the game.

Without him noticing, Bowser went into his room. At the sight of him, the chat went absolutely ballistic.

HELLO???

Hunk alert, hello🥵

NO SHELL? FOR FREE??

Ayo, who dat 🫦

Luigi glanced at the last comment then swiveled his chair around; Bowser wrapped his bulky arms around him and kissed the top of his head. “Dinner’s gonna be ready in a few minutes, so don’t stay too long,” he whispered into his hair. Luigi’s face and ears reddened at the gesture, considering Bowser was, in fact, shell-less and basically pulled his face into his chest. He thinks he replied… Probably. The donations going off was what called his attention.

DILF 🥵

Muscle man and he cooks? Luigi, bag him.

dilfdilfdilf

Weeg has that unspoken rizz

Luigi looked up. “Whoa, whoa. Calm down everybody,”

His subscribers didn’t listen, sending many sporadic comments and blush-inducing questions. The donation bell kept blowing up.

*BooKing donated 500 bits! Luigi, u have all of dat to urself?!*

*BadBitchPrincess donated 1500 bits! L ultimate rizzlord😌*

Can he come back pls?

Bring back the dilf, ty.

Glory o glory, what a helluva way to die 🫡

🫡

Luigi nervously snorted and pulled his hat over his head, giving up on taking back control. Guess the chat really likes Bowser.

#kicking screaming squealing crying #i love everything about this #THANK YOU OP #bowuigi

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