crazyxtian

[crazyxtian]

#ktolnoe

[crazyxtian]

Call me in the middle of the night

and tell me you can't sleep without me.

[crazyxtian]

I'm still frustrated and I really hate this feeling.

I wish I could be somewhere

I can be alone to

Just shout and cry

Till my lungs run out of air

And my eyes dry out.

[crazyxtian]

[crazyxtian]

I miss you. I really do. My day isn’t complete if I did not talk to you or see you. It’s difficult not being able to have a conversation with you for a few days or a week. I want to hear all your stories and feelings and I have so much to tell to you too. But I’m thankful that we still get some updates about each other. I worry about you darling, I pray everyday for your safety, health and success in everything you do. I want you to know that I love you. No matter what. See you and talk to you soon, Batch. Good night and sweetest dreams 😘

[crazyxtian]

Our Infinity and Beyond

I will wait for the day

you'll say you miss me

and the way I hold you in my arms

The second when you'll post a memory

Of us again, discovering the world, smiling warm

The time you'll look me in the eyes intimately

Our music playing, dancing night til dawn

The good night messages said long and sweetly

Then waking me up with hugs and precious yawns

The minute we'll know our love is infinity

I've found my partner & soulmate,

Batch you are the ONE.

Darling, We'll make these moments our reality,

Baby, I just need you to come home.

[crazyxtian]

September

Looking back through our conversations

I stumbled upon a simple realization

The previous month was the busiest we have been

With work, school, overtime stuff we hadn't foreseen

We were so focused, wanted to make each other proud

We were rolling to our success and the start was good, but

I want to go back and repeat the whole September

To spend and give more time for each other

I wish I told us to relieve our stresses together and relax more

Netflix, movies, fun vidchats for hours just like before

I would call you in the mornings and catch up on the weekends

Talk about our feelings, thoughts, stories about how our week went

Time is something we can't reverse and recover

But we can go forward and become better

We have a solid foundation, we should remember

Let’s keep working for our relationship to be stronger

I am fully committed to you, my partner

I will keep you in my heart, forever.

[crazyxtian]

I searched the whole world

for a love like yours,

but every road just leads me back

to our home.

I hope and pray every night

for this to come true:

that you are just wandering,

and you'll come home soon.

—elaidizon

Artwork by: Giorgio Gosti

from: Betsin-artparasites

[crazyxtian]

I have good days, bad days, and really bad days.

Bad days are when I look at myself in any reflection, doubt myself and think I am not enough for anyone. Days that I could not focus on my work and only look at my phone. Days that I don’t hear the people who are talking to me coz I only hear my own thoughts.

Good days are when I wake up early and eat a good breakfast and feel extremely excited to talk to you. Days when I smile when I see a photo of you. Days when I get to talk to you in vidchat and hear your voice.

Really bad days are when I don’t want to get up at all. Days when I cry randomly throughout the day because I imagine how you kissed, hold hands, hugged, and do “stuff”. Days when I breakdown and sit up on my bed staring at the walls. Days when I really don’t want to eat or drink anything. Days when I thought about taking my own life.

Good thing is i rarely have the really bad days now.

[crazyxtian]

If you love someone and you’ve done something that hurt them, aren’t you supposed to refrain from doing it again so that you won’t give them pain again?

But baby you keep on doing it. You being happy with him, it hurts me more than you can imagine.

I always tell you how I feel about it, hoping that you won’t continue. But I couldn’t stop you.

The thought of you together doing the things you told me makes me crazy. I am sad, hurt, confused, disappointed, mad, all things negative combined.

My heart feels heavy when I think about everything that is happening. I literally could not sleep.

But somehow, for a moment, I repress the pain during our conversations. I find happiness in your voice and words.

But when I don’t have anyone to talk to, I go downhill again and paranoia takes over my mind.

[crazyxtian]

My Rollercoaster Ride

Read my feelings