craytered

[craytered]

Topped a farmer last night lol

[craytered]

woman listens to song she used to love when she was fifteen 10 dead 20 injured 

[craytered]

she's in a better place now (her bedroom)

[craytered]

girls will have realizations and immediately pretend they didnt have them

[craytered]

every day i wake up and mourn the heinous fact i’m not a vampire

[craytered]

the line between not going out as an act of self-care and not going out as a symptom of depression is but a gossamer thread

[craytered]

im the prettiest canary in this mine

[craytered]

i go outside after a long day at the office and stretch my arms wide. birds of prey sweep down from every direction and tear me into ribbons of gore with their talons and beaks and their talons and beaks and their talons and their beaks

[craytered]

foreplay is not the kissing right before he fucks you, foreplay is the 32 hours you spend torturing him in a shipping container before you even let him see you naked

[craytered]

decriminalize:

sex work

addiction

criminalize: 

golf

[craytered]

baby i fuck you 🐜 ant style

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hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

[craytered]

wait wtf is cream soda

[craytered]

blue-haired liberal sounds like the name of a delicate endangered species of bird

[craytered]

divorce is so funny. like never mind

[craytered]

getting blazed as fuck in public, thinking "boy I sure hope no one knows how high I am right now", and then having the jumpscare of your life when duolingo gives you this notification

[craytered]

if the world ran out of salt tomorrow i woouldnt even notice because i would have lready killed myself a week earlier when my sources informed me of the impending disaster