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Ruby: One time I swallowed Jaune’s cum and said ‘my compliments to the chef.’

Ruby: He ain’t laugh.

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Weiss is the jealous type

Jaune: I saw someone at the store who looked just like you.

Weiss: Was she hot?

Jaune:

Weiss:

Jaune: This is a catch 22.

Weiss: Answer the question, coward.

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~Jaune has been arrested~

Penny: Jaune! If you want be absolved of your crimes you must sign this paper!

Jaune: Really? That's it?

Penny: Yes, now hurry!

Jaune: Okay *He signs the paper*

Penny: Thank you Hubby!

Jaune: Hubby?

Weiss: Jaune, if you want to ba absolved-

Penny: You are too late Weiss! He has already married me!

Weiss: Fuck! *She punches a wall, cracking it*

Jaune: What's going on?

Penny: By marrying a Citizen of Atlas, you have been granted a green card and all crimes (Provided they are non-violent or acts of treason) previously enacted against the Kingdom have been pardoned.

Jaune: Oh! Thanks Penny! Why are you upset Weiss?

Weiss: *Blushing as she crosses her arms* Because I had wanted to do it.

Jaune: Really? That seems like an overreaction to the situation.

Penny: It's because she likes you romantically, much like I do.

Jaune: Wait, What? Weiss?!? You LIKE- *Processing what Penny said* YOU BOTH LIKE ME?!?!

P+W: Yes. Yes we do.

Jaune: ... Huh ...

Winter: *barges in* MISTER ARC-

P+W: Too late.

Winter: FUCK! *She punches a wall, Shattering it*

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Kid Ruby: When I grow up I want to marry someone like the Rusted Knight.

Ruby: A good person who always tries to help people!

Taiyang: Uh hm.

Ruby: Oh, and I'd like if he was blond and had a lot of muscles.

Taiyang: *Thinking* Note to self: Beware of muscular blonds.

------

Kid Pyrrha: I think I'd want a kind husband who would do anything to help the people he loves.

Pyrrha: Someone with a hear of gold.

Mama Nikos: That's nice dear.

Pyrrha: Kind of like a golden retriever, but in human form.

Mama Nikos: Like a faunus?

Pyrrha: Eh, sort of? I'd love him no matter if he was a human or faunus though.

------

Mama Arc: What kind of girl would you like to marry, Jaune?

Kid Jaune: I'd like her to be nice.

Mama Arc: Nice?

Jaune: I probably need to lower my standards, don't I?

Mama Arc: ...

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"You okay back there, Weiss?"

Weiss: 😳

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Locker Room

Ruby: W-Why do we have to have co-ed locker rooms?

Weiss: It is a rather odd design choice.

Blake: Do you think you're always going to have privacy in the field?

Yang: No, but it's easier to wash when people aren't-

Jaune: *Walks through naked* Nora, did you steal my towel again?

Nora: It's so fluffy~.

Jaune: Well give it back!

RWBY: ...

Ruby: Maybe it won't be so bad.

Weiss: The design seems to have it's advantages.

Blake: I've seen horse faunus less hung than that.

Yang: Guess I'll be the one doing the staring this time.

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Weiss, Weiss... :[

Commission for @/Jeanjim77 on Twitter, thank you ! Drawing Jaune as the Rusted Knight takes a LONG time-

I'm still finishing a few commissions, then I should be able to reopen them o/

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Jaune: Thanks for bringing me drugs, even if it is the weak shit.

Weiss: It's herbal tea!

Jaune: And it's the weakest drug I've ever had.

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Jaune: Saph, I swear Adrian gets bigger everytime I see him!

Saphron: *Over the phone* Ugh, Jaune, You sound just like Uncle Drayk.

Jaune: Hey! I can't help being right!

Pyrrha: Who are you talking to?

Jaune: My sister Saphron! You wanna meet her?

Pyrrha: Uhm .. Sure. Hello?

Saphron: Hey! You're Pyrrha Nikos! Every restaurant around town claims it was your childhood favorite. You treating my brother Well?

Pyrrha: ...

Jaune: Sorry Saph! She can be a little nervous when people greet her like she's a celebrity.

Saphron: SHE'S A CELEBRITY? Well, I guess it'd make sense why people around here like her so much!

Pyrrha: *licks her lips* Oh, I'm sorry, yes I am, and I do my best to give Jaune the same respect he gives me!

Saphron: Well that's great to hear! He's told me a lot about you - You should come meet the Family! Here - I'll send Jaune a picture!

*Ping*

Jaune: Thanks Saph! Look at this- this is my Family!

Pyrrha: *internally* Oh lords who art in the Heavens, I give the my most deep of Thanks for the wondrous Gift of Jaune and his family! So many beautiful Blondes~

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Jaune: *Dressed as an alien, wearing an "I Come in Peace Shirt*

Ruby: Hey Jaune, What's the occasion?

Jaune: Pyrrha.

Ruby: Pyrrha what?

Pyrrha: *Pregnant, Wearing a shirt that says I'm Peace* Hello Again~

Ruby: Ah.

Jaune: Yeah.

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Pyrrha: *Walks into RWBY's dorm carrying Jaune on her Shoulder* Good morning.

Jaune: Hey guys.

Ruby: hey ... What's going on?

Pyrrha: *Picks up Weiss, slings her over the other shoulder* Mine.

Weiss: H-hey! I still need to brush my hair!

Jaune: Just let it Happen Weiss. She'll let us go eventually.

Pyrrha: Mine. *She walks out with both Weiss on Jaune*

Weiss: Wait! Guys! Help!

Yang: ... You wanna fight her?

Blake: Pyrrha? Hell no.

Ruby: Yeah. Are either of you scared for Weiss? She'll be fine, Right?

Yang: Yeah, She'll be alright.

Blake: Frankly, I'm a little jealous of Pyrrha.

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Family photo

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*Weiss and Jaune are laying in their bed the night before Jaune has to go to the hospital to get a kidney transplant*

Jaune: If I die during the operation tomorrow, will you do one thing for me?

Weiss: Oh, anything sweetheart!

Jaune: Blow up the hospital…

Weiss: Hrmmmm. Well, I said I'd do it, so I guess I'll have to.

Jaune: That’s my girl!

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Ruby: Jaune.

Jaune: Yeah?

Ruby: I long for you both emotionally and physically.

Jaune: Oh, wow. I never expected-

Ruby: And I would love nothing more than for you to bend me over right now and f-

Yang: *Covering her ears* Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah! I can't hear you!

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Penny writes Jaune a valentines letter

Valentine's Day letters. (Penny)

Jaune: A Valentine's Day letter from Penny. I see that she is experiencing the festivities.

He opens the letter and says:

"Now that I'm human, I no longer have a reactor. But when I look at you, I always get a reaction~"

Jaune: *Blushing* Aw~

"P.S. I mean that you make me horny"

Jaune: *Red* Oh!

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@ehlihr so uh, suite life of zack and cody au

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anywaysss screw the canon have nice girl chloe