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Connection: IRL vs Online

My hungry ghost is Connection. My desire for connection feels so big, and relentless. And I am wondering if I have been going about it all wrong, for a long time. As I examined in my last post, connection is a core value, it’s importance is deeply embedded in me. I am beginning to see it more through the Buddhist lens, of my Hungry Ghost, which changes it from not just a need, but something I…

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Connection at my Core

Who am I and what is my purpose are questions that keep my head racing. Literally the most fundamental and foundational questions feel like they are unanswered. I honestly don’t know how I am at this point in my life, in my relationships, in my career, in my body, in my hobbies, and still have such a weak and seemingly vulnerable grasp on these questions, let alone the answers. I have recently…

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A love letter to running

If I’m being honest, running feels like a deeply personal topic for me. I share my weekly stats on my Instagram pages, and I actually share most of my running experiences with my friend Fiona, but when it comes to my actual relationship with running, it feels intimate. Running entered my life in a very toxic way. It was a form of punishment. It was relentless, and for all the wrong reasons. I…

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An interview with my mom, a recent retiree

Originally written: 02/20/2023 The idea of retirement has been an abstract concept in my mind for as long as I can recall. I have visions of sandy beaches, leathery tanned skin, days filled with golf and reading. I think what I am actually describing is my family trip to Florida when I was 15 years old. The sandy beaches were lined with snowbirds, listening to their battery operated radios,…

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Reevaluating energy output

Originally written: 02/05/2023 There is a certain expectation that every day we will continue to show up in the same way. People want to know what to expect from us, and unconsciously hold us to that specific expectation. We all do it, and if I were to guess, I think this is a survival technique, knowing how to prepare ourselves, understanding the environments we are entering. Historically, I…

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The anonymity of @finsta

Originally written: January 15, 2023 Hot out the gates, and I am diving into a complicated topic. So let’s take our time getting into it. I started @budigtt on Instagram, as a way of breaking down my own barriers in budgeting and personal finance. The biggest hang ups I have had in my relationship with money revolve around shame and isolation. And if I have learned anything from the esteemed…

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Romanticizing Daily Habits

Originally written: 01/27/2023 So far, 2023 has had a lot of positive shifts and movement, there is a sense of motivation that feels really exciting. This isn’t an uncommon sentiment that comes along with a New Year, the season of resolutions. However, this year I do really feel as though I am approaching this movement in a different way. I have always been relatively disciplined by nature, I…

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shame + money

Originally written: 01/23/2023 Yesterday’s post has me reflecting on my own shame around money. At first glance, thoughts of my debt come up. When I dig a bit deeper I begin thinking about the fact that I don’t own a home, when so many others my age do. Even further I start to examine the “rules of money” I was taught, and what I really want to explore is my first experiences with shame, in…

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The Influence of Influencers

Written: 01/22/2023 It’s not as though they try to disguise their intentions, it’s written right in their title. Influencers, influence. I do however think there should be a long-form title Influencers, Influence Spending. Now, I want to start by saying I respect the heck out of creators who are building meaningful and engaging content online. I learn so much from folks on the internet,…

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Just write

I can remember back in Facebook’s peak, when we were all discovering the landscape of public self-expression. We were, for the first time, publishing our opinions, and standing on our digital soap boxes. Today, while flipping through my Facebook Memories, I cringe at some of the bold, under-researched and poorly executed claims I have made. I did not hold back; in fact, I bulldozed ahead. I…

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Tuning out and in

The school year, and therefore my work year, ended on June 24, and for the last 3 weeks, I have been spinning out. I have cleaned, organized, re-caulked, minimized – my entire apartment. I have been walking an average of 15,000 steps a day. I’m doing beach clean ups. I’m hiking. I’m working out. I’m making delicious food. I’m working side jobs. I’m reading books. I’m “taking care of myself” and…

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nostalgic ramblings

I have lived enough life to have life to look back on. And I don’t know if it’s time or place, or both, but I have been in a regular state of reminiscing. Life happens in stages, the lines are blurred in the moment, and only surface upon reflection. Recently, I have really become aware of a current shift where certain stages are definitely in the past now. Actually, I have honestly been feeling…

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💕

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My fleurs, thank you @chrisdavid 🌸

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Effin sunnnnnny 😎☀💰 (at Sailor Jack)

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Going to Africa #snooze (at Victoria International Airport (YYJ))

#snooze

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Whoaaaaaa 🌸🌸🌸