cozyparalian

[cozyparalian]

I don’t feel good

Something is very weird rn

I am shaking and I am scared.

I wanna go home

All of sudden I feeling very bad since a while

[cozyparalian]

I‘m sick of myself.

We are still in contact. More precisely, we are in a relationship.

And I doubted the fact he likes me, the whole fuvking time. I cried. I cried so much. I even cried until now. I cried when I read the things I wrote on here. I was so desperate.

I am always thinking my life’s so unfair, but I never recognize the good things. Never. I never appreciate the positive things. I don’t know the worth of the person I am. I feel like I don’t have one.

I am always scared of everything and I cannot stand myself for that. I am ashamed for who I am. I hate it. I hate myself.

He’s so nice to me.

He looks at me, while his eyes are filled with love and sparkles. He told me that he likes to admire me. He strokes my hair and hugs me immediately when he sees me. He hugs me so tight that it hurts. He likes the smell of my hair. He told his whole family who I am. He wants me to get to know them. He doesn’t care how I look.

None of the things makes any sense to me.

But I want them to.

That’s why I am writing it down.

To remember my worth and that people like me for who I am.

[cozyparalian]

I like him and I want to get to know him. Maybe I could, because he responds to my signs and gives me a slight feeling of attention. Maybe in his way it’s not slightly, but I am to dump to recognize.

I am scared it will remain as unspoken love.

Unsere Wege trenne sich. Es bleibt bei der Sommer liebe. Den betrunkenen Sommernächten.

Dem Tanz. Danach ist er weg. Und ich bin es genau so. Vielleicht für immer. Ohne dass einer von uns beiden es versucht hat. Oder dass einer von uns beiden die Eier dafür gehabt hat.

Vielleicht zieht er weg. Vielleicht ziehe ich weg. Ich werde ihn nie wieder sehen. Oder ich werde ihn sehen weil wir hier bleiben und wir werden nicht miteinander reden.

Ich weiß es nicht.

Und diese Ungewissheit macht mir Angst. Ich könnte heulen.

[cozyparalian]

He held my hand. He hugged me. He looked at me. He touched me gently. He stroked my hair. He complimented my hands. I laid in his arms. He smelled my hair. He kissed me.

But he was drunk every single time.

[cozyparalian]

I like him.

Does he like me?

I am insecure.

No, he likes me!

I am scared.

He is not a guy who loves someone.

He’s not serious at all.

But it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

Suddenly I don’t want it anymore.

What’s wrong?

I do not understand.

I don’t feel good.

I cant sleep.

My tummy hurts.

I feel sick.

Maybe it’s Love.

No.

Fear.

[cozyparalian]

I Love him.

[cozyparalian]

Can anyone pls tell me, everything will be alright?

#someone help