There's like emotional aftercare right and most people who do aftercare- this is what they think about right?
Emotional aftercare is extremely important but you Need to make sure your partner is physically taken care of afterwards as well!
I see a lot of doms talking about aftercare but not mentioning anything more than a shower or bath as far as taking care of their partner physically afterwards.
You need to make sure they go pee right after a scene!
For impact play if they're bruising, inflamed, or raw afterwards put ointment on it Before you put lotion on it. If their skin's just a bit red it's okay to just put lotion on.
For bondage, you need to make sure you put ointment on rope burns and massage out the joints and muscles that have been trapped in place for the past hour.
Sometimes your partner is too drained for a shower in which it's Your job to clean them up! Get a damp warm wash cloth and make sure their all clean.
If your partner has a chronic illness you need to make sure their getting the right care for that afterwards!
The point is, take care of your partner after a scene
If you're holding back on being masc because you think you need to be a skinny white man to pass, give that the fuck up. Be big if you're big, be brown if you're brown, be assertive, take up space, be whatever the fuck kind of man/masc you are and stop waiting. Stop trying to diminish your power out of fear.