coffeexxwitch

[coffeexxwitch]

retail jobs are like, we don't think you deserve a livable wage also we are not paying for your lunch break and we're going to schedule you for 39.9 hours therefore you don't get to have benefits, also kill yourself

[coffeexxwitch]

i deleted my blog and tumblr immediately asked me if i want to sign up again

[coffeexxwitch]

[coffeexxwitch]

never gonna stop thinking abt how i drunkenly stumbled over to this 40/50 year old butch lesbian at a gay bar and said “you’re everything i want to be” only for her to give me the warmest hug i’ve ever received in my life and tell me that was the best compliment she’s ever received.

[coffeexxwitch]

just came to a really bad realization. He's kind of me like i think i might get him. i think i get him

[coffeexxwitch]

it's dawned on me that no one can stop me from my childhood dream of having a bed tent

[coffeexxwitch]

Ruby Commey as Germania in Rammstein’s Deutschland

[coffeexxwitch]

remember when you used to be able to play snake with the… hold on what’s it called

hmm. don’t think i’ll be calling it that. anyways i was gonna say remember when you could play snake with the buffering circle on youtube but. now i have other concerns

[coffeexxwitch]

boss texted me "i appreciate you staying out of the drama in the office"

i literally have no idea what she's talking about

[coffeexxwitch]

NASA advertising "do you want to be an astronaut" to tumblr users surely means something. What have you found out there, NASA? What have you found that you believe tumblr users, specifically, are best equipped to handle?

[coffeexxwitch]

group chats with people who aren't your friends are so stressful every time i send a message i have to triple check it to make sure it was what i meant something normal like "yea i can make the dinner" or "that's so funny" and not an accidental misstext like an itemized list with links of all the porn ive consumed in my entire life + a suicide note + a love confession

[coffeexxwitch]

I'm technically a prophet but the prophecies are presented to me in a language I can neither speak nor fundamentally fathom. so I just circle back to basically being normal

[coffeexxwitch]

Oh no, the rice I consumed greedily and the water I chugged gluttonously are combining in my stomach in the most regretful way...

[coffeexxwitch]

it used to be 2007 you know

[coffeexxwitch]

Public speaking is actually really easy if you don't respect a single soul in that room. I've had an incredibly easy time delivering speeches when I hated everybody I saw and they all thought I did amazing because my disdain was read as confidence. I don't have any tips for you I'm just telling you a fact

[coffeexxwitch]

new and magnificent beasts will arise from the muck. trust me on this one

[coffeexxwitch]

guys give me your most controversial opinion!!! :D