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for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

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I have three modes of reading

Dont read

Read a 500 page book in a day

Read only fanfiction until my eyeballs drop out of my skull from exhaustion

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excitedly waiting for this

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imagine what the shitposting game in the amish country is like

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Meanwhile, in Arkansas...

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i'm not a shoplifter but i believe in their beliefs

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5 simple exercises to awaken dormant muscles

{source}

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we are gathered here today…..because it’s monday and none of us actually want to work so we choose to browse tumblr instead and live in denial to the fact that it’s actually monday

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I have been going to the national archives about once or twice a season for the last two years, and there’s never once been a chair near this sign

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I work at a restaurant and nothing will ever beat the time this woman threw an absolute hissy fit at brunch because we ran out of home fries and all we had were french fries, she yelled at me, she demanded to speak to my manager, and when she’s in the middle of complaining, my manager just stopped her and went “hey do you want a hug?” and this woman went “what?” and my manager was like “you just seem super upset about the shape of these potatoes and I thought maybe you needed a hug” fucking hysterical, I got to watch a human blue screen in real life, absolutely the best way to shame someone for their nonsense I’ve ever seen

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I'm so fucking productive. I got so much shit done today.

ⓘ Fact check: This user did the bare minimum for the first time in 3 months.

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"a joy to have in class" aka This Child Will Not Be Diagnosed for at least Eight Years