cjardiml

[cjardiml]

Please tell me I’m not the only one?

[cjardiml]

Missing you

Ryan McMahon × fem!reader

Summary: You're missing Ryan while he's on tour and just want him around you.

Kinda inspired by Fever Dream by Sabrina Carpenter

TW: fem!reader, 2nd POV, feelings of loneliness, delusion, imagination, missing someone, imagining someone is there when they aren't (?), sadness

Wordcount: 599

God, I love this boy.

Masterlist

It felt so real. The dream you woke up to was now nothing but memory. You could still feel his arms around you like he was really there, but he wasn’t. You were proud of him and the band, that they got more recognition now made you really happy. They got all that they deserved. Of course you wouldn’t be jealous over something so silly. But sometimes you just missed him. With Ryan away, who was there to comfort you? Who would hold you at night when you got stuck in your mind again?

So instead of calling him and bugging him with your problems, you were crawling deeper into your mind. It wasn’t healthy, falling asleep with an illusion in your head, but nobody could blame you, right? You were just a silly girl with silly thoughts.

In your dreams, he haunted you. His smile and his laughter began to make themselves comfortable in your imagination. You saw him, but he wasn’t really there. Tour kept him busy and away from you. There was no possible way that something would happen on the road, something that would make him reconsider you as a lover. But you couldn’t stop wondering how you would react if it did. Ryan was too sweet to do you harm, but he was also too far away to assure you that he something like this wouldn’t happen.

The phone beside you lit up, illuminating the night with light. Your light in the dark.

“Hey,” you answered Ryan’s call. He called you every night before and after every show.

“Hey,” he sounds back. His voice was strained and tired.

A low thud was heard in the background and you imagined him falling on the bed in his hotel room, closing his eyes and imaging you.

“How are you?” Your voice wasn’t brighter than his. You both were tired. Whether it be from the action or the distance, it could be both.

“Alright.” His answers were short. Shorter than ever before.

“Are you sure?” It concerned you. Normally, Ryan would tell you about everything that happened that night no matter how tired he was.

He let out a sigh on the other end of the line, his breath was muffled as he moved his hand over his face in a act of desperation. “I just miss you,” he whispered. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be heard, but when you were side by side, he would always whisper to you. After you mentioned that you liked the low rasp his voice became when he did it, he did it more often. Just to see the red forming on your cheeks and the small smile covering your face.

“I miss you too,” you whisper back.

You two just kept on the phone for a bit, listening to the other breath, wondering what would be appropriate to say in this moment. If you should say anything at all.

In the end, neither said a word.

His arms held you tight around your waist, his nose nuzzled in the crock of your neck. You felt him breath against your skin and felt at ease.

You only opened your eyes again when you heard Ryan’s slow breath over the phone, signaling that he fell asleep. Your vision fated when tears swallowed your eyes. He wasn’t there. He couldn’t comfort you.

Before waking him up, you hung up the phone and turned around in your bed. Closing your eyes, you tried to make him appear again. If he couldn’t really be there, you would make him appear imaginary.

[cjardiml]

★ FIRST AVENUE, MN

☆☆☆prettiest wall i’ve ever seen

[cjardiml]

Euforia é Loucura - Autoral

Nos gritos da alma, a euforia dança, Loucura que inebria, que nos lança Em um turbilhão de sensações, Que nos eleva a novas emoções.

Euforia é loucura, loucura é paixão, Nessa dança frenética, perdemos a razão. Corações batem em compasso acelerado, No prazer do amor, no prazer descontrolado.

Somos feitos de melodias enlouquecidas, De acordes intensos e rimas coloridas.

Carol jl. 2024.04.02

[cjardiml]

Esperando Pelo Seu Amor - Autoral

Em meio ao silêncio da noite estrelada, Permaneço, ansioso, na espera aguardada, Pela chegada do seu amor, tão sonhado, Que como brisa suave, tem me afagado.

Espero, paciente, pelo encontro marcado, Onde nossos destinos se encontrarão entrelaçados, E juntos, caminharemos rumo à eternidade, Num amor que transcende toda e qualquer realidade.

Assim, enquanto a lua cintila lá no alto, Persisto aguardando, neste doce e terno assalto, Pois sei que quando enfim você chegar, Minha espera terá valido a pena, sem hesitar.

Carol jl. 2024.04.02

[cjardiml]

CHALLENGE

using the Saxon's character on picrew and make it look like you <3

@effervescent-lesbian @babyqueenfangirl @radiosilencedtori @jinxdragons @touloserrrr @radio-silence-fan @blonde-tori-spring555

#picrew

[cjardiml]

📷 Are you named after anyone?

my name was chosen in honor of my great-grandmother or something like that

📷 When's the last time you cried?

when I watched the last ep of yr

📷 Do you have kids?

nop

📷 Do you play sports?

yes, I have been playing volleyball for around a year

📷 Do you like sarcasm ?

yess

📷 What do you notice about people when you meet them?

the person’s style and personality

📷 What's your eye color?

honey

📷 Scary movies or happy endings

both

📷 Any talents?

I know how to draw and play some instruments

📷 Where were you born?

Brazil

📷 What are your hobbies?

read, draw, listen to music, watch TV programs

📷 Any pets?

a cat

📷 How tall are you?

4′ 11″

📷 What's your favorite school subject?

Art

📷 What's your dream job?

I think a book writer or illustrator

Thank you for the tag @likedovesinthewnd ILY! 🤗

❤︎ are you named after anyone?

Technically yes, but it's more complicated than that.

❤︎ when was the last time you cried?

Shit, probably like Monday?

❤︎ do you have kids?

I'd be a terrible parent

❤︎ do you play/have you played any sports?

My parents weren't the type to actually support any extracurriculars so I never bothered. But I also don't really care about any sport.

❤︎ do you like sarcasm?

It's funny sometimes, but I prefer directness

❤︎ what do you notice about people when you meet them?

Usually the first thing I pay attention to is speech patterns and how much they force eye contact on me.

❤︎ what’s your eye color?

blueish greenish?

❤︎ scary movies or happy endings?

I can't really do scary movies

❤︎ any talents?

Not really tbh

❤︎ where were you born?

On planet Earth, which is as close as I'll get to revealing my geographic location

❤︎ what are your hobbies?

Cooking, baking, knitting, planning projects that I'll never finish.

❤︎ any pets?

The family dog, Sookie, lives with my parents because my condo isn't suited to her high-maintenance lifestyle.

❤︎ how tall are you?

Like 5'6''

❤︎ what are your favorite school subjects?

English and creative writing

❤︎ what’s your dream job?

I dream of a role within a community, not a job. Ideally, I'd be able to use my existing skills to improve my community rather than making a few rich people even richer.

No pressure tags: @starksbabie @stqrgirl3 @celestialserenity24 @corrodedcorpses @elvirasleftnipple and anyone who sees this and wants to.

[cjardiml]

“Maybe you are a manically depressed psychopath.”

[cjardiml]

i love Anna, but Marnie is my favorite

New Tag!!!!

tell me yours... favorite song: Favorite TV show: favorite artist: book you like: book you hate: And a character you identify with: hope you like it :)

@babyqueenfangirl @jinxdragons @ellslvr @living-my-ghibli-dream @effervescent-lesbian @imnotactuallyoklol @touloserrrr @radio-silence-fan @radiosilenced @tori0704 @the-stars-are-ineffable @radio-silence-fan @theshyqueergirl @toulouserradiosilence @arrowace6262 @mybedroomceilingsbored @cavetownismyboi @

[cjardiml]

Favorite song: Boys Will Be Bugs

Favorite TV show: Heartstopper

Favorite artist: Girl in red, Cavetown and Chloe Moriondo

Book I love: Hearstopper 2

Book I hate: The little Prince

Character I identify with: Charlie Spring

New Tag!!!!

tell me yours... favorite song: Favorite TV show: favorite artist: book you like: book you hate: And a character you identify with: hope you like it :)

@babyqueenfangirl @jinxdragons @ellslvr @living-my-ghibli-dream @effervescent-lesbian @imnotactuallyoklol @touloserrrr @radio-silence-fan @radiosilenced @tori0704 @the-stars-are-ineffable @radio-silence-fan @theshyqueergirl @toulouserradiosilence @arrowace6262 @mybedroomceilingsbored @cavetownismyboi @

[cjardiml]

New Tag!!!!

tell me yours... favorite song: Favorite TV show: favorite artist: book you like: book you hate: And a character you identify with: hope you like it :)

@babyqueenfangirl @jinxdragons @ellslvr @living-my-ghibli-dream @effervescent-lesbian @imnotactuallyoklol @touloserrrr @radio-silence-fan @radiosilenced @tori0704 @the-stars-are-ineffable @radio-silence-fan @theshyqueergirl @toulouserradiosilence @arrowace6262 @mybedroomceilingsbored @cavetownismyboi @

[cjardiml]

im in love with your music taste 😍

im too, and i love studio ghibli!!

[cjardiml]

1- Boys Will Be Bugs - Cavetown

2- Mary On A Cross - Ghost

3- Juliet - Cavetown

4- Mirrorball - Taylor Swift

Bonus:

5- Space Song - Beach House

@babyqueenfangirl @jinxdragons @radio-silence-fan @blonde-tori-spring555 @ucanbanything

Tagged by @icepickparty, thank you beloved Käärijä mutual! 💚🫶

Name 4 songs that you consider YOURS. Songs that no one else understands like you. Songs that they can try to pry from your cold dead hands:

"Mein Teil" by Rammstein <33 My genuine fav song of all time

"Life Eternal" by Mayhem

"Forced Gender Reassignment" by Cattle Decapitation

"Killing For Company" by Swans

Tagging @codedreams, @maddymoreau, @mnikhowozu, @a-wolf-in-bat-wings, @hongzhizhu, @xxs4d-b4st4rdxx and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it <3

[cjardiml]

@radio-silence-fan @babyqueenfangirl @tori0704 @imnotactuallyoklol @effervescent-lesbian @jinxdragons

starting a picrew chain bc i found one that has tons of options for outfits and such

here is the link

so here’s a biblically accurate atlas for you folks

fun fact i have this exact outfit ^_^

no pressure tags: @gently-decaying-flowers @tellme-o-muse @gayoticbeing @xgirlidiotx @trying-to-be-cool-abt-it @bassguitarinablackt-shirt @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @astraeasparrow @fakevariety @mack-anthology-mp3 @my-cages-were-mental and anyone else who’d like to!!

[cjardiml]

@babyqueenfangirl @radio-silence-fan @effervescent-lesbian @nuttybreadgarden @jinxdragons @mybedroomceilingsbored @touloserrrrserr @imnotactuallyoklol @teenytiny-ant @blonde-tori-spring555

Challenge >:3

using this picrew make it look like you :D

no magical color eyes

Make it look as much like you as possible

you can do whatever with the background and stuff tho

Tagging: @ranboothesillyartist @raccoon-in-a-dumpster @i-ate-your-children @anonymouscringe @spideygal @seagull-dustin @sotogalmo @maecraft @i-like-cats-and-stars36 @ascendeddd @astertheabbs

@deadpuppetboi @connectionterminated13

[cjardiml]

que poesia linda

yasmim

eu e essa minha mania de fazer tudo virar poesia essa sua boca que vicia esse toque que me arrepia seu busto, minha calmaria

minha língua, do seu amor, nunca havia provado ainda te encontro em galerias mesmo que essa arte seja só minha

escrevo, transcrevo e te beijo pinto, limpo, te suspiro apago, amasso o nosso passado

você me escuta não julga, vem cá e me

até os atos mais sujos tu faz soar como cenas de filmes me satisfaz, vem ser minha paz

para onde foi toda a minha timidez enquanto você falava de nudez?

te beijei pela primeira vez as três da tarde, demorei fui covarde pensei que era estupidez

mas por você aprenderia francês roubaria um inglês cantaria sem sensatez

eterna admiradora dos seus sinais quero que seja só pra mim você em si em cima de mim seja pra mim, é o que quero de ti, yasmim

[cjardiml]

i wanna start a tag game.

show me your search history. do it.

npt: @imnotactuallyoklol @nickbutnodick @rorythinks @blonde-tori-spring555 @half-eaten-baguetteee and anyone else !!!