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#Pearnold

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i should have seen the warning signs in high school. they were always telling me “you’re soo skinny! and i’m sooo fat.” except they used the ayurvedic system of doshas (vata, pitta, kapha) to say it, and it had circles like the enneagram so i kind of believed them.

they liked john green but i never ended up reading any of his books bc whenever my friend described them, they always sounded kind of boring. one time i found a copy of the pale king on their floor and started reading it and fell in love with dead old dfw right there. But when i learned that he didn’t finish writing the book, i went to the library and checked out infinite jest instead and that’s how i became insufferable.

i really really want to meet someone who Gets It

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in high school me and a friend agreed there was something called “Getting It” that some people did and others didn’t. We never really decided what “it” was, but we had ideas about which people and which writers also shared this unverbalized understanding.

Then later on in college my friend got a really bad eating disorder and like one of those illness/allergy type things like my aunt has where nobody is ever quite sure if it’s psychosomatic? Which is kind of also how i feel every time i’m sick ever.

Anyway they became a vegan activist and dumped lobsters back in the ocean (or did they just show me a video of other people doing that?) while i joined JVP to go yell at israeli diplomats and state representatives. i assume we are both communists and stuff now but we haven’t talked in years so who knows. The last time i heard from them they were a social worker, but that’s like the most burnout-inducing job on earth, so i kinda assume they’re not doing that anymore.

i really really want to meet someone who Gets It

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oh weird, i deliberately avoided picking “viscera in a baby crib” bc i figured it would be the most popular by a long shot. Who the hell is answering this quiz then?!

no "other/see results" option bc JUST CHOOSE ONE

YOU TOO, GENDER-CONFORMERS,

EVERYONE!

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Roasted chicken, ginger, daikon, shiitake mushroom soup with lime, cilantro, broccoli sprouts, and rice noodles

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I think the biggest downside to having animal ears and a tail would be trying to mask your discomfort in public like imagine trying to play it cool in customer service but your tail keeps bristling

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"Toxic Yuri" would be a beautiful name for a heavily tattooed Russian bouncer

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I love jaywalking with strangers. They can’t kill all of us!!!

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Someone asking you a question instead of googling it is not because they don't respect your time. It is because we are hardwired to ask questions when in conversation with another human instead of just immediately whipping out google. It is also assumed that if a question is wasting your time, that you will simply ignore it, the user is normally not under the impression that they are somehow forcing you to drop everything to answer them.

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fishing was originally an activity where you showed your pet worm the beautiful world

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As for me I would like to try some of the “Bull Yoghurt” if ya sniff my drift ;)

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the etsy seller says he knows i'm buying the authentic soviet greatcoat for sex reasons and he won't approve the transaction until i name engels' twelve proletarian measures against private property

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tragedy enjoyers when a character perpetuates the cycle of violence they themselves were a victim of

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taking a jackhammer to the part of my brain that’s won’t stop yammering “cathedrals everywhere! Cathedrals everywhere!!” like a macaw who is living with dementia

To The Substitute Art Teacher - Jordan Bolton

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i just have a grammar question which is that i’m really surprised to see “thee is losing all thy feminine traits” here??

Wouldn’t “thou art losing all thy..” be standard? Or was there an intermediate time when ppl said “thee is” ?? What’s going on here? (is it possible that this reported speech is inaccurate from what the quoted father actually said?)

this is from a real diary by a 13-year-old girl in 1870. teenage girls are awesome and they’ve always been that way.

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i'm literally the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb because i am so docile and sweet and i hold very still when they put the rope around my neck and i trot along so happily while they lead me to the altar and they do not even have to tie me down because i lie so very still and only bleat once or twice in my lovely lamb voice and when the knife comes down it cuts through me like butter and i offer no resistance and i bleed so prettily all over my new white wool and my guts all unspool like the most beautiful shining yarn and my eyes are animal and dumb and hold no accusation and every time i die i come right back as another little lamb because the priest loves me so so much and he always chooses me for the sacrifice every time and he always places one hand on my small and twitching nose to calm me while he lifts the knife and he doesn't do it for the other lambs only me because i'm his favorite

#what tags do i put on grindr to get a Hot Priest (italian best but any will do) to perform this on me

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two new richard siken poems today, in the harvard advocate:

bed

fear

#oh to get topped by the speaker of the second poem #🥺 #😳🥵