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christinaerica · 7 years

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My Adoption Story

As soon as I was old enough to know what adoption was, my parents told me I was adopted. I believe the conversation actually started by me asking my parents why they didn’t have newborn pictures of me in the hospital when I was just born like many of my friends had showed me.. for what reason I have no idea but I remember wondering where my cute/gross newborn pictures were.

I can’t say I remember the conversation, being as it was at least 18 years ago now, but I do remember it didn’t upset me. I knew my parents were the ones who raised me so I never thought of considering anyone else my mother and father at the time. I think my biggest concern back then was if I had any brothers or sisters since I was an only child as far as I knew, but that’s as far as the conversation went when they told me for the most part that I remember. My mother was very strict, and very uneasy about having to tell me this since we fought all the time and I think she feared me finding this out would somehow lead to her losing me.

As I got older, more questions came up and I would periodically ask things that would worry my mother, but my father always understood my curiosity. I was told the reason I was given up was only because my birthmother was 15 when she had me, which I understood immediately because I couldn’t imagine the hardships that go along with raising a child when you yourself are still somewhat a child. I knew deep down in my gut she must have only given me away to give me the life she didn’t think she could. And that’s how I always felt, nothing ever changed that feeling.

Included in my adoption folder that my parent’s had was a short 2 page insert on my birth mother and father. I can’t summarize what it said accurately without including the entire thing, so I will attach it. But what I learned from that paper was that she was a genuine person with a large loving Italian family, and that always felt so warm to think of if I ever could find her.

Mid-December 2016

I was made aware of NJ’s adoption laws changing and now adopted children who were put up for adoption before 2015 would have the chance to obtain a copy of their original birth certificate with their birth mother and birth father’s names listed on the birth certificate. This was surreal to even think about having access to to me since I had always been curious of my birth parent’s. I filled out the paperwork required and sent it in, praying that my birth parents did not fill out the form retracting their names from the birth certificate (which was an option until December 31, 2016).

January 29, 2017

I received a letter in the mail from the State of New Jersey. I remember the second I saw that letter the adrenaline rushing through me as I opened it, as if I was going to open the letter and know the names somehow already and like it would be easy to find them and reunite. Either way, I knew this was a HUGE step and either the beginning of a new chapter of my life, or the closure that I had wondered I would get if they did not want to meet me.

My name given at birth was Tonia (Tone-ee-ya, like Antonia) Elisabeth DePalma. My mother’s name was Elisabeth DePalma and my father’s name was Anthony Broglio. Was I named after my father, Tony? To me that was a sign I was not a “one-night stand” child, and even that was exciting to me.

Working as a Private Investigator I am lucky enough to have access to databases that were able to assist me in finding my birthmother’s address and possible work location. Before using these databases, I immediately turned to Facebook to try and find her since I was dying to see pictures. I found her name on Facebook and the location listed as Boynton Beach, Florida. Unsure if this was her because of the location, I used the database and found out she had originally lived in New Jersey, which my birth certificate stated, and had moved to Florida since. This was her. There was only one picture of her with sunglasses on but she was pictured with a man whose name was Dennis, so this confirmed that my birthparent’s were no longer together, but that was expected since they were in high school when I was born.

I tried to search my biological father on Facebook curious as to what he looked like but I was unable to find any pictures for the name, so I moved back to the topic of my birth mother. I searched all around her Facebook friends, finding what I assumed was my 2 uncles, some cousins, and my maternal grandparents. This was all so exciting to me, but there was no way of knowing for sure what I was finding was actually correct since there was no solid post saying “Hi, I’m Elisabeth- these are my parents, my two brothers, and my niece and nephews”. So I decided I had to settle the curiosity and attempt to reach out.

Our databases we use are usually up to date and accurate with addresses but I wouldn’t depend on it 100% for something like this. If I was going to send a letter to my biological mother, I wanted to know for sure it was getting to the correct party because putting that much emotion into a letter that could go to the wrong address and be discarded and have me never knowing if it was received was too scary. I decided right then and there I was going to reach out right on Facebook, which might sound crazy to some people, but it was one way of knowing if she had read it and chose to ignore. I sent her a friend request along with a message, a kind of message that I knew if she had read and she had a heart she would respond to. The message was as follows:

Dear Elisabeth,

Hi, my name is Christina and I was born at Wayne General Hospital on November 14, 1989. I was placed for adoption through Catholic Charities and adopted officially in December 1989. The name given to me at birth was Tonia Elisabeth De Palma. My adopted name is Christina Erica Dellanno and I grew up in Somerset, New Jersey.

I am writing to say that I have always known I was adopted and have wanted for many years to meet and get to know you. I hope that you aren't uncomfortable with me reaching out, and I want you to know I completely understand if you did not plan on ever hearing from me since it was a closed adoption so I know this may take time to process. I don't know if Facebook is the best way to go about this and I honestly don't know where to even go from here, but I had to try to reach out to you after wanting to meet you for as long as I can remember. I don't know who else knows about me so I did not reach out to any other family members before contacting you.

I hope to hear from you if/when you are ready. I am open to whatever form of communication you are comfortable with. My phone number is — and my e-mail is --- if you are more comfortable e-mailing or calling instead of responding through here. I was not given any information other than your name so this is why I used Facebook.

I am more than excited to hear from you.

With love,

Christina Erica Dellanno

---

I had included in the message that I would understand if it took her time to process and that she might not want to have contact, which was me trying not to freak her out but also made me second guess whether she may have somehow read the message even though it was showing up as unread and chose to not respond. But it wasn’t solid enough evidence. At this point I needed to know for sure, I had gotten too excited with finding her social media and seeing so much of my biological family I had to see her in person myself.

Coworkers offered to reach out to their contacts in Florida, which I very much appreciated but just didn’t settle my curiosity. I had to do this myself because I just wanted to see her in person, pictures from a coworker wouldn’t satisfy this urge.

February 16, 2017

I booked my flight to Fort Lauderdale, Florida (less than an hour from Boynton Beach) which would depart in 2 weeks.

March 1, 2017

My flight landed into Fort Lauderdale International at 8:30am. I had a rental car reserved, and I immediately picked it up and was on my way.

I had planned on running this as a surveillance, so I knew I needed a car with at least the back windows tinted. When I requested the tinted windows, the woman at the desk looked at me like I was asking too much. Due to their lack of tinted inventory, my selection was narrowed down to a RED Jeep with Missouri plates. Working as a Private Investigator you learn you need to blend in as much as possible, so a red car with out of state plates is probably one of the worst options you can choose, but I wasn’t about to tell the poor lady at the desk that the only tinted vehicle they had wasn’t good enough, nor was I about to rent a minivan when I was traveling alone in the beautiful Southern Florida.. (no offense mini-van lovers)

I knew that since it was past the time that many people leave for work already, that this day was shot as a surveillance day and it would be a waste to sit outside this house all day when it was 85 and sunny, plus coming from New Jersey I was itching to just soak in the beautiful warm water. So I took a friends advice and drove down to the keys, to which I had never been. Spending the day enjoying the weather and learning how beautiful the Florida Keys were helped calm down my excitement/anxiety about why I was actually here.

I left the keys and checked into my Hotel located in Pompano Beach, Florida (about 30 min from the address in Boynton Beach). By 7pm the curiosity was killing me and I decided I would go to the address to see what cars were there so that I would know if I missed a car when I got there in the morning.

When I arrived at the address there was a lime green Kia Soul parked in the center of the driveway, blocking the 2-car (one door) garage. I thought to myself at how this must mean she has a fun outgoing personality if that is her vehicle at least, and I headed back to the hotel.

March 2, 2017

7am

I arrived at the address, thanks to the wonderful southern Florida traffic on 95. I wasn’t worried though, maybe I was too confident to think this but I just assumed she wouldn’t leave for work before 7am. Who is fun enough to drive a lime green car but is willing to wake up before, like, 6am? I know, not a safe assumption. To my surprise, the lime green Kia was gone. Normally, in this situation I would still sit somewhere on the street because there was a chance there was a vehicle or two still in the garage so I could still catch her, but for some reason I got this feeling that the Kia was hers and I would be wasting my day sitting outside this house and freaking out her neighbors for nothing. I had her last work address so I decided I would try there and look for the green Kia.

10am

I arrived at the work address, and the Kia was nowhere to be found. At this point I decided I would just go to the beach for a few hours until around 2 so I could hopefully catch the Kia returning from work.

4pm

Thanks to traffic, and just always taking forever to get my shit together, I arrived after the Kia returned. I sat on the street for awhile hoping to see someone pop out for some reason.

Luckily for me, my grandfather, who I recognized from my Facebook searched came outside to water the plants out front. Now I knew at least my grandparents lived here. I called a coworker and asked him what to do since this address might not be the correct one for my mother if her parents live here. He told me this was actually even better than my parents living here because my grandparents could smooth out the initial interaction or at least let me know how she would feel about meeting me, without me freaking her out myself.

5:30pm

After much convincing and a few tears from panic, I got the courage to get out of the car and ring the doorbell. As I approached the front door I heard a faint sound of plates and wondered if I was about to ruin their family dinner. I rang the doorbell and time froze. I heard the doorbell chime, the kind that plays the little song, and loudly enough for me to hear outside the front door, so I knew it worked. I waited for what seemed like 3 solid minutes, then rang again. I mean, if it is just my grandparents, maybe they are hard of hearing or just really slow at getting to the door. Still nothing. So I knocked, just incase the ringing chime was somehow in my head and it didn’t actually ring. This is when the panic hit me. I started tearing up because I was such a mix of emotions, mostly anxiety, but also just wondering (worst case scenario) if she had read this message, knew who I was, looked through the peephole, and decided she didn’t want to answer. So I turned away and left. I went back to the hotel and searched online everywhere to see if I could find any other possible address for her. Which I did, but it was a gated community so that was going to get me nowhere either.

March 3, 2017

630am

I arrived at the address, the Kia was gone again! What time did this person leave for work?! I thought I was the only one in Florida who left at 6am for something other than the airport, but apparently someone else left even earlier… and hopefully it wasn’t for the airport.

This time I decided I didn’t wake up that early to turn around and leave. So I parked on the street and sat there.

~8am

The garage door opened. Inside I see a grey Dodge SUV with dark tinted windows all around, and a woman’s arm sticking out of the driver’s side door.. like she was about to pull it closed to leave.

At this point, I had no idea if this was my grandmother or my mother, but I was going to follow her. The street that the address was on was a 4 lane major street, with 2 lanes going each way. Of course, she puts on her left blinker.. which means my chance of losing her immediately just doubled because I was not about to get right up on her before she even left her street. I waited for her to turn, and immediately pulled out. I got lucky and was able to make the left quickly after her.

Of course she decided to take back roads, not the highway. These back roads were the kind with stop lights every quarter mile. When you follow someone for surveillance on roads like that you have to stay pretty much up their ass because if they get a yellow you can’t afford to be stuck behind someone who stops when she continues going, and no way was I going to risk losing this woman at this point. So in my red Jeep with Missouri license plates I stayed right on this woman’s ass through every single stop light. At one point I started realizing she was going in the direction that the work address was located, so I put in that address knowing maybe I could find her in this vehicle there if I lost her.

We eventually got onto the highway luckily, but not for long. She took an exit for Hillsboro, Florida. She pulled into a parking lot for the Broward County Courthouse and I did get a little excited thinking we were in the same line of work possibly for a brief moment, that is, until she pulled out the exit before even parking. My heart sunk as I realized she must have noticed me tailing her and was just trying to lose me or confirm if I was tailing her when she pulled in here. So I pulled back out, further behind her but not too far to lose sight, and she pulled back in another entrance to the same lot, where she then parked. No way! So she wasn’t trying to lose me, she just couldn’t find parking on the one side and had to go around to get to the other side. This was so relieving until I saw her get out of the car and realized I was not at all prepared to approach her. I thought about it probably due to all the adrenaline but I couldn’t go and stop some woman who had no idea who I was as she was about to walk into a courthouse to tell her I’m her daughter. She looked exactly like I had pictured, she did look kind, she dressed cute, and she wore big sunglasses. After she entered the building I went back to the hotel to check out and make myself look more presentable than I originally had at 6am before I returned to the lot where I had last seen her.

11am

I returned to the courthouse and her car was gone. I was too quick to assume she worked here and wasn’t just here for something like paying a parking ticket or who knows what else. (I wasn’t thinking it was anything bad or serious at this point though, now that I had seen her in person I just knew she wasn’t a bad person.. call it a gut feeling).

My choices at this point were to go to the address that I saw my grandfather at, knowing she most likely wouldn’t be there but now would be another chance to try and talk to my grandparents when I knew she wasn’t home, or I could go to the work address I had for her hoping that Dodge would be there. Traffic going south was unbelievable so going to the work address would have taken an hour almost, at which point it would be lunchtime. I decided to go back to the address she lived at.

~11:30am

I arrive at the house and this time it seems much easier to just get out and knock, probably because I’m not sure if anyones even going to answer. But quickly after I ring the doorbell, a woman who I recognize from Facebook that must be my grandmother answers the door.

Me: Hi! Does Elisabeth DePalma live here?

Her: Yes, she does.. but she’s not here at the moment..

Me: Is she your daughter?

Her: Yes she is..

Me: I think I may be your granddaughter.. (thinking back to this-I’m so grateful I didn’t give this poor woman a heart attack or something by throwing that out there like that, but I wanted to cut to the chase in case she thought I was trying to sell her something)

Her jaw dropped, I forget if there were even words, but she hugged me and asked me to come inside.

I went inside and I felt like I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins as we walked into the house. I can’t even remember the exact conversation but it was along the lines of, “Oh my, we’ve been looking for you! Elisabeth is going to be so happy..”

We walked towards the kitchen where my grandfather was at the counter. My grandmother explained to him who I was and I saw a slight look of shock on his face as she opened his arms to hug me. I wish I could remember the conversations we were having but they were mostly all along the lines of how amazing this is and me saying “I know, I don’t know how this is supposed to go..” And she asked if I would like to sit while she called my mother, Elisabeth, who was at work.

The conversation went like this..

Grandmother: Elisabeth, hi.. are you on your way home?

Mother: what, no..why would I be?

Grandmother: There is somebody here who would like to see you..

Mother: what are you talking about..? who?

Grandmother: She’s 27 years old…she came here to meet you..

Mother: (after all the blood rushed from her face and she began to realize what my grandmother was trying to tell her) WHAT!? MOM ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

Grandmother: No I would not joke about something like this..

Mother: I’m on my way!

Apparently my mother was at the office (the address I had for her work) and everyone at work witnessed her go pale and she told them her daughter was here and they all knew that she had given a daughter up for adoption 27 year ago (or at least most of them) so they handed her a box of tissues as she rushed out the door.

As me and my grandmother waited for my mother to arrive, my grandmother gave me a tour of their house. My grandparents live in the first floor master bedroom, and my mother and her husband live upstairs in the loft area. My mother helps my grandparents with taking them to all their appointments because they do not drive (hence the only 2 vehicles). We talked about things my mother would later fill me in on more like what my mother did for work and such. My mothers husband leaves for work at 4am, in the green Kia. My mother works for a construction and architecture company based out of Fort Lauderdale but she is always on the road meeting clients signing leases. My birth mother and her husband live with my grandparents because my grandparent’s do not drive and they depend on my birth mother to help them, and drive them to their doctor’s appointments and healthcare.

Currently, my mother’s husband’s mother (who is straight from Portugal.. and really only speaks Portuguese) was living here in the guest bedroom because her husband had just passed away not long ago and she was here seeing doctors about a heart condition. My grandmother introduced me to her and Elisabeth’s friend, because she was unsure how to say it in Portuguese or if she even knew that Elisabeth had a daughter.

The moment my mother walked in was something I wish I had on camera because it was a moment I have dreamt about for as long as I can remember. She walked in through the garage door and just stopped standing in the hallway, eyes filled with tears as she looked at me. She froze, I froze, and neither of us knew how to take this all in.

She walked over to me still crying and hugging me, holding me out in front of her in amazement and she cried some more and I for the first time since I was 2 weeks old looked right into my birth mothers eyes. To me, we had very similar eyes. She told me I had my fathers eyes. I wasn’t going to argue, since I haven’t even seen him yet. She told me she had to show me something, and I followed her upstairs.

We walked into her bedroom and sat on the bed as she pulled forward a baby picture that was sitting right on her nightstand. I didn’t know what I looked like when I was a newborn really but I knew it was me. She told me every night before she went to bed she looked at that picture and always wondered if I was safe. She always questioned whether she made the right choice, even though I learned the choice was not really hers.

She told me not a day went by she didn’t think of me. This really got me. Even in my best case scenario thoughts, I never had imagined she still cared THIS much. She tells me to wait as she goes and gets a box where she has a bunch of pictures and things. As she opens the box I see love letters, and photographs. She tells me that her and my father dated for 4 years in high school. He was the football player and she was the cheerleader. She saved all these things, despite her feelings for my father, for me. She always wanted me to know that I was not a one night stand or anything less than a loved child.

She said when she found out she was pregnant she and my father ran away for a couple days to Point Pleasant. They had no money or plan but they knew they loved each other and would love this child. She also knew her mother, being a very strict Italian, may not feel that this was appropriate.

She said my grandmother (who I had just met and seemed like a lovely woman-and still is!) was very strict with her when she was growing up. When she was in high school she was not allowed to go to sleep overs or anything and always had to be back home at a specific time, no discussions about it. She said her grandmother who was straight from a tiny town in Italy lived with them at the time, and the part of Italy she was from was the kind where all the mothers and older ladies would sit on the front porch, or look out the window at all times, always watching what everyone else was doing. If someone came home late, the whole neighborhood knew and would have their judgements. This was so interesting to me, as I love hearing about culture. But I began to realize why things happened the way they did, and I understood completely.

Even if my mother would try to go see a movie with her 4-year-long boyfriend, my grandmother would tell her she was only allowed to go if other people went. They followed the Catholic faith and were very strict, hey I get it.. my mother now was actually the same exact way as my biological grandmother was to her growing up.. which blows my mind still.

When my mother was about 6.5 months pregnant, both my maternal and paternal grandmothers got together and told my mother they were all going to go to the doctor together. Until this point, my mother kept it hidden. She said she was very skinny but this was back in the day when big pants and baggy clothes were in so she was able to hide it pretty easily… until this appointment. When the doctor came out with her results, he said “did you know you’re 7 months pregnant!??!?” and that’s when my grandmothers shock kicked in.

My grandmother sent my mother to a home for unwed mothers where she would carry out the remainder of her pregnancy so that the whole neighborhood and school wouldn’t find out. My mother said this was silly, because they weren’t stupid.. they knew what was going on especially when she came back months later chubby.. but she had no say in it.

At some point, before we even got to half of the conversation I just mentioned she got her car keys and told me to come with her, so I did. We went to this adorable place on the water called Old Key Lime. We sat with a view of the water and talked about all of these things we had always wondered about one another.

My birth mother was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at age 30. She apologized when I told her I had it also and was diagnosed at age 12, and she said she has no idea where it even came from because she was the first in her family with Type 1. My birth mother told me I was the only child she was able to have. She has been married for 12 years and has been trying to get pregnant for much of that time, and was never successful. She was told due to the PCOS, she was lucky to be able to have 1 child. I was her one child, and she said there hasn’t been a day she hasn’t regretted giving me away because of that. She beats herself up knowing I was her only chance and she gave up that opportunity, even though it was not her choice to do so.

Especially because of all of this she has been looking for me since the day I turned 18. When I was younger she asked the agency I was adopted to to request my mother to send her pictures of me growing up, of which my mother never told me and which she only did once when I was first adopted. This is a huge deal to me since if I had known this I would have known that my birth mother clearly did want to hear from me and cared about my well-being. She said by time I turned 18, she was hoping for something. Little did she know, I too was looking but Catholic Charities would never give me any information when I requested it. She said every year that passed after I turned 18, her hope in finding me lessened to the point she really was starting to think as of late that I had no interest in meeting her. We both blame this on the agency, who we both notified to please give the other party our information if it was ever requested, and which they denied to both of us when we had requested it.

If it weren’t for New Jersey’s open adoption records being passed, it’s unlikely I would have ever been given this information and may have never been able to find my birth mother.

About an hour into us sitting at this restaurant, my birth mother’s husband came. He walked up to the table and gave me a warm welcoming hug. He was so genuinely excited to meet me, which made me feel so comforted. I didn’t know what to expect at first, since why should this guy care who I am? But it mattered to him, a lot. He said to me, “Listen, I know I am nothing to you, but I just want you to know you already mean so much to me. You have been such a huge part of my life because you have been such a huge part of Elisabeth’s life… and I have dreamt of this day too. I have told Elisabeth this day would happen and I never let her lose hope. I just wish more than anything I could have been there when you guys first met..” and that’s when I got choked up but reassured him he didn’t miss anything, just lots of tears.

My birth mother went on telling me about what’s important to her and how she LOVES Christmas. She showed me pictures of her house decorated for Christmas and how she has like 30 bins of decorations because Christmas is her thing. Anyone who knows me knows I want to love Christmas, and I try to, but Christmas was always hard for me because I felt like something was missing. My parents don’t care much for celebrating holidays and Christmas at my house is often just like any other day. If it weren’t for me fighting to keep the Christmas Tree, we wouldn’t even have that. I have always loved the idea of Christmas but to me it always just seemed empty. I always wanted to be a part of a big family who loved the holiday, and although I have a great family.. holidays were never fully what I imagined they could be when I see some of my friends family holiday gatherings.

When she showed me all these pictures, I got this overwhelming warm feeling knowing that was exactly what I was always hoping to have. That was what I had always pictured Christmas to be, and what I thought I would never have unless I married into a big family or eventually had one of my own.

I told her this, I told her how I had always wished for that type of Christmas and how I have always wanted a big(ger) holiday loving Italian family. She told me “You have been loved before you even knew it. I never stopped loving or thinking of you. I have always wished you could be a part of this family, and if a(nother) big loving family is what you were looking for, you are in the right place."

When my birth mother found out I was scheduled to leave in a few hours right after I had met her, she almost started crying again. I felt so bad and I didn’t want to leave either so I almost let her pay for my flight change to leave another day like she had begged to let her do, but then things started sinking in a little. Mostly the exhaustion, and overwhelming feeling of 27 years looking for someone who was now sitting right in front of me.. it was almost too much. I am more than grateful to have found her but I went on the journey alone and texting friends about it wasn’t relieving all the built up anxiety I had from the trip and experience. I didn’t want to leave her at all, and I didn’t need to right then.

My flight got delayed and it gave me an extra hour. If that didn’t happen, I would have had to have changed it at that point since it was already rush hour.. but I almost saw the flight being delayed as a sign that I needed to make this flight. My parents kept calling me repeatedly as I was sitting at this restaurant with my birth mother and I felt like I needed to tell them in person what was going on. I felt like if I made up some bs excuse and lied about why I wasn’t coming home they would have not felt as good about my birth mother. I wanted to tell them about how genuine, caring, warm, and wonderful of a person this woman who gave birth to me was and I wanted them to want to meet her. I didn’t want their first impression of her to be that she made me miss my flight, as dumb as that may seem, it’s just the way I thought would be best. So I told her I would be back, I just had to go home to tell my parents the news in person.

My birth mother and her husband, (Elisabeth or Liz, and Dennis), both understood and insisted on driving with me to the airport. We went back to the house, got my rental car, and headed to the airport. Dennis had to drive separately so they would have a ride back and he got stuck in traffic that I just missed so when we got to the airport it was just me and Liz. She hugged me goodbye as I went to get in the security line and said “I love you” to which I responded “I love you too” without even thinking twice about it. It was almost overwhelming realizing how close to this woman I already felt, because the last time I saw her I was 2 weeks old, but I now know it’s a feeling that you just know and doesn’t go away. There she waited for me to get through security, waving at me any time I looked back. It was adorable and made me feel like I suddenly had a whole new family in addition to the one I was going home to.

When I got to Newark International, I didn’t say anything to my parents about my birth mother when I got in the car. My mom was kind of quiet but I wasn’t sure if it was because it was late and she was tired, or if she was waiting for me to say something because she had a feeling where I was and what I was doing. Either way, she never mentioned it.

When we got home I handed my dad a copy of the baby picture my grandmother had given me that they had taken before I was adopted(it was an awful picture where I looked like I was pooping while the picture was being taken). I asked him if he knew who it was and he was like "yes this is you!” and so I asked.. “Do you know where I got this picture..?” and he replied “Maryann, did you give her this?” and my mom came in and looked at the picture. She said no and asked where I had gotten it. I asked her if she really had no idea, and they both just continued to look at the photograph completely confused.

So then I told them. I said I was in Florida to find my birth mother. I found her. I went on telling them the entire story which took almost 2 hours. I wasn’t sure how my mom would react to it because she was always scared of me finding my birth mother for some overprotective reason, but she actually got emotional hearing it. When I told her my mother didn’t choose to give me away and that it was her mother’s choice, she completely understood in a way she never seemed to before. I think my mom held more of a grudge against my birth mother than I realized when I said this, because she seemed like she was now thinking of my birth mother in a whole new way and no longer was worried about meeting her.

Then I asked if they knew that they weren’t even supposed to have me for Christmas, I was supposed to stay in foster care for 6-8 weeks. This was rushed by my birthmother who insisted I get placed into a permanent home (with my parents, who they chose) before Christmas. My parents had no idea that she was responsible for making sure I wasn’t in foster care for Christmas, and it only makes sense that Christmas always was so big to her now hearing that. When my mom heard that, she got even more emotional. I told her that my birth mother would love to meet them and thank them for raising me so well, and surprisingly, my mom didn’t even hesitate when she said she would love to meet her too.

Me and my birth mother now text every day, good morning, good night, and even her husband reaches out to check in. They have a flight to New Jersey scheduled in 2 weeks on March 24, when they will come to meet my parents and friends, and introduce me to their brothers and my cousins who live in the area.

The attached picture is me and my biological mother’s 1st picture taken together in 27 years. She wanted me to make sure everyone knew she was crying many tears of happiness before this picture was taken. I think she looks beautiful though.

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