childermarse

[childermarse]

it’s not about reciprocation it’s just all about ME!!! baby I love these bozos

#these two!

[childermarse]

every haunted fucking interaction the gentleman with the thistle-down hair has with stephen black is just like. oh do you like this parasol, stephen? how like you, to choose something so regal. it is made of only the finest materials. the body of the shaft must be harvested from the femur of an old impoverished widow who has had seven miscarriages. crucially, it is only worth something if her husband has been trampled to death by a unicorn! oh, the rainbow pickled tripe has captured your interest? only the rarest of delicacies for dearest stephen. of course, for the tripe to attain its otherworldly and prismatic properties, it must be brined in the tears of dozens of orphans. but only if they had been orphaned as a result of several ancient war crimes, and if the tears have been passed through a sieve made from puppies who’d been abandoned on the banks of tartarus. and to drink? ah a fine vintage, stephen, how exceedingly handsome and discerning of you! that one is straight up satan’s blood, from his cock. let us retire to my haunted decrepit-ass halls so that we may have gay sex

[childermarse]

Literal tears in my eyes from laughter

[childermarse]

JSMN Tumblr Posts: 1/?

[childermarse]

fairy: *drops jewels on the ground*

Segundus: wait, you dropped this!

fairy: *softly* fuck, he's good

fairy: dammit i was really in the mood for a good cursing

Lascelles: Out of my way, peasant

fairy: *rubs hands together*

[childermarse]

JSMN Tumblr Posts: 2/?

[childermarse]

JSMN Tumblr Posts: 1/?

[childermarse]

Thanks @companionnpc

This is awful and very rushed and only made as a test, someone please make a better and funnier one so I can delete it ty x

[childermarse]

fantasy author: the story ends with the magic going away forever. don’t you find it sad and poetic? please give me a pulitzer or at least a hugo

me: this is very dumb. I hate you. bring back the wizards

[childermarse]

1. a rose in her mouth

2. stephen and firenze

3. & 4.  lost hope

[childermarse]

self-care is trying to murder the man who bargained your soul to a fairy without your consent in order to bring you back to life so that your politician husband would support his research 

[childermarse]

[childermarse]

Reblog this if you post anything JSMN related PL E A S E I’m desperately trying to find the other 5 people in this fandom

[childermarse]

[childermarse]

[childermarse]

[childermarse]

overcaring cuties