child-in-her-eyes

[child-in-her-eyes]

clarice: "para que eu continue humana, meu sacrifício será o de que esquecer?"

[child-in-her-eyes]

#mysterious skin #lolita

[child-in-her-eyes]

#my dark vanessa

[child-in-her-eyes]

Mysterious Skin (2004)

Directed by Gregg Araki

#mysterious skin

[child-in-her-eyes]

there's an interview with jeremy irons that's been circulating among my mutuals, an interview back from the days of lolita, and he says "children under 16 are immensely attractive". perhaps he meant another word, i don't know - but what got to me about that interview is that he says his son went through a "golden time for about 18 months" after he turned 12. he was "like a god". there's something deeply sad to me about that, hearing from your father that you were god-like when you were 12, and at some point when you were 13 that "golden time" passed. it reminded me a little of thomas mann when he wrote in his diary about beng in love with his son klaus - i think klaus was around that same age, maybe 13 or 14, and i remember he described his body as "radiant". and of course eventually klaus grew up and i don't think mann ever mentioned anything about being in love with him when he was an adult, or anything about him being "radiant". of course we grow older, we lose our beauty, we're no longer radiant or golden or god-like, and honestly it's hell to have been that once, for someone, and not having any hope of being in that position again. for that someone specifically, but also in general because it was about being special in that way at that time, which in itself is a kind of curse.

#being very beautiful to someone being special means at some point you'll no longer be very beautiful and you won't be special

[child-in-her-eyes]

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) dir. Wes Craven

#the gift!

[child-in-her-eyes]

[child-in-her-eyes]

#we're not so safe then #*lit #h.d.

[child-in-her-eyes]

#and utter words other than poisonous #from that child - horrors! #well - i said things #h.d. #*lit

[child-in-her-eyes]

[child-in-her-eyes]

#*lit #h.d.

[child-in-her-eyes]

sempre me pego pensando nisso, "vivera muitos fatos". vivi uma lista de fatos. esses fatos aconteceram comigo, eu poderia listá-los. "viver não é relatável", mas você pode listar fatos, enumerá-los, organizá-los. e só, você não pode relatar uma vida.

[child-in-her-eyes]

[child-in-her-eyes]

[child-in-her-eyes]

#anne sexton

[child-in-her-eyes]

trying to figure out why i need different blogs - and not even sideblogs, but different accounts - and why i post some things here and other things there. fragmented writing...

[child-in-her-eyes]

clarissa's cyper | denise levertov

#*lit #it looks like dying