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Jason, laying in the lounge, bat boys sleep over (duke couldn’t join them): do you think cows like to sing?

Tim, on his phone definitely not sleeping: it's 3am, go back to sleep

Jason, defensive: they can moo, so they must be good at opera!

Dick, who’s secretly been awake starts mooing opera style, it’s awful:

Damian, shaking awake: WHERE'S THE COW-

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new fav tweet

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Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

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real

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woah

Decorative front cover of 'Flower Lore' by Miss Carruthers.

Published 1879 by McCaw, Stevenson & Orr.

Cornell University Library

archive.org

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dick: you can’t just do that, it’s illegal

jason: pft what are you, a cop?

dick: ……

jason: no…

dick: listen- jay it’s-

jason: NO

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I was out getting burgers the other day and this scooter man pulled up and I physically gasped. He had a pink fluffy motorcycle helmet with floppy dog ears on it. That was already pretty cute. But as he turned he had a little chihuahua strapped to his chest with her own little goggles on.

I vibrated with admiration from in my car and tried to resist the urge to get a picture. I fully believe in not photographing people without permission, but I needed to share this cuteness. I thought about an artist rendition but I knew I’d forget details.

So I gave in and scurried out to approach him. The instant he saw my demeanor he knew I’d like a picture. He even put his little pups goggles back on to show them off. I was grinning from ear to ear as I thanked him and here is the best thing I’ve seen in a long time.

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requested by chainlocker

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https://www.instagram.com/bakya_a_bedla?igsh=MXd0cGxyMTdscDJ6Nw==

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Jeff, down on one knee with an open box: I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore.

Y/N: Are you breaking up with me??

Jeff: IM PROPOSING WHY WOULD I HAVE AN ENGAGEMENT RING IF I WAS BREAKING UP WITH YOU?!

Y/N: MAYBE IT WAS A BREAKUP RING!

Jeff: WHAT THE FUCK IS A BREAKUP RING?!!