totoko: osomatsu-kun, would you love me if i was a worm?
osomatsu: of course!!! yeah, i'd love you if you were a worm!! you'd be the cutest worm!! i'd give you little worm kisses-
totoko: haha ewwww heeheehee
osomatsu: -and we'd go on little worm dates!! like i would take you to nice, damp patches of dirt. we could go on little worm picnics!
totoko: that's so sweet!!! hehehe ^_^
osomatsu: what about me?
totoko: hm?
osomatsu: would you love me if i was a worm, totoko-chan?
totoko: gross, no.
osomatsu: eh?
totoko: well, actually. like ok, i wouldn't love you in like a romantic sense cos worms are gross and slimy and smell bad so you would be gross and smelly.
osomatsu: wha-
totoko: -but i do like using worms for bait. so i'd probably use you for bait. so because of that, i would technically like you if you were a worm.
osomatsu: okay-
totoko: -and if you caught me a big fish, then i'd really like you as a worm. but only if it's a big fish, if it's smaller than like 14 inches then it's just a "like" and not a "really like". i might even smush you if fish aren't biting with you on the hook. but yeah, i guess i would like you. haha ^_^
osomatsu: o-okay. yeah!! :-)
osomatsu: hey can i go take a piss in your bathroom real quick?
totoko: okay. only if it's just to pee though!
osomatsu: haha, yeah don't worry i don't gotta take a dump.