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kessleragain
Ash Kessler
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Eugene Thacker, "Misanthropos" in Wound of Wounds: An Ovation to Emil Cioran
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because you’re overpopulating the earth and killing the polar bears. bitch.
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because getting pregnant on purpose won’t stop him from leaving you.
he’s already fucking half your friends.
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i will never write a romance that ends in pregnancy and children and i’m not sorry at all.
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I will never fucking understand people that CHOSE to have kids and then start to complain about having kids and having to raise them.
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to my future child
I’m scared of a lot
But mostly I’m scared of the day I’ll hold you in my arms for the first time
And I'm scared of the day you spill milk on the carpet
And I’m scared of the way my voice will pierce the air and travel right to your heart and stay in your brain forever
I’m also afraid of the day you throw a tantrum, of the look I’ll give you in public, a promise of returning home and the punishment that awaits you
I’m afraid of the day you grow obnoxious, of the way I’ll resent the way you speak about the newest cartoons and why that is your favorite character
I’m afraid of the day you flinch
I’m afraid of the day I’ll try to soothe you, but really it's me I’m trying to make feel better
I’m also scared of the day you finally grow resentful and angry
And I'm scared of the day I will be right
Afraid that one day I’ll see that I wasn't kind enough, brave enough, stable enough to raise you as I should have
I’m afraid of the day I’ll realize I’m her
And the day I realize you are me.
To my dearest… never-to-be born child.
May we never meet.
The kindest thing I can do for you is make absolutely certain the day we meet, the day I hold you in my arms for the first time never comes.
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