chadfloyd-blog
Lighten My Stagger
Chad Edward Floyd.
18 years old.
Detroit, Michigan.
If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9
I like music. and bikes. and people. talk to me.
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This is how you lose her.
You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.
You must remember when she forgets.
You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.
She remembers when you forget.
You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.
You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.
And, this is how you keep her.
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at least when you are hanging out with yourself, you get to pick the music
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there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock
people so tired
mutilated
either by love or no love.
people just are not good to each other
Charles Bukowski, “The Crunch” (via ikilledjackjohnson)
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Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. Hollywood, CA. #food
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Falling in love isn't a game
I totally understand that people fall in love and then break up and move on and fall in love again with someone new, but I didn't plan on "falling in love" just to do it all over again with someone else. Once I "fell in love" that was it, I told myself I wouldn't do it again. Sure I might meet someone else one day, and be more than friends and start a new relationship, but I can promise you that I will never "love" another person the way I love you. Ill never look into someone else's eyes and see the same thing again. Nobody else will ever be able to make me feel the way you made me feel when our arms were wrapped around eachother or when our hands held so tightly together, or when I kissed your lips. I will love you untill I die and then I will keep loving you when I'm dead. I don't care if this sounds cliche or if it sounds like I'm just not able to get over someone. I know what I feel and that's what I feel.
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