ceyoung89

[ceyoung89]

Pages from a scrapbook made around 1883 by Minnie C. Woodbury Goodwin

From the collection of Mandy (Paper of the Past), who posts all sorts of delicious scrapbooks and ephemera on Instagram and here

[ceyoung89]

A post about missing home and moving on.

@itsashlyperez post / Circe by Madeline Miller / spookyrich / comic by @shhhitsfine / post by @fairycosmos / The Office S9 Ep 23 / unknown, please tag author / my photo, IKEA review / unknown, please tag author /Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut

A post about missing home and moving on.

[ceyoung89]

i have spent a few days listening to the music you like. you have a tattoo of the band's logo on your ribs. you got it when you were still kind of a kid. my first tattoo was a bird instead. i did the math - we got our first tattoos in the same calendar year. isn't that kind of cool.

my mom loves hallmark movies, so i grew up thinking love would look like a firework. it feels like one, after all. it's just that my house wasn't safe. i thought love was a weapon, could be pointed at your eyes. could lose a finger to it, or teeth. my father used to say passion is everything. i thought that meant constant fighting was a good thing. i thought that meant love looked like a week of bickering, because it was worth the the weekend's boombox apology. i thought quiet love was boring. i thought love had to blot out everything, compel the body and the mind like puppetry. i thought love looks like ruining your own dinner table - but at least you set a feast.

but love looks like a scarf. your hands smoothing it down my chest, being sure each of the edges are tucked in, worried about my asthma attacks being cold-activated. i race you while i'm wearing heels, you hold my hand to guide me downhill while walking my dog. we dance in my living room to waltz of the flowers, i show you how to hold your arms in proper ballet port de bras. you write a song about looking out of my window while the snow falls. i ask you to text my friends back while i'm driving. you play dj in the front seat. somewhere on route 93, we start murmuring about secret things.

oh. there is a difference between peace and dispassion. it was never that i feared quiet, it's that i didn't know what safe felt like. i liked the chaos because it was familiar, not because it was kind. i think i used to fear the word wife. i didn't like the idea of long, lonely days and being yelled at for small things. i didn't like the idea of sacrificing my one beautiful life.

you meet my friends and make a point to learn things about them. we both get excited about the other person's passions. you read my book for hours, squinting at the small words. i try to understand basic guitar information. we talk for four hours on the phone while i string together a garland. we talk for six hours while you write a poem. i save a pintrest tip for the summer about making paper kites. i plan us a week-long trip to maine, map out my favorite places for an eventual hike. you fall asleep on the ride home, and i turn down the radio so it won't wake you up. your quiet hands fold over mine.

when i look up, the stars are brighter. how carefully you've woven gold into the corners of my life. when i move, i feel some part of my soul reflected back onto you.

oh, love is not a net. it's a blanket.

[ceyoung89]

Most of you, by now, will have read about the sudden and unexpected passing of Hilary Mantel; a writer who I've come to admire enormously in recent years. I thought I'd collect together a masterpost of my favourites among her shorter essays, that you can read for free online:

No Passport Required (2002) - on nationality and identity

Written On Our Bodies (2003) - on female infertility and medical misogyny

Holy Disorders (2004) - on anorexia and sainthood

'Every part of my body hurt' (2004) - on endometriosis

Author, Author (2008) - on Virago Modern Classics, publishers of neglected women's fiction

Night Visions (2008) - on dreams and writing fiction

'Looking for female role models in nineteenth century novels' (2009)

The Shape We're In (2009) - fatphobia in relation to feminism and capitalism

The War Against Women (2009) - on 'A History of Women' by Marilyn French

Women Over 50 - The Invisible Generation (2009) - on aging and womanhood

Anne Boleyn: Witch, Bitch, Temptress, Feminist (2012)

'You have to experience it to know what fat is like' (2013) - on fatphobia

Hilary Mantel On Grief (2014)

'Endometriosis took my fertility, and part of my self' (2015)

Elizabeth Jane Howard: Hilary Mantel on the Novelist She Tells Everyone to Read (2016)

The Princess Myth (2017) - on Princess Diana

[ceyoung89]

Brendon Burton, Everywhere at the End of Time

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“Rather than the manufactured clash of civilizations, we need to concentrate on the slow working together of cultures that overlap, borrow from each other, and live together in far more interesting ways than any abridged or inauthentic mode of understanding can allow.” ― Edward W. Said, Orientalism

[ceyoung89]

“GRIEF” by Franchesca Cox | “Love and Pain” by Edvard Munch | “Harmony”, chapter 57 of “Crimson Rivers” by @mayzarbewithyou | screenshot from “Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix” | chapter 12 of “Here’s looking at you kid” by @little-shit-soph | “Letter to Cynthia” by Nick Cave | “The Lament for Icarus” by Herbert James Draper | “Fleabag” s2ep4 | “Love Warrior” by Glennon Doyle Melton | “Under the Burden of Misery” by Teodor Axentowicz | Andrew Garfield on grief | “A Hopeless Dawn” by Frank Bramley | quote by Jamie Anderson | painting by Malcom T. Liepke (?) | quote from “Wandavison”

[ceyoung89]

Nathaniel • femalepentimento

[ceyoung89]

love is what defines us

cosmos, carl sagan // humanity as told by uquiz free text answers, @judas-redeemed // @cheruib // the good place, gif by @trueloveistreacherous // rien ne va plus, margarita karapanou (tr. by karen emmerich) // everything everywhere all at once, gif by @rosalie-starfall // les misérables, victor hugo // unknown

[ceyoung89]

you know what? I WILL play with jpgs like dolls. what if life could be dream

[ceyoung89]

Other than the Gram I have no social platform I’m using right now and the gram is for my photography business and idk if anyone will see this or even give a shit about it but I need the modern-day equivalent to SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS I JUST QUERIED MY MOST RECEBT MEMOIR AND IT TOOK ME ABOUT 6 MONTHS TO WRITE THAT E-MAIL BUT I SENT IT YESTERDAY

anyway bye

[ceyoung89]

And how do you run away from what never goes away??

[ceyoung89]

waterborn, natasha trethewey | nietzsche | archbudzar on instagram | a great hope fell, emilio dickinson | the third hour of the night, frank bidart

[ceyoung89]

moth wings and other things

[ceyoung89]

night and day by virginia woolf // from the collected Works; "dracula” by bram stoker // woman hollering creek and other stories by sandra cisneros // art by holly warburton // this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar // lighthousekeeping by jeanette winterson // everything everywhere all at once (2022) // quote by margaret atwood

[ceyoung89]

LOVE AS VIOLENCE VS LOVE AS SOFTNESS

Ada Limon, The Good Fight // Mary Oliver, West Wind // Danez Smith, Bare // Sappho, Fragment 58.25-26 // Mitski, I Don’t Smoke // Ashe Vernon // Hozier, Cherry Wine // Shauna Barbosa, GPS // Richard Siken, Little Beast // Chen Chen, Summer [The sunflowers fall…] // Warsan Shire // Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

[ceyoung89]

motion sickness - phoebe bridgers // stone butch blues by leslie feinberg // quote by E.E. scott // dream girl by clementine von radics // my name (2021) // the asylum for wayward victorian girls by emilie autumn // quote by kristin chang // unknown // would’ve, could’ve, should’ve - taylor swift // if there’s a way out i’ll take it by lora mathis