catstar91

[catstar91]

i appreciate the attempts a lot of game devs are making with gender neutral character creation, and i appreciate that it's actually a very difficult task to implement that depending on the game's base code. but it's so funny to me when you hear an uproar because some game has "entirely removed the gender option from character creation!!!!!" so you go to check it out and its just like

[catstar91]

straight guy geologist describing a vertically oriented igneous intrusion to his buddy: it’s a . well. i’m not sure i can reclaim this one just get over here

[catstar91]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[catstar91]

when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

[catstar91]

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[catstar91]

#That’s the kingdom hearts experience baybee! I love picking up orbs! #hell in kh even the items dropped by enemies come in little orb shaped chests!

[catstar91]

HELP

MY ASSIGNED ANALOG HORROR SERIES IS PENIS FILES

#Deranged Email apparently… which like… isn’t that every email?

[catstar91]

elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

[catstar91]

[catstar91]

wheelchairs and canes and glasses and hearing aids and every single other disability aid should be free btw and if you disagree i hate you

[catstar91]

[catstar91]

When my brothers and I were little, there was a tiny playground across our house, and at one point there was a wasp's nest right next to it. I remembered messing around and getting stung, but not the whole context. I brought it up with my mom and apparently this was the order of events:

My little brother got stung first because he was sitting too close. He comes home crying, and me and our other brother are like "those wasps STUNG our brother? We have to avenge him." So we get dressed up as warriors and bring plastic swords with us to the playground. Our mom warns us not to mess with the wasp's nest and we're like "we won't!"

So we leave and immediately start messing with the wasp's nest. It's down low, so after thwacking it we put rocks in the way of the entrance, and the wasps start to freak out. Of course we got stung and came home crying.

Our dad gets home around the same time, and our mom explains what happened. Instead of lecturing us on why you shouldn't mess with wasp's nests, he's like "those wasps STUNG my kids? I have to avenge them."

So he grabs a caulk gun and goes to leave, and our mom is like "PLEASE don't mess with the wasp's nest" and he's like "I won't."

5 mins later he comes back and is like "I got stung."