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ill be shocked if this hasnt already been done but ive been thinking about it all day

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throw away whatever else you were doing look at this fucking stock photo i found

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hawkins' description of jonathan reads like a pet bio on a shelter website

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Being as Dracula Daily is starting up again in about three days, I think this is a perfect opportunity, as we follow along this year, to play the PG-13 game.

For the unfamiliar, the PG-13 game is as follows: you are allowed to insert one and only one instance of the word "fuck" into the text as written. For maximum impact, where do you put it?

#jonathan watching dracula crawl down the wall Lizard Fashion: “what the fuck”

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do NOT watch star trek. you'll get a disease where you see any post and think oooh i can make this about star trek :3 no you CANT!!!

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i think he would kill it on space tiktok

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I think. Shadowfax deserved eight legs. If JRR weren’t so practical we could have had eight-legged Shadowfax. Joy denied.

#good point but remember jrrt hated spiders so much he made some of the worst abominations in the history of the world very big spiders

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Magnus fandom, 2016: We're horny for this lady made of worms!

Me: Huh. Unexpected, I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Magnus fandom, 2024: We're horny for this guy made of needles!

Me: Of course you are, my children. Be free.

Magnus fandom 2024: We're horny for this bulbous oozing clown man!

Me: I think 95% of your are being facetious, but the true 5% can go with god.

Magnus fandom, just now: We're horny for a member of the British Aristocracy!

Me: Gross. No. Absolutely not. Sick freaks the lot of you. I am officially kinkshaming. You disgust me.

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Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

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"Do you ever try to read your own face?"

Uh huh...well there's one thing the Count won't be doing...

#IM SCREAMING

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MIRROR MIRROR 🕺🪩

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Me checking my emails this morning (colorized)

#YEAHHHH HERE SHE IS

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The Beast that Bothers

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Everyone loves you grub!!

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