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I’m laughing so hard so Aldi ended a contract with this onion seller because they jacked their prices and then they printed the middle finger on all their onions to Aldi after their contract ended can you IMAGINE being this petty

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artist tips

don’t save as jpeg

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"There's no hope for the future." And that's how they felt during the Atomic Age, during the World Wars, during the Enlightenment Revolutions, during thr plagues, during the Viking raids, during the fall of Rome.

Yet, we persisted.

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the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week

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So I've been making marionette puppets of my neighbors (I'm taking a class) and let me tell you my landlord/building manager was SUPER not prepared to see the wooden version of him (he lives on my floor) when he came in to fix my stove

Anon no offense but I think I would call the police if I found out one of my neighbours was making wooden puppets of me without my knowledge

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Absolutely bonkers that I'm now one of those weirdos you hear about on Twitter

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my own grandfather's obituary was fucking paywalled because it was originally only in print and then digitized, and the newspaper that ran the original obituary has a paywalled website. my grandfather's obituary is paywalled. he died when i was a toddler. i don't know where he was is buried. and the only record of his obituary is paywalled. like, i know it's a minor thing and i can easily get past this. but damn it feels a bit dystopian, don't you think?

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Sleeping on the job

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Did your English teachers generally like you and are you queer?

They liked me, I am queer

They liked me, I am not queer

They didn't like me, I am queer

They didn't like me, I am not queer

N/A

(Note: If most of your english teachers liked you but one didn't, choose "they liked me," since it is just generally - Feel free to re-word this if it doesn't make sense)

(Note: If most of your english teachers liked you but one didn't, choose "they liked me," since it is just generally - Feel free to re-word this if it doesn't make sense)

#they liked me (queer) also because i was actually able to speak english aidhzidbkz #i won the english prize in my last year of secondary school #and yet i always talked with my neighbour in class #but since i did it in english the teacher still liked me

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I dislike how clumsy it is to share Twitter threads but here is a portion from a guy I follow (for his trans porn and monster fucking content at that) echoing a sentiment that aces, traumatized people, people with low libido, etc. can fully relate to. The rest is here and it’s absolutely worth the read.

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I get mail

I, a total stranger, was thinking of befriending your kid, but before I did, I thought I'd ask you, are they a boring, selfish jerk?

It's fine if they are, I'm just really trying to find quality people to be friends with, so I thought I'd ask you, is your kid a dick?

Wait, don't get offended! How are people supposed to know whether to hang out with your kid if you can't answer a simple question?!

I, a total stranger, was thinking of inviting myself over to your house for dinner.

But before I do, I wanted to ask, is your cooking insipid, greasy and terrible?

Honestly, it's not problem if it is, I'm just trying to focus on eating food that isn't shit.

Oh, come on, don't be so touchy! How is anyone supposed to know whether to eat the food you cook if you won't tell them whether it sucks?

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extremely telling how everytime Israel gets mad at someone it's palestinians that are punished

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A trope that gets to me: 'guard dog' character and their partner who are both fully aware of it and honestly don't care/kind of like it. Someone says "call your guard dog off" and their partner does call them off. That person, their 'guard dog', is someone who is unreservedly, irrefutably loyal to them. Someone undoubtedly dangerous who is willing to kill, to maim, to obey, simply because of their love for one another. There's no manipulation involved— it is loyalty, brutal, dogged loyalty. And it goes both ways.

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oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted

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Crochet Bookmarks // Claire Zhang