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carminavulcana · 13 hours
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POV: your friend is an ecology major and has beef with random animals
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carminavulcana · 13 hours
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There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function
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carminavulcana · 13 hours
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For the last time: Mary Shelley and Lord Byron were friends. She didn't hate him. His death was a very painful loss to her. She didn't write Frankenstein because she was stuck in a house with him and he was an unbearable person. For God's sake, just read her journals and letters.
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carminavulcana · 13 hours
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carminavulcana · 3 days
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Pssst
Hey, are you an artist or writer with WIPs?
Come here... I got a secret for you pssst come ‘ere
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carminavulcana · 3 days
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Throwback thursday to when I was like 12 and I was putting out new writing DAILY...... Like entire Chapters of my then-current wips just, over an afternoon. What the fuck was I on
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carminavulcana · 5 days
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aos kirk in the green shirt 👀
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carminavulcana · 5 days
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i love ao3 donation season bcs every year I get to see people acting like thousands of strangers giving like 10 usd to a volunteer run website are personally oppressing them
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carminavulcana · 5 days
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You do quite well. STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES season one | episode twenty-six ⇢ errand of mercy
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carminavulcana · 8 days
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Maids, cleaners, janitors, and sanitation workers are all the most important people of civilization by far. Even 12 hours without them is VERY noticable and they simply need to be highly compensated for it
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carminavulcana · 8 days
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I know it is my father's first time on this Earth, too. And I know He had it worse when he was little.
But I was little too.
— Franz Kafka, from letters to his father
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carminavulcana · 11 days
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stereotypes about people “really interested in WWI” are wildly different than stereotypes about people “really interested in WWII”
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carminavulcana · 14 days
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i would like a star trek episode where somehow people hear what the universal translator makes them sound like to their crewmates. and are dismayed.
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carminavulcana · 14 days
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Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes
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carminavulcana · 17 days
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This is so good 🥺🥹
Title : The Best
Characters : Ram, Bheem
Summary : Some domestic fluff starting with Ram sharing a meal with Bheem at Bheem's home. Then Ram has something he wants to ask Bheem, and they have a heartfelt conversation. Set sometime not too long after the movie's end.
Word count : 3,224
Ram sat across from Bheem as he tore a piece of naan and dipped it in his fish curry. Smiled at his friend almost cheekily as he took a bite. It was his first time trying Bheem’s cooking and he found that the taste was sublime. They were both enjoying some much-needed quiet time together at Bheem’s home. After spending the day working out and chattering about nonsense, this was a satisfying end to their activities.
“Really, Bheem, you should be a chef. This is just amazing. With just the right amount of spice to add so much kick to it. Whew,” He paused to laugh and wipe at his face. “It’s making me break a sweat.”
Bheem smiled shyly at him as he reached for a glass of lassi. He seemed to be handling the spice level just fine compared to Ram. “I don’t know about ‘amazing’, anna. I’d surely never be able to sell it to people with all the good food around here.”
Ram rolled his eyes. His mouth hadn’t watered this much in so long and his friend was being this modest with him? “Well, I’m just saying that you definitely sell yourself short. I could probably eat thirds of this, it’s so good. Although I might catch fire if I do,” he added as he brushed aside some hair that had fallen in his face.
“Thank you...you are too kind. And sorry about the spice,” Bheem added sheepishly.
Ram shook his hand at him dismissively. “No, I am never too kind. Especially not to you.” His voice held a trace of mischief.
After all the drama, heartache, and agony they’d endured it was so relaxing and enjoyable sitting like this sharing a meal with each other. Just the two of them and no one else. Utterly sweet and strangely captivating. Ram couldn’t help but watch Bheem as he ate with his left hand every now and then, eyes unconsciously softening as they had the first time he’d seen it. His friend brought out this side of him often, though, it seemed. It was like he was the culmination of everything he’d ever sought for in life.
Ram took another bite of the curry. Felt tempted to say something that he hadn’t had much time to think about until recently. Thinking back to when Bheem had told him that his friendship was more precious to him than his life...it was such a profound thing to hear. Lately it had been echoing in his mind non-stop because of how much he loved his friend for saying it. And now he had this desire to let him know how he felt as well. Now that they were sitting like this, he felt like it might be the right time to bring it up.
Finished with his food, Ram wiped his hands. Watched Bheem drink from his lassi and set the cup aside, wiping at his mustache. Before he could speak, however, Bheem said something first.
“Here, try this,” Bheem said, as he took some naan, dipped it in a different curry and held it up to Ram’s mouth. “Goat curry and it’s not as spicy.”
Ram let Bheem feed him and he chewed and swallowed the food, savoring the flavor. Bheem was right. It wasn’t nearly as spicy, but tasted just as good. “Delicious,” he said. “You’ve outdone yourself.”
Bheem waved off the compliment, modest as always. Ram felt an urge to drill it into his head that he was a great cook, but held back as something else rose to the forefront of his mind. What he’d been wanting to say to Bheem.
For the briefest of seconds, Ram hesitated. Something holding him back. Maybe he’d make Bheem uncomfortable? But when Bheem met his eyes in that silence, eyes sparkling cheerfully, he made up his mind. It was now or never.
“Can I ask you something?”
Bheem had begun to clean up the mess on the floor, but paused at the serious tone in Ram’s voice. “You can,” he said somewhat cautiously.
“I just wanted to ask you…” Ram began, feeling as though he might start suddenly stuttering from anxiety. Bheem’s full attention on him made him feel overly aware of his facial expression and even his tone of voice. Something that rarely happened in general, let alone with someone he felt as comfortable with as Bheem. “Did...did you really mean what you said? You know…”
…when you said our friendship is more precious to you than your life…
And he had spoken almost as though he felt that Bheem should know what he meant without saying.
He expected Bheem to be at least somewhat embarrassed, for him to avert his eyes or to even just appear the least bit awkward, but he didn’t. He was completely unaffected in that way, and instead, his face warmed up as his cheeks tinged pink. He smiled lopsidedly at Ram, as he said “Of course, anna. I meant every word. You know I value you.”
Somehow, those words ‘I value you’ held so much weight to them that Ram felt as though he’d been socked in the gut. No one had ever said such a thing to him before. Perhaps because no one had ever truly felt that way about him other than a few people, like his immediate family. But to hear it from someone he admired so much, loved so deeply...it made him want to rejoice all over again. Break into a song right then and there.
Truthfully, he’d almost expected Bheem to deny it. For some reason, he’d been doubtful that he’d remembered what Bheem had said correctly. But now that Bheem had confirmed it, Ram’s stomach was flipping, and he felt jittery. Almost as if he needed to move away from where he was sitting and do something to get away from this feeling. He smiled back at Bheem, knowing he probably was looking at him like he was enamored with him. But he didn’t care. Bheem deserved to have that kind of open adoration.
“That’s…so sweet, Bheem,” Ram found that he’d been trying to sound almost sarcastic, but it had come out sincere. He hated himself for trying to downplay his emotions, but he felt insecure about displaying them at times. Even to his best friend who he loved more than a brother. “I didn’t know I meant that much to you. I was too shy to tell you myself...what you mean to me. And especially after all that’s happened, I feel like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re just the best…” For a moment, Ram’s voice caught in his throat, surprising him. Emotion overwhelming him at how that word ‘best’ was so fitting for Bheem. Someone who stirred all kinds of feelings within him, whether it was good or bad—all of it, powerful. “….the best friend I could ever hope to ask for.”
At first Bheem’s eyes were gently appreciating Ram, touched by what he had said. But then he seemed to think about something before he lowered his head and chuckled into a hand.
Ram blushed, thinking his friend was laughing at his earnestness. Even though he should know Bheem wasn’t the type to do such a thing. “What? Did I say something strange?”
Bheem shook his head as his chuckles died down. His eyes were soft and warm. “Oh no, anna, you didn’t. It’s just that I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life. You say the kind of things I’d always wanted to hear, you know? That’s why I laughed. And sitting here like this, with you...I’m so glad I met Sita in time. You don’t know much I thank God for that.” Bheem’s face darkened unexpectedly, his face turning away from Ram, hands squeezing his crossed knees. The atmosphere changed drastically as Ram could practically feel the anger reverberating from Bheem’s end. “If I’d been too late, I would have—who knows what I would have done. I’d have wanted to die, surely. Maybe, in a way, I would have.” His fingers gripped his knees so tightly that his veins in his hands bulged. He was slightly hunched over as though he were trying to cave into himself.
Ram’s eyes creased in affection, hating hearing such words from someone who he’d seen endure torture by his own hand. He placed a hand on Bheem’s soft cheek, turning his friend’s face ever so slightly so he’d look at him. “And I’m glad that you met her on time so we could sit and eat together like this, just enjoying your cooking and each other’s company. Simple joys like this mean so much more to me now after all we’d been through.”
They sat silently together for a moment as Bheem seemed to process the situation, even nodding slightly to himself as Ram’s words appeared to settle within him. But he surprised Ram as he gently pulled his hand away from his cheek, grimacing and looking deeply pained. His face aged beyond his years as it seemed something was tormenting him internally.
Ram frowned. “Bheem? What is it? What’s wrong?”
Bheem shook his head, his eyes glossy and wide as his lips wobbled. His voice trembled as he spoke. “You don’t understand...I feel so horrible for stabbing you in the chest that night, anna. So ruthlessly, so brutally, as if you were no different from those British dogs. I’ve hurt you so much...it kills me inside.” Bheem placed a hand over his heart, fingers digging into his skin.
Ram lowered his eyes, not because he was agreeing with what Bheem said, but because it was making him think of what he’d had to do to Bheem—that lashing. He knew Bheem didn’t hate him for something that was somehow necessary, but he was still haunted by the sound of that cracking whip, the gashes that marred his friend’s back...and how it felt like he’d been tearing at his own soul the entire time.
“Bheem, you idiot. You’ve endured more than enough pain to have no right to be upset about such a thing. We’ve both hurt each other so much. Neither of us is innocent. All that matters is that we made up and all misconceptions were put to rest. You’re my brother. More than that, even. You always were and you always will be.” He still felt a phantom pain as he remembered that terrible ripping agony as Bheem had stabbed him, though. He wasn’t sure if it was the physical pain of being wounded that hurt so much or if it was because of who had hurt him. He shuddered in remembrance of it.
“I’m so sorry, anna...for everything,” Bheem whimpered as he crawled awkwardly on his knees around their plates towards his friend. He wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly. Ram felt Bheem’s tears drip onto his chest as he held him. It was enough to make his heart twinge with regret. He rubbed Bheem’s back, consoling him gently as his own eyes welled with tears. He was so touched by his friend’s compassion for him.
“I’m sorry, too,” Ram said, voice cracking with emotion he didn’t even know he was capable of expressing. He’d been a zombie practically his whole life compared to the man he’d become after meeting Bheem. Now his heart was constantly filled to the brim with heartfelt affection he felt for his doting best friend. He made him feel so much...
As Bheem pulled away, sniffing and rubbing at his eyes, he gazed at Ram reverently. In a way that made Ram’s heart ache and also chilled him deep inside. Sometimes he felt like he didn’t deserve to be looked up to by his friend. But he also wished he could live up to the idealistic view of him that he seemed to have. He just wanted to be the best possible version of himself for someone as lovely as Bheem. Ram loved him too much to want to settle for any less.
“Also…” Ram continued a bit hesitantly. He wasn’t sure if he’d hurt Bheem’s feelings with what he was about to suggest. “You don’t have to call me ‘anna’ anymore. If it’s alright, I’d like you to call me Ram.”
“Ram?” Bheem’s eyes were wide, so full of innocence that it made Ram’s ragged heart swell. He loved this side of his friend. Despite being so strong, he was so sweet and unassuming. Realization dawned on Bheem’s face, as though his friend’s name was processing in his mind. Bheem wobbled his head from side to side, a smile spreading across his face. “Okay, if it will make you happy, I will call you Ram from now on.”
Hearing his name uttered by Bheem’s lips lit a fire in Ram’s heart. There was something so special about Bheem saying his name that he couldn’t quite describe. It just sounded so beautiful, as if its definition had changed.
Ram grinned as he patted Bheem’s shoulder, squeezing it. “Great,” he said. He should have known he could always count on Bheem to have an open mind. His friend was so kind and accepting, after all.
And as Ram helped Bheem clean up their mess, he found that he was unconsciously smiling the whole time, as though just this mundane task was made thrilling because of who was beside him. It wasn’t just Bheem who valued Ram, but Ram valued his friend as well. Almost painfully so.
He loved Bheem so much it hurt.
Once they were done cleaning up, and Bheem began washing dishes, Ram stood beside him, combing his hands through his hair unconsciously. Bheem was able to see him in the mirror that hung on the wall above the sink. Ram winced a little as his fingers tangled in the knots. Bheem placed a plate on the rack to dry as Ram watched.
“Your hair’s a mess, Ram,” Bheem said.
“I know. I hate it. Maybe I should cut it.”
“No, don’t,” Bheem said a bit too hastily. He even looked embarrassed for his quick response as he placed another clean dish on the rack. “You really shouldn’t,” he said, this time more calmly.
Ram figured he might as well take his word for it. Perhaps Bheem had a good eye. “…it’s just so knotted, it’s a bit annoying at times.”
“You should brush it.”
Ram sighed. He had to deal with this often since his hair had grown out. “I don’t have a brush with me. It’s not a big deal. I’ll just wait until I get home.”
Bheem placed the final plate on the rack, turned away from the sink and towards Ram. He looked strangely serious as he crossed his arms. “I have a hair brush.”
Ram felt a bit bashful for some reason. He wasn’t quite sure why. He’d never used such a personal item of Bheem’s before. “I don’t know...I don’t want to get my hairs on it.”
Bheem placed his arms on Ram’s shoulders, and turned him around. Pushed him gently, guiding him towards his bedroom. “Don’t be silly. I couldn’t care less about things like that. Don’t you know me by now?”
Ram was guided into the bedroom, where Bheem let him go as he fished in a drawer for a hairbrush. As he pulled it out, he grinned at Ram as he gestured towards a seat that was in front of large mirror. Ram realized what this meant. Bheem was going to brush his hair for him. He felt a strange tingling sensation at the thought of Bheem doing this for him. Somehow, he was strangely looking forward to it, like it was an exciting event.
As Ram awkwardly sat down, he saw Bheem’s reflection beaming at him. His friend seemed so eager to do this that it embarrassed him a little. And as Bheem combed his fingers through his hair, preparing him for the brush, Ram couldn’t help but smile. It felt oddly nice, being pampered like this by his best friend. He was being so careful not to hurt him that it was sweet.
Finally Bheem began pulling the brush carefully downward through Ram’s thick hair. He played with the strands with his free hand. Ram watched Bheem in the mirror enjoying seeing his friend’s face creased with concentration, even biting his lip as he worked. Ram had to admit that it was very soothing, sitting there like he was, being doted on by Bheem. The hair brushing almost felt like a scalp massage, that even eased tension in the rest of his body.
“You have such beautiful long hair,” Bheem said as he began working on the other side. “It really suits you.”
Ram had to look away, embarrassed by the compliment. It made him feel shy hearing something so kind and even a little intimate. Especially from Bheem. “Thank you.” He could have said so much more about Bheem’s hair and how adorably fluffy it was, but he chose to bite his tongue instead. For some reason, he felt that Bheem might have read his mind yet again, as he had a slightly amused smile on his face. He wouldn’t put it past him, anyway. His friend’s ability to know what he was thinking should have made him uncomfortable, but instead it was reassuring and comforting.
Ram liked it.
Once Bheem was finished, they both admired his handiwork. Ram’s hair looked nicely smooth with fewer flyaways compared to before. It was satisfying to look at, and Ram thanked Bheem as he stood up and across from him.
“You’re very good with your hands,” Ram said shyly. “You didn’t tug too hard at all. If it was me, I would have been ripping that brush through my hair, tearing my hair out.”
Bheem smiled at him. Ram basked in it, loving the way Bheem’s face glowed when he was happy. Making him wonder briefly how he could have ever been able to bear seeing him in such anguish before. “Now I have the magic touch, it seems,” Bheem teased, referencing what he’d once said about Ram.
Ram chuckled. His friend could be so endearing at times. “Yes, Bheem. You have the magic touch,” he said, as though he were teasing a child.
Bheem’s eyes crinkled tenderly as he smiled at him, sat on his bed, relaxing. The entire day had been peaceful and Ram loved spending it with Bheem. It was like Bheem’s positive energy was contagious and was filling him with so much warmth the more time he spent with him. Even Lacchu, who he occasionally felt slightly awkward around after what had happened between them, was kinder to him than he’d expect. But that was a relationship that was gradually mending with more time spent together. Ram just felt so grateful for the power of forgiveness and healing in his life.
He’d never forget how amazing he’d felt when he’d heard that rhythmic knocking while he’d been in that horrifically tiny cell. How it had reignited his hope and made him mad with desire to rejoin his friend above ground. And now they were spending lazy days together enjoying them to their heart’s content.
It was the best feeling ever.
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carminavulcana · 19 days
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carminavulcana · 21 days
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Headcannon: SPOILERS
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The moment he realized Kattappa had stabbed him in the back (delivering the final fatal wound out of many), Baahubali came to a realization that he was going to die. And mustering the last of his strength, he was able to ask Kattappa to take care of his mother, then climb atop a throne-like stone to praise his motherland for one last time; “Long live Mashizmati!”
With that being said, I like to think Baahu may have not mentioned his wife and unborn child because he ran out of strength (he’d fought with intruders sustaining a bunch of wounds and already used much of his remaining energy to climb on that stone and say his last few words) but they were the last thing on his mind as he died.
Especially the moment after he said to Kattappa to take care of Sivagami and he fell out of his arms to go toward that stone, I think Baahu started having flashbacks of memories of his life. Like just quick flashes and thoughts of Sivagami, of Bhalla, of Kattappa, of his people, of Mahizmati, and (most of all) in his last few moments, his mind was filled with memories and thoughts of Devasena and Mahendra but most of all— his promise to her to bring Kattappa back safe and sound. The one and only promise that he ultimately could not fulfill/keep for her.
This gives me some peace of mind about his not mentioning them before he died because in the film as Kattappa reiterated this to Sivagami, it seemed to be a matter of order of importance/value which I think wasn’t necessarily the case. It’s a wee bit more complicated than that, because he was dying so readily, I think Baahubali needed to get out what was on his mind all this time and the thing that troubled and kept him up at night; Sivagami. His concern and worry about her had been on the tip of his tongue tongue ever since (noticeably) the baby shower (Devasena sees this too; in fact she sees his concern and worry throughout the whole movie- always very aware of his emotions ugh she always looked out for him) and it was something that he had been waiting to touch upon. So realizing he couldn’t ever get to speak with her again, he needed to get it out first to Kattappa.
We don’t really see what Baahu thinks of as he dies, but I bet one of his last thoughts were of Devasena and Mahendra. And his promise to her.
P.S. I wondered if Devasena felt the loss of her connection to him when he died, like a zap or a sudden loss and a void in her heart that she couldn’t explain and made her go running to the palace in search of answers, stumbling on weak legs as she just gave birth. (Only to have her fears come true).
Also notice how, after Baahu dies, Devasena becomes Bhalla’s prisoner and had her dignity stripped away. Because earlier on, Baahu vowed that until death separated them, he would always be there to protect her dignity and not let it get trampled over (im paraphrasing), and quite literally the moment he dies, Bhalla does just that and chains Devasena in the courtyard. (Well assuming, cuz we don’t know what he does to Devasena immediately after but it happens eventually)
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