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Most popular swear words by state in the US

#not super happy kentuckys is ‘bitch’ #although I’m not really surprised

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Jewish people do not proselytise like christians do. Judaism is an ethnoreligion, they are not interested in converting the entire world into being jewish. Converts are rare and need a good reason for wanting to do it - depending on the denomination, even wanting to marry someone who is jewish and joining one's partner's people may only barely be valid enough of a reason. Converting has to be a choice that you want to make, or something that God wants you to do. And therefore, there are only two possible explanations of why my Tumblr's targeted ads look the way they do.

The algorithm has somehow concluded that I am jewish and not reading the Torah enough, and would be interested in an app that'd make it easier to do while still busy shitposting on tumblr.

These ads are coming directly from God.

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Some of my favs from Foolnoodle Allergist

#fma

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dude seeing these Mega high quality images of the surface of mars that we now have has me fucked up. Like. Mars is a place. mars is a real actual place where one could hypothetically stand. It is a physical place in the universe. ITS JUST OUT THERE LOOKING LIKE UH IDK A REGULAR OLD DESERT WITH LOTS OF ROCKS BUT ITS A WHOLE OTHER PLANET? 

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When you were young, your mother used to read you an old fairytale every night before bed.

It was a sad story, about lovers who walked through hell to reunite with one another and almost succeeded, only to be separated again forever in the last moment. It made you cry, and the next night you would beg your mom to read it again.

"You know it'll be sad, right?"

"This time they'll win, mom! This time they'll have a happy ending!"

But they didn't. Nor did they win in the next night, or the night after that.

Deep down, logically, you knew it'll always end the same way. The story is done. It's been told long before you were born. But when mom was telling it, you could pretend that maybe this time it'll work out. This time will be different.

When you grew older you didn't stop pretending, even though you knew it was silly and getting sillier. When you learned to read and write, one of the first things you wrote was a new ending. It was bad, about you as an all-powerful angel coming down to help the lovers reunite and then you get invited to their wedding.

"It's not real, it's fanfic." a friend told you when you showed them. They explained the word, and you saw what they meant. But you didn't care, seeing the words on the page helped you pretend.

You read voraciously as you grew. All kinds of stories with all kinds of ending. But you kept coming back to that one. Reading from your mom's old copy which her read to her from.

You didn't need mom to read to you anymore, but sometimes you asked her to anyway. Occasionally she'd do it, but more often than not she was tired.

Soon she stopped reading. Then she stopped speaking altogether, her voice too weak and throat too sick to speak aloud. That's when you started reading the story to her.

It was hard at first, your tears choking you up. It was hard pretending that the story will end differently.

"The diagnoses are just estimates, probabilities." your dad said. And when he spoke, you could pretend there was a chance. But when the doctors spoke, their words felt as final and unchanging as the old words in the storybook.

Eventually, mom was no more. Your dad read something personal and touching in her funeral. Everyone thought you would, too. Everyone knew how much you loved writing since you were little.

You thought you would write too, imagined it in your mind as your mother's end drew near. You had so much to say, but the words wouldn't come out. The only words that would come to you were from the story. You tried to bat them away, but you knew you couldn't. You couldn't change this ending.

When it came your time to eulogize, you pulled out the book and without preamble started reading from the second-to-last page. This time there was no pretending.

Everyone knew the story, even the people who didn't know mom personally. Everyone knew it will end in tragedy. The lovers will not get a happy ending.

Except this time they did.

You didn't notice the change until you were halfway through the final page, so out of it you were. But the reactions from the mourning crowd clued you in. Your stoic dad choking down a chuckle.

You looked closely at the book and saw the words were written in your mom's neat handwriting.

You kept on reading, a smile on your face.

It wasn't the real ending. It was fanfic.

But just for a little while, seeing the words on the page helped you pretend a little longer.

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found you a new hat.

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Nosy Jeff used to be your friend.

He wasn’t your best friend at first, always the third or fourth member of your little school gang. But as the years went on, he stuck by you, and you stuck by him.

Nosy Jeff was called Nosy Jeff because he was always up in somebody’s business. Always sharing gossip or shittalking somebody. That’s why he was always handy to have around in your friend group.

He was the one who told the whole class about Joey losing his virginity to a senior. He was the one who told you in private about your best friend at the time writing a love note to your girlfriend (which he fortunately never sent).

Nosy Jeff never got into your business or shittalked you, though. You appreciated that about him, when you think back about it. You never really thought about it at the time. It just seemed natural that of all the people he gossiped about, it wouldn’t be you.

Nosy Jeff was your college roommate. Not at first. He was studying something else half a country away. But after the first year, he moved back home, joined your college and he became your roommate. He was much cleaner and more considerate than the previous roommate, so you didn’t mind.

In fact, he had a plethora of new gossip to share at the new school. Even less than a week after coming there, he was already well versed in the ins and outs of the student body and even the staff. You had a great laugh with him about all the crazy stuff he found out about from one place or another.

Nosy Jeff is how you met the woman who would be your wife. She was named as one of his frequent sources for gossip, especially about the various sororities. You asked him about her frequently, but he usually changed the subject whenever you did and started talking about something else. You didn’t pay too much mind to it at the time, you just kept laughing with him.

By happenstance, you met her one day going back from class. She recognized you from the way Jeff described you, and you figured out she was the source.

That 5 minute walk became a 10 minutes stroll, and then a 1 hour sit-down as you sat and talked to her. She was wonderful, and you were wonderful with her. You talked about school, and life, and gossip, and Jeff. By the time the sun went down, she asked you out for coffee the next morning. Naturally, you agreed.

By the time you graduated college, Nosy Jeff was your best friend, and she was your fiancee. You were planning to move together and get married within a year. When you asked Jeff to be your best man, he was ecstatic.

You moved to a small apartment out of town. Jeff kept in touch, but he was busy with his studies and his own life. Starting out a new life was difficult, but you tried to find the time to talk to Jeff. He was excited to hear your voice, or at least at first. As time went on, he was busier and busier, and found new excuses not to talk to you. Eventually, he barely picked up the phone.

But every time you did speak, it was like you never been apart for a moment. The laughs were rolling and the gossip flowing. So you didn’t think about it too much.

On your wedding night, your heart was pumping fast, your mind was racing. You were surrounded by people you didn’t really know and your heartbeat was almost as fast as the sound of chatting and yammering around you. You needed something to anchor you down. Luckily, you found Jeff.

At this point you have barely seen him in the flesh for over a year, and his face was like an oasis in a desert of strangers. Jeff seemed a bit down, though. His usual smile was replaced with a neutral and thoughtful face, and he had grown quite a beard.

You hit it off pretty well at first, chuckling and laughing, catching up. He was more quiet than you remembered though. He looked off into the distance. You asked him jokingly if he had any gossip about your bride-to-be’s family, but he just sighed.

“Do you remember in high school, Brandon’s note?” he asked you. You raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, what a dick, right?” you chuckled.

“Yeah, I was. I was a real dunderhead.” he looked off into the distance again.

“What?”

“I wrote that note. And not to Emily. I wrote it for you. I thought if I lied to you, I could get you to read it. Read my feelings. It was a dick move. I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” is all you managed to say.

The rest of the wedding went off without a hitch. Jeff was there. And then at the reception, he came up with an excuse to leave.

You haven’t seen him since. He doesn’t answer your calls either.

You try not to think about it. Focus on your family life, your job, your wife, your children. But occassionally, your thoughts come back to Nosy Jeff.

Because Nosy Jeff used to be your friend.

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(via)

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Some Bubbline art and a Fionna for practice and funs

#fionna and cake #adventure time #bubbline

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Pros of hyperfixiation:

Happy!

Art ideas

Life is good

Cons of hyperfixiation:

I am going to blow up

All my art is of the same guy

If I don't think about this 24/7 I get violent

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reminder that donating just a few $ to gofundme campaigns actually helps, you don't have to donate huge amounts if you don't have the funds, every little bit is useful. give $10, $5, even $1. it all adds up. don't scroll past because you think you can't help. help in your own capacity. donate a dollar. share and speak up.

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Other polls have found Tumblr users to be mostly 18-45 so here's a poll to get into the grit of that range.

#haha #it's just the same ppl its always been 😂

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Our golden boy

#welcome home

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I just have this loose sketch from a page of random doodles that got left behind for some reason so I'm posting it now asdkjfads

#adorable