captainofthenautilus

[captainofthenautilus]

if ur confused about why animal people advocate for keeping your pets at a "healthy weight" but sometimes also in the same breath will advocate against human diet culture, its because we know what body condition a cat is supposed to be at optimally. but literally there is not one for humans as far as we can tell.

humans are a weird, opportunistic, hyper-adaptable and variable primate and we have evolved to have a LOT of variety in size, shape, metabolism, and weight retention. this has been essential to survival in hard times and easy times. you know the thing people talk about sometimes how about half the population are night people and about half are morning people so we'd be better able to watch at night as a group? yeah, weight variation is like that: there's a lot of latent variation in human populations because as a community we survive significantly better if some of us are fuckin ready to not die during the longass winter of death and some of us can eat their weight in fish and then run a mile immediately after. this is also why some people gain muscle crazy fast and some people don't: muscle requires a lot of energy, so some people are built to gain a lot during a plentiful season and be really efficient then and some people are built to use less energy over time and be more useful during a long hungry period. cats and almost all other vertebrates simply don't have this kind of complex community variation built in, and tend to be much more uniform in build and weight. humans tend to be really variable in body and brain, and that's one of the biggest factors that's made us so successful! there are just a LOT of ways to be a human being.

all of the "science" on "ideal human body condition" we have at the moment is almost entirely bullshit and was done by white supremacists for eugenics purposes. it's just not something we know, and right now there's significantly more evidence that there is no ideal body type for everyone to reach. recent research indicates that humans are healthiest at a variety of weights and builds, and dieting is almost universally bad for you. even if the culture hasn't caught up yet.

[captainofthenautilus]

Happy Lesbian Visibility Week!

Help a disabled lesbian afford its rent by MAY 5TH - and hopefully its other bills and groceries for the month.

PayPal, Venmo, and Ko-Fi are all @/MothWithAPencil

Anything helps! Reblogs are super appreciated!

$0/1000

[captainofthenautilus]

made some affirmations for my fellow grocery shoppers out there

[captainofthenautilus]

[captainofthenautilus]

No see results option, I'm forcing you to perceive yourself. rb for more results plus

#irl i think #at this point at least #for one: i unicycle

[captainofthenautilus]

none gender with left butch

[captainofthenautilus]

BIOLOGY: so, colors- LINED CHITON: i wanna be pink… BIOLOGY: nice! you graze on coralline algae so good choi- LINED CHITON: …with zig zags… BIOLOGY: huh interest- LINED CHITON: …ELECTRIC BLUE ZIG ZAGS! BIOLOGY: wait wha- LINED CHITON: WOOOOOOOOO!!!

[captainofthenautilus]

1. a couple months ago a publicist invited me to a concert and i accepted her invite and she said she’d add my name to the guest list. the night of the concert i was feeling a little tired and not entirely up for walking all the way to the venue and standing around listening to a band i’d never heard of. but then, as i was making dinner, i thought, “why don’t you pretend this is a date night with bill hader?” i realize this is an insane person thing to think. i do often go to concerts with friends; i am not in the habit of pretending bill hader is accompanying me to concerts. but that night i did put on the band’s album and pretend that bill hader was dancing around the kitchen with me while i cooked. and then i pretended that bill hader threw his arm around me on the walk to the venue and walked slower than usual because he’s taller and his paces are longer than mine. then i got to the venue. and i told the lady in the ticket booth that i was on the guest list. and i gave her my name. and she handed me two tickets, and she said, “here, for you and your plus one.” i was all alone in front of the box office. there was no one else around. at no point leading up to this had the publicist mentioned giving me a plus one. i laughed a little to myself at the idea of Imaginary Bill Hader being given his own ticket and then i went inside.

2. on the way home from acting class tonight, a long walk in the cold, i came upon a diner lit in warm golden hues, and i hadn’t eaten all day, and it looked irresistible, so i went inside. “for one,” i said, and the hostess said, “do you want to eat at the bar?” and i said, “no thanks, could i sit at a table?” and i was ushered to a table for two. it was a pretty busy night and i was kind of self-conscious about being the only person eating alone so i was like, “well okay i’ll just imagine i’m on a date with bill hader again haha.” and so i sat there and enjoyed some very good sweet potato ravioli with chestnut-cream sauce, and what was perhaps the best cheesecake i’d ever eaten in my life, all the while imagining bill hader seated in the empty chair across from me. and then at the end of the meal, my waitress came and cleared away my dessert plate, and she looked at me, and then she looked at the empty chair, and then she looked back at me, and then she said, “are you paying separate or together?” again, the other seat was empty. i had been sitting at this table fully by myself for the entire duration of the meal. the waitress had come by the table perhaps five or six times over the course of the hour, seeing me completely alone. and i said, “sorry?” and she said, “separate or together?” and i said, “…together?” and she said, “cool, do you need the machine?” and i said, “yes” and she brought the machine over and i paid, because my dinner companion, despite apparently being visible to my waitress, was imaginary bill hader. 

[captainofthenautilus]

i don't have it saved on my phone so you'll just have have to imagine a gif of the word "AUTISM" in flaming letters here

[captainofthenautilus]

Honestly the fact that Alice and Sam have been in regular contact since they broke up (minus the time after her parents' deaths bit) that makes whatever Alice has going on even tastier. Like ah, of course, you were happy to have him in your life still but now he's actively dating other people and you can't pretend he's yours still, is that it, Alice?

Or maybe her parents' passing and the way sam cared for her then was Too Nice and she had to skedaddle before developing feelings again and WHOOPS they're back anyway. Maybe a healthy sprinkling of both. Idk it's tasty heehee

[captainofthenautilus]

Goat Simulator (2014) dev. Coffee Stain Studios

Untitled Goose Game (2019) dev. House House

Stray (2022) dev. BlueTwelve Studio

[captainofthenautilus]

Centuripe, province in Enna, Sicily, Italy

[captainofthenautilus]

shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

[captainofthenautilus]

"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on

[captainofthenautilus]

Bestie English - best friend Bestie Czech - beast, brute, monster

[captainofthenautilus]

I keep quoting “my acocunt” for several months and I just realized it’s from my own screenshot and not a popular post

[captainofthenautilus]

what do they put in large rocks that make u just want to. stand on it.