captain-nicnac

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i'm going crazy over all the pink dogwood trees in bloom right now

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alternative t-shirt idea: 'i visited the tomboy indoctrination machine and all i got was hrt'

“i visited the tomboy indoctrination machine and all i got was this t-shirt” with the “shirt” crossed out lmao.

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skeleton of cave bear in Bears Cave, Romania

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as an optimist i dream of a beautiful world where people are fucking normal about aromanticism

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The problem Sam Reich is going to have is that one day there will be an actual technical fault on Game Changer and nobody will believe him.

#they probably have a safe word

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Bullies try and give me shit for using too many cremes and moisturizers but their punches slide off harmlessly and I slip-slide away down the halls like an oily little penguin 

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When I was in middle school we would do these weekly things called "Flag Salutes" where the entire school came out to the quad to stand in big ranks and sing patriotic songs. I lived in one of the most conservative counties in America and the teachers took the Flag Salutes very seriously.

We hated them. We didn't really clock the nationalist nature of the thing but we we hated being asked to stand in a big group and sing songs for nobody. It was boring and goofy. Thinking about it now, it really was just our teachers using us as fodder for a Mass Ritual to Prevent 9/11 from Happening Again.

Eventually, some kids developed a sort of game. The ceremony had all these little dramatic pauses between sections of a speech or in-between songs. Kids would wait for those little pauses and, right before the song started, just shout "NINE ELEVEN!" There was a voice for it to. You had to sound kinda like a Patrick Star or a similar exaggerated dunderhead type character.

It made the teachers incredibly mad but nobody ever got in trouble. The trick was to drop the Nine Eleven the moment before the song started so they couldn't stop to focus on who was yelling. Once they start the ritual they couldn't stop it or the spell would backfire and the Taliban Would Get You or whatever.

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GO PRINT OUT YOUR OWN DECK OF HAZARD TAROT FOR ONLY SEVEN SMACKAROOS

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Diagrams from a thirteenth-century version of the Ars Notoria.

#house of leaves

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‘i have to take medication because my immune system decided kinkshaming the trees is more important than breathing’ is objectively an insane concept. thumbs down to seasonal allergies.

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big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free

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do you think they would find each other in any universe

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Funny how a little beef between drake and kendrick and suddenly it’s all anyone is talking about and so everyone has just forgotten that young thug is currently in possession of an ancient staff of unknown power

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With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.

Tumblr was made by David Karp and we call him Daddy around these parts (^///^)

You are not safe from fandom-gif attacks ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Speaking of fandoms, the tumblr fandoms are always ready to grab their [object] and go to war against the Beliebers ╰(*°▽°*)╯

The only safe refuge from fandom tumblr is with hipster tumblr. If you can get a cool alt-girl to take you under her wing, you might be safe... for now (●'◡'●)

You will watch the first episode of Supernatural... and then you're part of the Winchester family. (Or if you skip right to season 4, we don't blame you. It's where Destiel starts (*/ω＼*))

This is not a glomp-free zone ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Use missing e. It's the only way to make Tumblr useable on Internet Explorer (this is the most popular browser and you're probably using it right now) :-D

Our only adult-supervision is John Green... and even then does that REALLY count as supervision? DFTBA! φ(゜▽゜*)♪

Just this once, everyone lives. It's bigger on the inside. Elementary, my dear Watson.

If you see Misha Collins staring at you, the polite response is "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." O.O

I might lose followers for this, but this blog supports gay rights, and yours should too (14 gifs of Sherlock and The Hobbit)

Tumblr will teach you more about the world than you'll ever learn in school. ○( ＾皿＾)っ

Tread carefully... we have teh yaoiz O.o. Oh you don't know what that means? Well let's just say... it's full of lemons here.

If you see Hannibal Lector in a flower crown, tell him it looks very nice. His boyfriend Will Graham made it for him. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Do not enter the dog park. The dog park will not harm you.

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Mother Horta needs love too