callistocity

[callistocity]

what's the matter honey? you've hardly touched your fleeting experience of time on earth

[callistocity]

2024 AFFIRMATIONS

YOU ARE NOT UNIQUELY HORRIBLE

DESIRE IS THE ROOT OF ALL SUFFERING

KILL THE MAN IN YOUR HEAD

YOU HAVE TWO GOOD HANDS

COMPARISON DESTROYS PERSONALITY

CHANGE OR DIE

[callistocity]

the pleasant presence of a little rat caught on an embroidery hoop :))) please give the little rat some friends or flowers <333 like a local community :)))

recently one of my friends and i started sharing books and actually talking about them?? it was so nice, it felt like an actual activity to bond over. bonding beyond chatting and catching up, bonding through the lived human experience. incredibly pleasant, I'd love to hear your coherent thoughts!!

13/02/2024

Hello! I hope we are all persisting like the horrors.

Uni is back up for me in two weeks (:0) so ive been enjoying my free time as much as possible with some embroidery and friends!

Pictured is my little rat i embroidered on my hoop and a pic I snapped at a Palestine Rally in my local city.

Things on my mind lately

Keeping up with my long anti-antisemitism and Palestinian poetry TBR

Making my neocities website! she's very baby but exited to get the ball rolling

Been watching JJK with my partner and we're about to start season 2 (terrified)

I'm sure i'll have coherent thoughts about this later but how much i love local communities. just kicking my feet thinking about trading books with friends, lending things and sharing food with others.

Anyway - I hope you are doing well and tell me in the rbs what tea you last drank (i need more variety haha)

In solidariy

#grunge academia #will become a tag because i want it #my last drink was rooibos tea! #i like vanilla rooibos more but we're down to three bags and I'm saving them #need more tea #thank you for inspiring me to start up again

[callistocity]

[callistocity]

One of my favourite english words is "lackluster". It combines the beautiful, resonant, historical kind of air, an ancient and poetic sort of weight and colour, and the absolute baby brain logic of equating something with energy, conviction and vibrancy with something being shiny. Like yeah dude I saw your recital and I don't want to be too harsh but it was so inspid and uninspired that it was like looking at an object that isn't even sparkly. 3/10 would not put into my mouth again.

[callistocity]

sunset against city windows

[callistocity]

the particular grief of losing a piece of graffiti that was part of your everyday routes through the city. congratulations "anti-vandalism initiatives" you painted over my dear friend and neighbor

[callistocity]

Cars and Independence

My Patreon

[callistocity]

the universe was made for Love by Love in order to be Loved.

[callistocity]

different viewpoints

[callistocity]

The whole self love thing is good and all but some people can’t fathom being loved. They can’t imagine there being anything good about them. So they can’t simply just stop doing unhealthy things, there’s a process.

[callistocity]

the anteroom of paradise

[callistocity]

no more of the agonies. have you seen the wonders

[callistocity]

radio is kind of wild really, the first thing we did after discovering an ethereal field that permeates the universe is infuse it with music.

[callistocity]

i have spent a few days listening to the music you like. you have a tattoo of the band's logo on your ribs. you got it when you were still kind of a kid. my first tattoo was a bird instead. i did the math - we got our first tattoos in the same calendar year. isn't that kind of cool.

my mom loves hallmark movies, so i grew up thinking love would look like a firework. it feels like one, after all. it's just that my house wasn't safe. i thought love was a weapon, could be pointed at your eyes. could lose a finger to it, or teeth. my father used to say passion is everything. i thought that meant constant fighting was a good thing. i thought that meant love looked like a week of bickering, because it was worth the the weekend's boombox apology. i thought quiet love was boring. i thought love had to blot out everything, compel the body and the mind like puppetry. i thought love looks like ruining your own dinner table - but at least you set a feast.

but love looks like a scarf. your hands smoothing it down my chest, being sure each of the edges are tucked in, worried about my asthma attacks being cold-activated. i race you while i'm wearing heels, you hold my hand to guide me downhill while walking my dog. we dance in my living room to waltz of the flowers, i show you how to hold your arms in proper ballet port de bras. you write a song about looking out of my window while the snow falls. i ask you to text my friends back while i'm driving. you play dj in the front seat. somewhere on route 93, we start murmuring about secret things.

oh. there is a difference between peace and dispassion. it was never that i feared quiet, it's that i didn't know what safe felt like. i liked the chaos because it was familiar, not because it was kind. i think i used to fear the word wife. i didn't like the idea of long, lonely days and being yelled at for small things. i didn't like the idea of sacrificing my one beautiful life.

you meet my friends and make a point to learn things about them. we both get excited about the other person's passions. you read my book for hours, squinting at the small words. i try to understand basic guitar information. we talk for four hours on the phone while i string together a garland. we talk for six hours while you write a poem. i save a pintrest tip for the summer about making paper kites. i plan us a week-long trip to maine, map out my favorite places for an eventual hike. you fall asleep on the ride home, and i turn down the radio so it won't wake you up. your quiet hands fold over mine.

when i look up, the stars are brighter. how carefully you've woven gold into the corners of my life. when i move, i feel some part of my soul reflected back onto you.

oh, love is not a net. it's a blanket.

[callistocity]

@amtrak-official please help this reach the trainnys out there

[callistocity]

“We suffer from the delusion that the entire universe is held in order by the categories of human thought, fearing that if we do not hold to them with the utmost tenacity, everything will vanish into chaos.”

— Alan Watts