cainshitincorporated

[cainshitincorporated]

Got a special place in my heart for characters who die and are dead. Ghosts, haunters of the narrative, characters only known or referenced in passing or in flashbacks

#get a little jealous sometimes bc that was the vibe I was going for for awhile there #and then I just survived and kept living. missed my exit. guess I’m still here now

[cainshitincorporated]

No no, by all means, keep enforcing inane and fucked up height-based determinism for the personalities of all people even within the allegedly queerest of circles. Keep pretending that tall people are dominant and short people are submissive, or that any inversion of such dynamics is a fun and novel concept you must equally highlight. Keep rejecting the infinite diversity of the human body and its experiences. Keep on pretending there’s a weird, rigid nature to these things and leaving it untagged to trigger the dysphoria of people because you consider that unworthy of recognition, too obscure to care about. Just so long as you don’t mind me taking a few fucking inches off your height

#via uh. decapitation. is the intended implication

[cainshitincorporated]

My blog is full of great jokes that everybody is too afraid to share

#this is in part because nobody follows me. which is ideal to be fair #but I just saw that jigsaw post again and it got me. im funny and u should all appreciate me

[cainshitincorporated]

everyone always talks about eating the rich and killing the ceos of abusive companies, but when i, goro akechi-

[cainshitincorporated]

Right-wing ghouls are freaks abt trans people’s relationship to self-harm, and as such most well-intentioned people make it a point to avoid associating the two, outside of obvious conversations about how the inflated rates of suicide and self-harm among trans people are tied to a violently transphobic society, and to a lesser extent dysphoria as enforced by beauty standards, and not some innate self-destructive transgender lifestyle. I understand this well, as somebody with more than two braincells and a mind for optics in these issues. You don’t give fuel to the freaks, if you can help it, even if it is a pointless endeavor to try

I also understand the nuance and necessity of caution and care when writing these things for a general audience. To write a trans character who self-harms does not exist in a vacuum of my consciousness, where it is a means of comfort and self-expression. Just because I like to write these characters does not mean that my habit of making all my trans characters cut themselves isn’t reinforcing a harmful stereotype by adding data to the pattern. Not all of my (or our) characters self-harm, for that among many other reasons. I can’t recall a primary character we’ve written in the past several years who wasn’t trans, and amongst them, while a disproportionate number have tendencies toward self-harm, that’s more of a factor of my desire to make the subject less taboo than a desire to conflate it with transness. I take care in deciding when and why to introduce habits of self-harm to a character

However. All of that being said. Why are we kidding ourselves? Genuinely. What do we stand to gain by pretending a relationship does not exist there, between a person who defies the body created for them and the act of self-destruction? There’s a poetry there, isn’t there? There is an echo of tragic irony in the race to change a body before there is nothing left to change. The desire to tear open the flesh and to uncover what is beneath, behind the blood and muscle, the traces of the true self that seems to manifest only there. Our bodies are malleable, even expendable. Why wouldn’t we mutilate them? That’s what they already tell us we’re doing. Why not go further? Why not search for the line where destruction becomes creation again?

These are the thoughts a young trans person feels as they pick up the knife. Not a nuanced understanding of social optics, political rhetoric, representation. Just a craving for hurt and desperate, hopeless need to change what they can’t, what they don’t know they can’t nonviolently. Before they even learn the term for what they are, they understand what they are meant to do. They understand that there is blood, and there are scars, and that this will be the rest of their life. They’re more honest, in this way, than I am when I strive to explain the principle psychology of transness with studies and thoughtful analysis. Maybe it isn’t tasteful. Maybe it’s ugly, in a way. Maybe it makes you uncomfortable to think about- are we really sick, if we admit such a link exists? To that, I say: shut the fuck up. This isn’t about what you find tasteful. You’re getting in the way of the art

#not sure why I started writing this but

[cainshitincorporated]

I have GOT to know what the click-through rate is on the fox nation comedy special ads on tumblr of all fucking places. Please show me the data tumblr

#this can’t be worth it. but then again bad press is all tumblr staff knows

[cainshitincorporated]

: )

#oh damn. yeah this is the content I’m looking for #undertale #toriel dreemurr #asriel undertale #chara dreemurr #kin tag #self-harm tw

[cainshitincorporated]

I find it very comforting to make jokes about self-harm, but given what a sensitive subject matter it is, very few of them make the cut

#ba-dum-tish

[cainshitincorporated]

Committing as many social misdeeds as I can so that Jigsaw has to keep finding me and putting me into various traps that I immediately beat by inflicting extreme violence upon myself until he gets fed up with it and gives up

Jigsaw: Hello Jae. If you want to survive this trap you’ll need to find the key which is located beneath your eyeball. The amount of pain you’ll have to endure is severe, but do you think you can overcome your weakness and-

Me, having started aggressively hacking at my eye socket the second he said the word “key”: done. Easy. Give me something harder

Jigsaw: what the fuck

#he keeps trying to recruit me as an apprentice and I keep telling him I’m not actually rehabilitated and I don’t respect him #sorry mister kramer. I’m just a fan of the sport

[cainshitincorporated]

Jigsaw: Hello Jae. If you want to survive this trap you’ll need to find the key which is located beneath your eyeball. The amount of pain you’ll have to endure is severe, but do you think you can overcome your weakness and-

Me, having started aggressively hacking at my eye socket the second he said the word “key”: done. Easy. Give me something harder

Jigsaw: what the fuck

#gore cw #ask to tag

[cainshitincorporated]

begging everybody on the entire goddamn internet to stop sexualizing akechi

[cainshitincorporated]

Shirt that says “ask me abt my self-harm scars”

[cainshitincorporated]

[picking at my scabs] heehee hoohoo texture be gone. surely there will be no repercussions

[cainshitincorporated]

If ur Akechi design doesn’t have s/h scars it’s actually not canon compliant. For shame

#you don’t get to use your dumb as fuck ‘atlus faithful’ tag #I know this bc I held atlus at gunpoint until they confirmed it to me in writing

[cainshitincorporated]

one day im going to be satisfied w the way i draw akechi and then its gonna be over for you fucks

#yes yes yes yes yes yes #little touches here and there and u get pretty close to how I envision DV Akechi #mainly the relationships with the thieves. the Akechi/haru dynamic of ‘I could have been like you’ is critical #they’re more similar than either would like to admit #also Akechi is transfem. they are. I don’t make the rules I simply state them with objectivity and perfect clarity

[cainshitincorporated]

Imagine my shock as a neurodivergent teen when I first realized that using large vocabulary and eloquent speech doesn't make you less likely to be misinterpreted, rather it adds an entirely new layer of misinterpretation I had never even realized existed in the form of people thinking you're being snobbish or condescending when you're just trying to be specific

#this but I decided to just roll with it and actually be full of myself and condescending. because everybody else is dumber than me actually #I don’t need to be more precise with my speech they just need to be better at understanding me

[cainshitincorporated]

Agnostic not in the sense of debating if god exits but in the sense of questioning the base assumption that he is good

#I mean I don’t believe in god unless doing so at any given time benefits me artistically #but I think the (primarily conservative Christian) theist’s assumption that god is good unfailingly is really strange #bc it seems a lot easier to look at suffering in the world and rather than conclude that it happens for a reason and trying to justify that #just. concluding that god (since we assume he exists) is unmoved by the plight of human beings. that seems far simpler