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Meme from old deleted acc

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A problem: *Appears in my life*

Me: Oh well, maybe it’s becaus-

ED: IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT

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Sometimes I feel like trying to talk to my friends about my urges to self harm again, but every time I feel like I’m about to I end up feeling like I’m just being manipulative or doing it for pity or attention. On the off chance I do mention it, I just feel horrible afterwards especially when I do end up recieving comfort or attention from bringing it up. I simultaneously have to swallow my shame and also try to suppress the feeling that I’m just exaggerating or I’m a piece of shit for even telling someone about it.

In a way it’s even worse when my friend(s) ask how they can support me. I don’t have an answer. I genuinely do not know how they can support me in this constant struggle. So then I have to question why I even brought it up in the first place if I don’t even have a solution or a suggestion.

It’s this incredibly harsh merry-go-round where I’m stuck in an endless loop and there’s no way off. No matter what I do or don’t do, I feel horrible.

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Why is this me?

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when you stand up and get all dizzy and lightheaded from fasting

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me returning to tumblr after another failed recovery attempt

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🤷🏼‍♀️

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A Stoner’s guide to not binging 🌿

Hi, I’m Leah! I’ve had an eating disorder for 3 years and have been smoking for 4 :) here are some things I do the prevent binging while high!

Every strain will effect you differently

In general: Indica= sleepy, relaxed, HUNGRY. Sativa= awake, focused, normal appetite.

All strains have the potential to make you hungry.

If you have a med card or weed is legal where you live, research strains you can buy at dispensaries. Leafly.com often has good info about the effects of different strains. This way you can get a general idea of how it might make you feel. Find what works for you!

What activities help me forget about eating

Being outside! Smoking in a hammock with friends or going on nature walks not only keeps your mind busy, but also keeps you away from snacks.

Sleeping. I know it sounds stupid but if you really feel like you might binge, smoke another blunt and get comfy. You’ll be out in no time!

Watch shitty lifetime reality TV. Nothing keeps me more distracted than watching old Dance Mom’s episodes.

Smoking with other people. Your friends can provide a great distraction. When I’m stoned and messing around with some of my favorite people the last thing I think about is eating.

Only smoke late at night. This makes me less likely to have the energy to make any food. My roomates are normally asleep and I don’t want to be loud and wake them.

I juul. It helps suppress my appetite and keeps my mouth busy. I don’t recommend this.

Post dumb shit like this on tumblr (yes I am high right now sorry)

Set yourself up for success

Don’t leave anything snackable where you plan to be. This means NOTHING that can be consumed. When you’re really fucked up the ketchup packet next to you could end up looking really delicious. 

Before you smoke make sure you have everything you need. I like to pour myself a big glass of water becuase I know I’ll have a dry mouth when I come back inside. If you have any safe foods that you might want, get them prepared.

Remember that we all make mistakes. You’re under the influence of a drug and if you eat that’s okay!

Stay happy and stay high!!

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Tell me I’m wrong😂

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whenever someone compliments me

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You guys dont know how many times I’ve been in school or in public and wanted pull out the “Well, I have anorexia so fuck you Karen, no one cares that you skipped breakfast” card but I soon realize that that isnt “soCiaLlY acCeptaBle”

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couldn’t agree more

My eating disorder went from restrictive tendencies and minor binge eating to binge eating every day.

And I can confidently say 100% that restrictive tendencies are much better for my mental state than these constant binges. Sorry. I’ve never felt more depressed in my entire life than I have these past few months.