bwurnt

[bwurnt]

sometimes i go out to socialise (not my own will) and then get high and then come home and then recount what happened and…

start being mean to myself again.

“whyyy did you say that?”

“that was so stupid. why did you do that?”

“you looked like a clown. how about you never go out again?”

me @ me:

#when will i stop being mean to myself

[bwurnt]

“have you considered that you start to be visually attractive to other people because you’re such an interesting soul?”

oh.

it’s not like i don’t already know this, but being attracted to someone only because of how they look on the outside has become so matter-of-fact to me that i forgot about how it could happen the other way too.

[bwurnt]

I always figure it out on my own, i just need to panic first

#me to my mum frfr

[bwurnt]

❌ dealing with my own shit alone

✅ watching videos of other people opening up to a therapist (who consented) to help deal with my own shit

#i cried for myself so much today #and now i'm feeling bad about caring only about myself while there's bigger things in the world to care about

[bwurnt]

not me starting to feel like everyday is a weekday now 🥴

#姐累了 #work tings has me like

[bwurnt]

for the first time in a long time i felt like hey, i’ve got some nice shots on my phone. i could totally post some pictures on IG now…

and then i saw what people are actually posting on there and immediately it’s just like

我不配

#everyone has gotten so much better at the art of Aesthetic i just feel ashamed #and so my pictures will never be posted on IG ever again

[bwurnt]

everyone: you know what you gotta do.

me: how is it that everyone except me knows what i gotta do?

#o(—(

[bwurnt]

everyday be like

💔

#it used to feel manageable but nowadays i find it harder to control my emotions #i really feel like i’m losing my mind #i just want to disappear for like… an amount of time #the responsibility of getting back up on my feet so ✌🏼soon✌🏼 is killing me #my soon and everyone’s soon is different

[bwurnt]

not porn spam bots starting to like posts now too,,,,,,,

#it was already a pain to report spam AND block everyone of them #last time it was just random follows #but now i gotta sift through likes on my posts too? #im tears

[bwurnt]

18/5 car accident has my emotions like 🎢👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼

- i was wrong 😭

- no, clearly they are

- oh ok 😄👍🏼

- oh wait no, no you’re wrong.

- …… well that’s no good. i went around telling everyone i wasn’t wrong.

- well you wrong.

- *confusion*

- *frustration*

- *blames self for assuming things wrongly again*

- *only tears*

- *SHAME*

#o(—(

[bwurnt]

it’s been a day and my mind is still asdfghjkl from watching them live 🥹

CRYING SOBBING THROWING UP

[bwurnt]

i just got back from watching them i’m so!!!!!!!!!!!

CRYING SOBBING THROWING UP

#finally watched them live 😭🙏🏼👏🏼💕 #last dinosaurs #city roars festival my

[bwurnt]

#OP this is so sick i love #bo burnham #bo burnham inside

[bwurnt]

i’ll just be minding my own business and suddenly it’s like i can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are Pringle cans. and burritos. the truth is my biggest problem’s you. i wanna please you. but i wanna stay true to myself. i wanna give you the night out that you deserve. but i wanna say what i think, and not care what you think about it. a part of me loves you, a part of me hates you. a part of me needs you, a part of me fears you. and i don’t think that i can handle this right now. handle this right now. i don’t think that i can handle this right now. i don’t think that i can handle this right now. i don’t think that i can handle this right now. i don’t think that i can handle this right now…

#yeah i rewatched make happy recently 🥲💔 #me @ me: get it together man

[bwurnt]

i can literally tell you what i want and am asking for and still be denied like not even a little compromise and the conversation will just end with “you can’t understand me cause you’re not on the same level” so,,,,,,,, yeah what’s the point of opening up to people.

even when i agree it’s my fault and something i have to work on i still get fucking countered like damn guys, what do you want me to do? you literally just told me i have the wrong thought, ok i agree and need some time to process, and then you tell me otherwise LIKE???

#how to delete feelings i beg i don’t want anymore i don’t want to cry about not being understood #i don’t want to envy other people who have someone who thinks the same

[bwurnt]

CRYING SOBBING THROWING UP

#MY BOISSSSSS #finally!!!!!!! #i was so mad about not being able to catch them for SG show omggggg #i will see y’all in april!!!!!! 😭💕 #last dinosaurs #Instagram #judging from my experience at hitc jakarta ​i hope they get to perform for at least 45 minutes when it’s their turn 😭🙌🏼

[bwurnt]

everyone sucks but i feel bad about it and it’s suffocating me

#will anyone At All get what i’m trying to say? #why am i always saying things that feels like it gets misinterpreted by other people?! #self awareness has me like #pls how do i delete my emotions i’m so tired of these abundant of emotions #and i can’t enjoy any of it #can’t enjoy happinesss #can’t enjoy sadness #can’t enjoy angriness #everything and everyone just makes me feel like having any emotion is wrong #so why have any???? #pls i’m so tired already