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<3!!

god damn I love my body right now, good morning and happy friday, remember to be silly at least once today

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some sites for when you’re bored and looking for new music

spotalike creates a playlist based on a song

magicplaylist  creates a playlist based on a song

dubolt  creates a playlist based on an artist

boilthefrog creates a playlist between any two artists 

predominant suggests you albums based on cover art color   

music-map  suggests similar artists

gnoosic  suggests similar artists and songs

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Holy shit

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And now, for a Water Rating Special Feature:

The Lost Sea, Tennessee

About 20,000 years ago, a giant Pleistocene jaguar ventured into a small opening in the mountain foothills, but soon found that this cave was far bigger than it bargained for. It lost its way in the dark, winding passageways, wandering for several days before eventually falling to its death in a narrow crevice, leaving behind its bones and perfectly preserved paw prints for us to find thousands of years later.

This was the first, but not the only, record of those who ventured into Craighead Caverns. Pottery, weapons and jewelry from the Cherokee people have been found in rooms up to a mile from the entrance, dating back at least a thousand years. Later, the caverns were used as a refrigerator for storing food in the summer, as a mine, a mushroom farm, and even as a dance hall. All throughout its history, there were legends of a great underground lake somewhere inside the vast caves, but no one knew where.

This changed in 1905, when a 13-year old boy was exploring the cave. Three hundred feet below the surface, he crawled through a narrow tunnel, and found himself standing in an enormous, half-submerged chasm. It was so large, in fact, that his light illuminated nothing but water. He began to throw balls of mud in an attempt to find the walls of the cavern, but he only heard splashing in response.

We now know that this lake is about four and a half acres, making it the largest underground lake in North America and the second largest in the world. But that’s only on the surface.

Diving explorations have revealed that this lake is seemingly bottomless. Beneath the ethereal water lies a series of caverns so deep that no end has been found. Divers have mapped about 1,500 feet in depth in just one of the main passageways. One diver, descending into a previously unknown chamber with a sonar device, hugged the wall and took readings all around him. There was nothing but more water in every direction.

At present, there are no further plans to continue exploration, due to the hazardous conditions in the depths of the sea. It seems, then, that the true scope of this lake may forever remain a mystery. Perhaps it is best that we leave alone this strange, bottomless abyss far beneath the ancient Appalachian mountains, to remain as dark and unknown as it was when that jaguar took its first ill-fated steps inside.

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That's okay too, loveli. Healing is a process. To love is easy when the world is gentle with you. You are allowed feel bitter, you're allowed be angry and upset at people who do bad things, or who hurt you. It doesn't make you a bad person. It only makes you a person.

Growth is a journey, kindness and love and forgiveness are hard.

Something my mom said once, she was quoting Buffy, is that forgiveness is an act of compassion. You don't forgive someone because they deserve it, you do it because they need it.

These people, they don't deserve your compassion. If you give it, you do so freely and without obligation.

I am a beacon of light, but no one has hurt me. Or, if they tried, it went right over my head. The kind of person you're talking about, who looks at the universe with love, who accepts past cruelty with equanimity, it's someone who has processed their trauma, accepted it, and moved past it. My trauma was not an individual person's doing, it wasn't reflected at an individual. I held bitterness towards my parents, myself, my society. I was angry I didn't get to be a kid, unafraid of people, unafraid of being in a room alone with someone. I was so frustrated and sad and I was grieving opportunities I had lost, opportunities to feel safe, to feel seen, to connect to people. I was also grieving myself. My little kid self who always felt so afraid, and thought there was something wrong with them.

I think bitterness is just,, a stage of healing. It's in between trauma and forgiveness, not that forgiveness is necessarily an end-goal. Again, it is not an obligation.

I wish I had a magical answer,, or something not so stereotypical. I met people who genuinely cared about me, about my boundaries and what I wanted, who encouraged me to ask for what I needed. And I knew it would be okay. I was honest, forthright, and I wore my heart on my sleeve every day. I told people I was afraid, I told people I was struggling, and they hugged me and held me hand and said "I love you." And i knew it would be okay. I gave most of my trust freely, I allowed people to see when I felt small, though I still held my fears close to my heart, and deep inside, where the logic can't reach, I was afraid. Not of everyone, not all the time. But enough.

I met this guy. He's sweet, and awkward, and he asks me about my boundaries. I know he cares about what I want. It actually feels comfy, to be around him.

In the past few months, I felt it shift a little, down where logic can't reach.

I'm passing people in the hallways, I'm making eye contact at the grocery store, and in my head, I go *that's a person!!*

Like a whole person. I know, deep down, that they have feelings. That they care and worry about things, they have people who love them and things they're afraid of. And today, I am okay.

I'm really that person now, who sees the goodness and acts on it. I'm still working on my fear, but. But now I can see the people💙

I don't think I have a very good answer on how to get here. My trauma is different from your trauma, my healing was different, the people around me are different. The only solid advice I can give is that there isn't anything wrong with you; be gentle with yourself. Maybe you don't "deserve" it, but you need it.

I want to be the kind of person who no matter what they help others, they don't hurt anyone purposely, the see the good and kindness in other and no matter what happens to them they don't go bitter.

but I can't not be bitter with the people who hurt me. I can't help but be angry because I trusted them and i opened up but they hurt me. I cared about them and was trying to help them be happy but they didn't seem to care.

I care about people so deeply but it hurts to care.

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Wait for the dancing 💃🏻 sun ☀️ rays 😍

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There’s a little rat inside your head.

This rat doesn’t know anything, but it knows that sometimes snacks fall into its cage, and sometimes the floor shocks its feet.  It likes the snacks, and it hates the shocks.  It will tell you to do things that produce snacks, and it will tell you not to do things that produce shocks.

This little rat is not the only power inside your head, and it might not be the strongest, but it’s there and it has influence.

So pay attention to how you’re treating the little rat.

If every time you learn something new, you say to yourself “ugh, I’m so ignorant for not already knowing this,” you’re shocking the rat.  You’re teaching it to be afraid of learning new things, to associate it with embarrassment and self-criticism.

Remember to feed the rat instead.  Tell it “now I know, and that is good,” and let it eat its snack in peace.

If every time you take care of yourself and your home, you say to yourself “ugh, I never do this enough, and I’ll never get it right,” you’re shocking the rat.  You’re teaching the rat that it was safer when you didn’t try to take care of things.

Feed the rat instead.  Praise what you have done, forgive what you haven’t, so the rat can feel safe.

When the rat takes a step in the right direction, even if the step is too small or slow or not in quite the right direction, feed it.  Don’t shock it for being imperfect; it’ll only learn not to take any steps at all.  Feed it, and let it get bolder, and take bigger steps, and give it bigger rewards for those bigger steps.

Be kind to your little rat.

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Two identical infants lay in the cradle. “One you bore, the other is a Changeling. Choose wisely,” the Fae’s voice echoed from the shadows. “I’m taking both my children,” the mother said defiantly.

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i felt like there wasn’t enough polyam trio art memes so i decided to make my own <3 self indulgence be damned

❤️💛💙

( feel free to share and tag me in any of the cute art you make i would love to see!!! 🥺💕)

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All the arms and hands studies and practices I did to level up my anatomy drawing.

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x

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Faramir said fuck your storyline

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How DARE Tolkien omit in the final draft the information that the traditional hobbit marriage custom is to have unspoken vibes for years and then disappear without explanation for an indeterminate length of time!?

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reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about

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CHICKEN DIVERSITY MASTERPOST