bramblequeer

[bramblequeer]

spider pronouns it/ze/bit/xe

#scrolled past then actually read the post aloud and lost it

[bramblequeer]

Sent the longest text ever to The Boy who I believe confessed his feelings to me last night. I’ve had a whole letter to him ready to go since January explaining that I’m trans and aro ace and I feel a bit sick now I’ve sent it but ho hum it’s done now

#why does everything have to be so complicated #time to blast some asoiaf audiobook and paint my woes away #or maybe mcr? I could do that instead #my own post

[bramblequeer]

*kisses you while you're in the middle of infodumping* Sorry, you're just being really sexy right now. Continue.

[bramblequeer]

When I first heard the word asexual over a decade ago, as a teenager dealing with the twin manifestations of compulsory sexuality that are purity culture and hookup culture, it was a weight off of my back. It was a light in the darkness that said you do not ever have to compromise on this boundary. Not now, not later, not ever. You can live a life where your body only belongs to you and no one else can tell you what to do with it.

This is the most important thing we can fight for, in my opinion. A world where everyone can do whatever they want with their own bodies forever— including never have sex.

There is no sexual freedom without indefinite refusal. Those who choose indefinite refusal are not your enemy. You only stand to gain from recognizing and fighting for us.

#asexual is the only part of my queer identity that I have never questioned #I learned people could be asexual and I immediately knew that I was part of that #(I did identify as demi/grace for a while but that was more of a ‘unwilling to accept a definite immediately’ rather than actual doubt) #I have been willing to bend my boundaries regarding romance and even questioned bending my boundaries re gender but I have NEVER considered #not being asexual and firm about that. the idea of having sex personally makes me so uncomfortable. the idea that someone might see me as #‘sexy’ revolts me. I might have sex in my life who knows. BUT I know that if I do it will be on my terms #and with someone who respects that I am asexual and experimentation won’t change that #being ace isn’t something I think about often because I forget that to others it’s not that obvious #to me there is no other way of existing. I cannot see a life where I am not asexual. it’s such an integral part of myself #caint

[bramblequeer]

My gender is a little girl making crafts in the sun, every man I’ve ever admired, being a horsegirl in my formative years, faggotry, and hugs.

#it’s like. I’m not a woman but somewhere underneath the leather jacket is the remnants of the little girl I once was #new gender dropped #draft saved April 3rd. not that I have ANY recollection of it #my own post

[bramblequeer]

guy in the club on his phone squinting at a wikipedia article and then holding both his hands out making L shapes with his fingers to figure out his right from left so he knows if the guy with the hankys in his pocket is a top or a bottom

[bramblequeer]

The 2024 Gender Census is now open!

[ Link to survey ]

The 11th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th June 2024.

It’s short and easy, about 5 minutes probably.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 40,000 responses last year.

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

For the curious, you can also spy on some graphs and demographic data for the incoming responses here.

Thank you so much!

[ Link to survey ]

Image credit: Malachite and rhodochrosite.

[bramblequeer]

the right hairstyle for your face is the one that makes you smile when you see yourself in the mirror btw.

[bramblequeer]

as an aroace person with limited sexual experience, no interest in watching porn, and poor sex ed as a teen, there IS something simultaneously funny and vaguely tragic about being 28 adult years old and realising how extremely tiny your frame of reference is for genitalia and deciding you should expand this to better understand bodies (yours and others). and then you're just there like "okay so what the fuck do I even google right now, anyway"

[bramblequeer]

"what if my genitals look weird after going on HRT" as opposed to before going on HRT, when they were famously a deeply normal looking body part

[bramblequeer]

tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

#that statue probably is pornography. there’s a lot of semi-erotic art on display in museums #caint #to be fair I genuinely get turned off by ‘sexy’ content #I can be aroused and thinking ‘maybe I want to see blah’ but then when I do it not only bores me but actively makes me uninterested n #(I refer to videos images and writing here I’m not fussy they all work the same for me) #the allure is in the unknown. the unseen. the undescribed. once his clothes are off I’m bored

[bramblequeer]

They should invent hrt that gives you fangs

[bramblequeer]

🍒😉

[bramblequeer]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[bramblequeer]

the heartache of being aroace is so crushing. i was born to love fiercely and all encompassing. i want to cook for you. i want to take you on picnics. i want to take care of you when you’re sick. i want to sit in silence with you. i want to share my life with you.

but no, i don’t want to kiss you. i don’t want to have sex. i don’t even really like holding hands. i’m sorry. i know its not enough. i’m sorry i’m not more.

please let me love you anyways.

[bramblequeer]

"i love you" should be platonic by default and if you want to use the phrase romantically, that's on you to clarify

#I want to tell my friend I love him but there’s never the right moment to do so especially because I’m worried he will take it the wrong way #caint

[bramblequeer]

date your friends - by which i do not mean you must literally date your friends but by which i mean go out to dinner with your friends, buy your friends flowers, tell your friends you love them, write your friends love letters, play your friends songs that make you think of them, help your friends with moving and doctors appointments and listen to their worries and joys. love one another so entirely and i promise the world will feel so much brighter and you will have a community full of love