boymodeordie

[boymodeordie]

every single day i grapple with the question "should i kill myself today?" EVERY DAY and yeah i havent yet i know. cuz its a really high floor right? but every single day its there. every day. i wake up and its there. i drink my coffee and its there. im at work listening to my audiobooks or albums and its there.

every. single. day.

#one of these days #very very very soon #VERY soon #its gonna stick #this summer #gonna kill myself this summer :)

[boymodeordie]

I feel like I keep doing everything wrong

[boymodeordie]

[boymodeordie]

nothing convinces me that im not really a woman more than posts by trans women about their sexuality

#im not like you #trasngender #im a freak #i should kill myself haha

[boymodeordie]

dont think im going to be around much longer

[boymodeordie]

#fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou

[boymodeordie]

i cant do anything and i feel like i dont exist

#no desires no feelings no anything #im just here #got nothing going on #brain is fried #im dead #im already dead #im fucking dead #i should end it

[boymodeordie]

my body hates me and thera nothing i can do about it

#hrt didnt do shit #and im too stupid to deal with everything necessary to get surgery #i dont care anymore #i want to die #dysphoria

[boymodeordie]

i wish i could reclaim womanhood as easily as every single transmasc ive ever met seems to

[boymodeordie]

fuck passing bitches

#lucky horse blinder cunts #i dont wish harm on you but i do wish perspective and empathy #because none of you fucking have any of either when it comes to your non passing sisters

[boymodeordie]

[boymodeordie]

[boymodeordie]

im never going to not be able to be seen as a man huh

#forever and ever a clockable bitch no matter what

[boymodeordie]

the problem with having been hurt is that by the time you recover and are ready to love someone Like That again, youre also ready to be hurt again. and so, on some level, you're expecting it. you want to love freely but no love will ever be as free as your first because only then did u not understand the pain of heartbreak.

#heartbreak #heartache #broken heart

[boymodeordie]

[boymodeordie]

i wwish you had been more supportive and understand while i struggled to get over someone who hurt me

[boymodeordie]

ppl literally only give a shit about trans women if they find us fuckable. including other trans women. no one wants unfuckable trans women to survive.