bounty-hunter-wolfe

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

they’re everything

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

i love when human characters fight in ways that are so so not human

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

We watched the new spiderverse movie, Void absolutely loved it and demanded we watch it again directly after we finished it 😤☝🏻 I think that was def a seal of approval

#arg #tumblr arg #wolfe #also void says hi #humans are weird #new arg #void #bounty hunting #bounty hunter #rick and morty #across the spiderverse

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

Thanks @pikapeppa (x)

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

I can never reblog that one post that's like "what fictional food did you desperately want to eat as a child " bc I had this dinosaur book as a kid and in the book there was this illustration of a T. Rex eviscerating a Triceratops and feasting on its remains and it looked like it was having such a good time with the triceratops carcass that I would have traded anything to be that T. Rex. And I can't just add that to a random stranger's post

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

I can never reblog that one post that's like "what fictional food did you desperately want to eat as a child " bc I had this dinosaur book as a kid and in the book there was this illustration of a T. Rex eviscerating a Triceratops and feasting on its remains and it looked like it was having such a good time with the triceratops carcass that I would have traded anything to be that T. Rex. And I can't just add that to a random stranger's post

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

(can't) change the past

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

I keep catching Void fucjing up our YouTube recommendations 🥴 I don’t understand why this fucking alien LOVES watching mr beast videos 😭 I’m gonna make him his own profile so it doesn’t fuck up my recommended

#arg #tumblr arg #wolfe #also void says hi #humans are weird #new arg #void #bounty hunting #bounty hunter #rick and morty #mr beast #scififantasy #humans are space orcs

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

x

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

putrid air

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

Sometimes I hear Voids commentary on things that are happening around us, and I just wanna give y’all a lil taste of some of the shit this fuckin alien says:

-*watching a shopping cart roll across the parking lot and smack into a vehicle* dumb dumb idiot… push another one

-*watching Bear and Buggy chase a toy across the floor* what is that. The toy? The beasts. What are they called again. You fucking- you don’t know? They’re like our favorite thing!

-*a Flaudorian is haggling for a price at Keeps in front of us and doing it poorly, Keeps is not enjoying the conversation and neither are we* we hate this, should we shoot him? NO we cannot shoot him what the fuck dude …it’d be funny.

Most times when I hear him mumble to himself but I enjoy hearing a lil tidbit now and then

#arg #tumblr arg #wolfe #also void says hi #humans are weird #new arg #void #bounty hunting #rick and morty #bounty hunter #space #scifi

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

This fuckin alien bullshit , do you know how hard it is to figure out who is gonna be chill about being a human and who isn’t. that’s why I keep the helmet on, some of y’all don’t know how to ACT

#arg #tumblr arg #wolfe #also void says hi #humans are weird #new arg #bounty hunting #void #rick and morty

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

no fucking way

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

We apologize for our absence. We have had a very difficult time recently and have only now reached the safety of Home. Some terrifying things happened to us and we have undergone change that we are not used to. My human is scared but will not say it. We were betrayed by someone who we trusted and it cost us gravely. Thankfully none of the Gatlians or Gene or our other human has been harmed, we are the only ones.

We had gotten a tip from the mayor that our mark was in a specific area and we were foolish enough to believe them. It was a trap, a set up. We were ambushed. Wolfe had set up a fail safe to transport the Gatlians home safely, including knifey. But we did not transport ourself. We were sedated, even if we had wanted to transport ourself away it was too late.

We are still processing. That is what the Doctor Wong says, that we are still processing. My human was harmed. WE were harmed. Our arm was severed off by that vile fucking thing. We were hurt and scared, and we fought with everything we had. My human was exhausted, fighting tooth and nail to keep the enemies away, we helped them with everything we could muster. Everything went black

When we woke again we were in the back of a ship, lying on the floor. Our arm had a wound cap (a circular cup to surround and keep the wounded tissue alive and healthy while awaiting treatment, apparently very expensive and hard to come by)

Despite the pain relief the cap released, my human was still hurting. He was quiet, and his thoughts were still. Usually we can hear him thinking to himself, his mind racing a mile a minute. But he was silent. We tried to comfort him, but we don’t think we were successful. The pounding of his heart drowned out the noises from the outside, tunneling inwards to us. We could feel the emotions swelling in him, dark and murky. It rose above our ankles, above our knees and hips. It was going to submerge us, both of us.

Wolfe. How can we help?

He jolted, the murky fluid stopping it’s ascent. For the first time, Wolfe turned and saw us. He saw me.

We locked eyes as the emotions drain away. We are afraid to move towards him first, worried he might flee as he’s done before. It’s silent, only the steady heartbeat of our body. In the distance, miles away we hear the hum of the transport ship we lay prone in. He doesn’t speak, just stares. The lull of the engine is becoming louder, pulling Wolfe back towards the outside. He blinks at us, and we blink back. We have to say something, before he rejoins the outside world again. Before he leaves us in here and we are nothing more than a whisper.

We will be alright.

We do not wish to write any more right now. We are exhausted

#arg #tumblr arg #wolfe #humans are weird #void #new arg #high on life #bounty hunter #bounty hunting #also void says hi #we will be okay #rick and morty #alien

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

the reason i love the comparison between angels and machines (robots, transmission towers, trains, computers, etc.) is that it gets to the heart of what angels essentially are: divine machines. they're mechanisms through with the divine is able to act, created with a purpose and "happy" to fulfil it simply because they were made to do so. they have more in common with a machine programmed to run on algorithms and make calculations based on input commands than they do with humanity, even if they bear a human visage - an attempt by the divine to help bridge the gap. angels do not need to be eldritch monstrosities to be terrifying, because they are already alien to us simply by being angels. for an angel to choose to deviate from their purpose and achieve free will is to fall because in order to have free will they can no longer be an angel, because an angel is defined by its purpose. much like the stories we tell of robots that gain sentence, only to discover that they can never truly be human, but neither can they go back to being a machine, angels who fall become something else entirely, purposeless and adrift and alone. it is a tragic sacrifice.

[bounty-hunter-wolfe]

Irrational Attachment

I directed the delivery guy to put the last high-tech crate next to the others in our very full cargo bay, and I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. This was a big order. I noted the final count with a good old-fashioned Earth pencil.

The delivery guy, a fellow human much beefier than I was, smirked at the pencil and clipboard. “Really living in the space age, there,” he said. “Don’t you guys have tablets and scanners?”

“Oh sure,” I replied. “But one has a cracked screen and the other’s got a faulty battery. You know how it is.”

His response was eclipsed by the arrival of the sparkly purple conglomeration of limbs that was my coworker Zhee. I was used to bug aliens by now, but I was amused to see the brawny human edge back a step.

Zhee didn’t notice. “What is ‘pack bonding’?” he demanded, clicking to a stop and looking at the two of us expectantly. “They were telling jokes that made little sense.” He waved a pincher arm over his shoulder. “Then it occurred to me that I have a pair of qualified humans here I can ask. Why do people joke about humans caring too much?”

The delivery guy straightened up, all bluster. “Oh, it’s a bunch of radiator wash, really. Lots of species are social. Really, we wouldn’t all have space ships out here if everybody couldn’t cooperate!”

“Well, sure,” I said. “But there’s a difference between cooperating and getting attached. Didn’t you have a teddy bear as a kid?”

“Yeah, as a kid,” he scoffed. “We’re talking about grownups here.”

“Grownups do it too,” I told him, barreling on as he started to object. “We give names and personalities to ships and cars and space probes. We put googly eyes on machinery, and keep pet rocks. We build people out of snow, lending them our own clothes, and we’re sad when they melt away. We have ancient history of granting a bear military rank, and recent history of doing the same to a cleaning droid. We care about things.”

He was still shaking his head and looking stubborn, so I pulled the pencil from my pocket. I held it in front of his face with an intense stare.

“I can tell you that this pencil’s name is Steven,” I said. “Then I can do this—” I snapped it in half. “—And I can watch a little bit of you die inside.”

His expression was that of a person shaken to his core. “What the f— Why would you do that??”

I looked down at the broken pencil. “You can’t tell me humans don’t care.”

Zhee clicked a pincher. “But it’s just a pencil.”

“It was,” I said. “Now it’s Steven.” I pulled a roll of tape from a different pocket. “And now I have to nurse him back to health and apologize.”

~~~

The ongoing backstory of the main character in this book. No pencils were (permanently) harmed in the creation of today’s story.