bootlegbambi

[bootlegbambi]

Sophia Loren and Jayne Mansfield (1957) Julia Bowen and Sofia Vergara (2014) Maude Apatow and Sydney Sweeney (2021)

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"Red Hood's tits or Nightwing's ass" -the greatest thread in the history of batforums, locked by Oracle after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

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Justice League identity reveal where they don’t know who Batman is and one day a bunch of them walk in on him just casually eating yogurt in the cafeteria with his cowl off. A bunch of them recognize him, a couple don’t, and they’re all shocked.

Turns out Batman didn’t realize none of them knew who he was, since it had taken him all of ten minutes and three google searches to put everyone’s secret identities together and he just assumed they had all figured it out by this point. Or maybe he had meant to tell them and then just forgotten. Either way, he regularly interacts with half of them outside of hero stuff and hasn’t bothered with the whole separate persona thing with them in years. Shouldn’t they really have figured this out by now? So what if he forgot? This is clearly on them.

[bootlegbambi]

This is actually a great response to people like Bernie Sanders who keep insisting Bibi Netanyahu is the real problem and, if he were removed from power, things would get better.

Bibi’s a monster, no doubt. But they probably wouldn’t.

His opponents dislike him because he’s incredibly corrupt and can’t/won’t get the hostages back.

But very few of them really object to his view on the Palestinians. At most, they wish he was a bit more subtle about his genocidal tendencies.

[bootlegbambi]

Damian: Mother, do I have a fever?

Talia: Let me check. *presses lips to his forehead*

Bruce: Ya know, we have a thermometer.

Talia: Do you have to be so white all the time?

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SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021) dir. Jon Watts

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Cass, pointing at Jason: we're twins

Tim:

Jason: *6'3" 200 lbs of Latino rage and muscle*

Cass: *5'1" 120 lbs of Chinese murder and love*

Tim:

Tim: you're just not

Cass, patting his shoulder: it's okay. easy mistake. we're fraternal twins

Jason, holding up a gun: yep. twins.

Tim: ... good for you

Cass: :D

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first-time parent bruce, trying to scold 10 y/o dick: absolutely not. you’re grounded.

dick, well aware of this fact: *lip wobble and eyes well up*

bruce: wait no-

dick: *starts sobbing*

bruce: i’m sorry, it’s okay. you can do whatever you want. i’m so sorry

dick, hugging bruce and hiding his face: (:<

[bootlegbambi]

was talking to my gf about my fear of dying young for being trans and my mom putting my deadname on my gravestone, and she said "i hope that never happens, but if it does, i will carve your name into your grave myself if i have to." and i think theres something extremely raw about that sentiment and trans community in general. you can kill only our bodies, but you cant kill transsexuality

[bootlegbambi]

Jily Proposal

hogwarts graduation

after the ceremony, they cross the lake to the station by boat like in 1st year (to make it a whole circle)

they can’t fit four in a boat anymore

lily and james together

remus and sirius really close by with a camera

halfway across the lake, james gets on one knee

he doesn’t even finish his sentence before she says yes

they are both so happy

they stand up and kiss

its so romantic

until the boat tips over because they are standing up

but they are still so happy and laughing

its just a really sweet moment

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bernard: ooh is that your portfolio for your photography class? can i see?

tim: yeah sure

bernard: …

bernard: dude, this just a selfie of robin, how did you get this?

tim, who got artist block and ran out of ideas (aka was benched and wasn’t allowed to take candids of the rest of the bats for his final): uhhhhhhhhh

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13 y/o dick grayson, holding 9 y/o jason todd like a stray cat: bruce, i got a little brother!

bruce, doing paperwork for WE, not paying attention: that’s great, chum

. . .

bruce, several hours later: wait, what?!

dick: it’s okay, alfred said we can keep him!

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3 jokers au but dick and tim have both killed one of them after jasons death but told no one and then were horrified when HE CAME BACK.

jason comes back to life and kills the third one after realising bruce will never do it himself and theres no more joker and

dicks just like "how the fuck did it actually work for you"

jason "what"

tim "right like it didnt stick when i tried"

jason "WHAT"

dick and tim realising what theyve just said "wait i mean um"

you killed the joker? but i killed the joker?

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LMAO Dick's just so blase about this, it's the epitome of "You know those days where you're like this might as well happen? Adult life is already so goddamned weird." like this is every day with Bruce Wayne as your dad, this is just how he shows he loves you, by reverse stalking you and asking for blood samples and helicopter parenting you in the weirdest goddamned way.

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What Jason thinks happened with Tim becoming Robin after him.

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LMAO someone give Dick Grayson a medal for understanding that when Bruce stalks you and asks to take your blood, it's his way of showing he loves his kid.