boopboopboopbadoop

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Had the boytoy meet some of my friends at a pool party one of them threw (the only other time I introducted someone to them, it went badly so I was terrified).

In hindsight, everybody meeting each other while half naked probably wasn't the most laid back option.

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My mom, when I was 16: I mean, there is nothing wrong with you wearing a bikini. But there is a huge difference between a 16 year old wearing a string bikini and an adult wearing a string bikini. And I appreciate that you are being modest at your age and fully support this decision.

My mom, now that I’m 23: You invited a man you like to your friends’ pool party? Do you have a swimsuit? Is it sexy? Do we need to go swimsuit shopping? (Grabs keys before I even respond) We’ll go swimsuit shopping right now.

#I already got one on clearance relax

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Was it anti feminist to assume a group of 7 girls huddled around a flat tire needed help or was it a feminism win that I changed it instead of some random guy?

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Boytoy: (making aggressive eye contact)

Me, wore a low cut top on purpose: … my tits are down here???

#I’d think he’s not into me but he keeps scheduling dates #I’m just confused #like normally guys are way too touchy #so I cover up as much as possible even though it only helps a little #but turns out if I have my boobs out this dude is afraid to talk to me? #still #after 4 months

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@deathsmallcaps tbh that tracks

“If Aang hadn’t run away Katara would be the avatar” “If Aang hadn’t been frozen in ice Yue would’ve been the avatar” wrong. Aang dies with the rest of the air nomads and the Fire Nation does everything to invade the northern and southern water tribes but has no luck until some 16 years later when Fire Lord Azulon gets jumped by some random swamp girl covered in mud and vines and she proceeds to absolutely whallop him. She is never heard from again by any government entity but the people of the earth kingdom tell stories about the wandering hag who will yell at spirits while eating bugs for years to come. She is then reincarnated as The Boulder

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@deathsmallcaps I just cleaned mine and as it turns out mine somehow had even more hair in it so I cannot judge

“God I’m so nervous to go to this guy’s house for the first time I feel like I’m gonna puke I will sit quietly and be a good guest to make a good impression”

(10 minutes later)

“So changing your dishwasher tablet and additives and stuff isn’t gonna help with the film until you (sticks hand deep in dishwasher and yanks filter out) clean this. (aggressively scrubbing filter) I had the same problem until my friend Mary yanked the filter out of my dishwasher and showed me all the nasty buildup.”

“THAT COMES OUT?! Oh my God there’s HAIR in there. How did that GET in there?!”

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“God I’m so nervous to go to this guy’s house for the first time I feel like I’m gonna puke I will sit quietly and be a good guest to make a good impression”

(10 minutes later)

“So changing your dishwasher tablet and additives and stuff isn’t gonna help with the film until you (sticks hand deep in dishwasher and yanks filter out) clean this. (aggressively scrubbing filter) I had the same problem until my friend Mary yanked the filter out of my dishwasher and showed me all the nasty buildup.”

“THAT COMES OUT?! Oh my God there’s HAIR in there. How did that GET in there?!”

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The professor I teach labs for and I have a great thing going, which is that we never talk. He likes me because he hears from me maybe once or twice a semester (unless I’m proctoring/grading his exams). I don’t need help, I don’t need to be reminded to grade/how to grade, I don’t need the experiments explained to me. I like him because he just lets me do what I want and doesn’t bother me.

I have one particular section that is testing my patience this semester. Two students are in danger of failing due to various issues. I am so used to private teaching for Karens I forgot this professor is the absolute king of “The students are pissing you off? The students are pissing ME off by pulling such bullshit that I actually have to talk to you. Fail them.”

[boopboopboopbadoop]

There is a girl (3rd year almost 4th year grad student) in one of the labs on my floor and she thinks she is God’s gift to chemistry. Like she overhears one of us talking about a synthetic challenge to someone else in our lab and butts in with the most ridiculous advice (like “have you tried using [literally the most common and popular reagent]” of course that was the FIRST THING I TRIED)

So today she asks us what base we’d use for a certain reaction and we respond with [very common base, NaH] and she tells us that would chew up her molecule and starts sharing this awful challenge she’s been having. So I tell her some of the soft bases I use for similar transformations when I can’t use NaH and offer that if her lab doesn’t have any of them in inventory, I have all of them and we’d be happy to lend her up to a gram.

L at this point is smart and asks why exactly her molecule would not survive NaH and she lists two functional groups that 100% would survive with 0 issues.

So we agree it would be convenient for her to try NaH and if that doesn’t work, she has 3 other options I gave her.

15 minutes later, she texts us asking some questions about NaH that are a little sus. Like things that anybody who has ever used it would not need to ask. That you can GOOGLE. And it comes out that she’s never used this EXTREMELY COMMON AND POPULAR base.

Now obviously we did not laugh to her face and gave her our best protocols enthusiastically (her reaction did work🥳)

But she is so high and mighty all the time and condescending when she overhears our conversations, oF COURSE WE’RE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY BEHIND HER BACK

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I don't know why some of the students assume the other two TAs in the room and I have a rivalry or something.

We're women in STEM (the same field of chemistry at that). We share all our technical knowledge, department secrets, and hair accessories AND will drop kick any student who says anything about the other gals

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“Oh my God stargazing that’s so romantic”

Girl how romantic is marching around a telescope chanting “SPACE BEES SPACE BEES”

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Well I’m officially old, my undergrad called me mom again

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@deathsmallcaps

#those sad hamster memes are so relatable though #there isn’t a single one that isn’t 100% true

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Not entirely sure why my friend occasionally wakes up in a cold sweat wondering who feeds my fish when I’m gone

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SHE IS ADORABLE WHAT IS HER NAME

About to pull a prank on my students by suggestion of the guy I’ve been talking to. We’re past the talking stage, but not in an official relationship. But situationship has negative connotations that don’t apply.

I want to tell my students that he got a bonus at work and booked us a summer trip to this lovely national park in Gumption, Texas that just reopened to the public (later revealed to be Mystery Flesh Pit National Park), but what do I call him when I’m telling them?

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Omfg Don Boop was the STAR of that recital. I think he recently played that sad hamster song on tik tok recently as a joke for somebody too and it semi blew up

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Tbh I’d be fine either way. We’re really vibing. Like if I met him out in the wild instead of on a dating app, we’d definitely still hit it off and be fast friends.

I mean my God imagine meeting a man who is fun, has his own interests and social life, knows when to offer jokes, sympathy, or advice all on his own, knows how to take care of himself, isn’t pressuring me into sex, and has a steady job he enjoys. I guess I’m just waiting to find out it’s too good to be true? And I thought maybe tonight would be that.

We’ll have to have the conversation eventually, but I’m so relieved it didn’t happen today because of a typo😮‍💨

About to pull a prank on my students by suggestion of the guy I’ve been talking to. We’re past the talking stage, but not in an official relationship. But situationship has negative connotations that don’t apply.

I want to tell my students that he got a bonus at work and booked us a summer trip to this lovely national park in Gumption, Texas that just reopened to the public (later revealed to be Mystery Flesh Pit National Park), but what do I call him when I’m telling them?