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Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 20

"S.T.R." AKA "Breakin' My Heart"

After a three week break, we were treated to a Season 6 renewal, the spoiling of Family Feud. And, to my great excitement, some bloody hi-res Chenford photos for the press!

All in all.. yesterday was a good day. But, was tonight a good night?

SPOILER ALERT: I'm the girl who literally wandered through every site on a Star Trek webring to find the Michael Jonas page full of Star Trek: Voyager spoilers. So, if you're wondering if I like spoilers, the answer is yes. I will spoil everything, so reader beware.

All clear on how this works? Golden. Because, I'm ready to dive in.

"This is ready." "That looks good." "Mm, thank you." "Mmhmm." "Hey!

Domesticity is just so cute on them. We've all been holding our breaths about the return of Isabel and what wrench it might throw in Chenford's way (or highlight, like Lucy's UC work), but golly this first scene of seeing them savoring the sweet simplicity of early love? Hell, yeah!

I'm also a huge fan of Tim cooking for Lucy. We've seen him cook for Kojo, of course, but I love that Lucy and Tim split the duties when it comes to cooking.

When Matthew and I first married, I asked what he could cook. He said, "eggs". Spoiler Alert: He could not cook eggs. At all.

So, there's a special place in my heart for men who cook for their women. And, yes, Matthew has learned to cook a lot since we wed.

Getting back to the main event—these two have been intertwined all night. You can't convince me otherwise! Neither of them is in a rush. Tim has taken some time off, and Lucy has been there for him the best she can.

And he. is. hungry. for. more. They both are! They wear the aura of, "I just saw you naked and I need to do it, again".

And insert the roommate who physically separates Chenford in a move that reminds me of the "Make Room for Jesus" moms who walk the floor at the Mormon dances. Yes, I attended one as a teenager. It was an experience.

Tim snaps into "well, that's annoying" mode, complete with the trademark raise of his hand. Lucy dutifully stays on her side of the kitchen until Tamara is cleared, and then that Lucy magnet kicks in, and it's right back to Tim's side.

"There are other rooms in the apartment for that."

Sugar, you weren't here for their first time, but you were here for their first kiss. Do you really believe they can keep their hands off of each other in any room of this apartment?

"I thought you were sleeping in today. No classes."

Okay, in that case, Lucy, maybe no hanky panky on top of the yummy yummy pancakes if Tamara is one wall away. Like, Tim pushing Lucy up against Tamara's door while she is in the room is not sexy. Right? Right.

"You want some? One or two?" "Uh, three please."

First off, love that Tim immediately jumps in to feeding his daughter. I'm Ukrainian Jew on one side and Spanish Catholic on the other. We feed people. It's what we do.

So, I love that Tim is right there for her. I also love that we've gone from, "How is that gonna work? You, me, and Tim?" to seeing it working. Yeah, she's got the typical daughter, "ewwww, don't kiss in front of me!" thing going on, but it's working. It's fitting.

And that's making my stomach hurt.

Because when things are really working in television, that's when they pull the rug out from under you. Drama, angst, instability, and misunderstandings litter our television experience.

So, I'm waiting for the bottom to drop out, as it were.

"No wait, um, shoot. Totally forgot. Uh, Isabel texted me. She's in town and needed to talk. So I just told her to come here. I hope that's okay."

Tim. This is Lucy's home and you invited your ex to her home and forgot to tell her!? Look, I think Lucy would have said yes if he'd asked, and I love that he's confident and comfortable enough to want to do this visit in front of Lucy.

But, Dude, we gotta work on your communication skills. Sex doesn't solve every problem.

"I'm sorry. I meant to tell you after you got out of the shower but, you know, I got in the shower."

I stand corrected. One mention of Shower Sex and Lucy's a little less thrown by the sudden arrival of her husband's ex and reliving that glorious ten... no... it's Tim we're talking about... twenty minutes.

Tamara, on the other hand, is rolling her eyes. But, look, girly, you're the one who encouraged your mom and dad to start shagging. So, really, if you think about it, this is on you.

"It's nice to see you again, Lucy. Thanks for letting me crash your breakfast." "No. Not at all. Um... Can I get you something?" "I wouldn't say no to some coffee."

So, Isabel's quick to read the situation, and she's actually being affable, so that's good. And Lucy's playing good host by offering her something.

And I know we're all a little peeved at Tim for parading the ex in front of his new-ish girlfriend, but I think it says a lot that they all snapped into their roles immediately.

This is Lucy's turf, and Isabel clearly understands she is a guest and not a part of this dynamic. Lucy is the wife. Tim is the husband. Isabel is the ex who we don't hate. (Ashley... now Ashley I hated)

"Tim invited her here. That's weird, right?" "No, I mean, it's totally fine. It's... It's a little weird."

Lucy can let her guard down with her daughter, and Tamara is clued into Lucy in a way Tim isn't quite yet.

Or maybe he just doesn't understand social niceties. I mean, did we ever see him host people at his house besides offering Lucy a place to crash when her best friend died?

Also, we know that he was Military before he was a Rookie, and we know he came up in the Training Academy with Isabel. So, maybe he never had a serious girlfriend before her?

Am I giving him too much leeway because I like him? Or does he need to get his ass in gear and stop flaunting the ex in front of his wifey? Maybe both.

"They're big time in Sylmar."

The power dynamic is interesting, because Tim is cluing Lucy in on this, and clearly taking that to her so she's an equal in the information.

Isabel holds the phone toward Lucy, too. So, she understands the power dynamic. And, damnit, that makes me respect her even more.

"We'll find her."

I love the immediate inclusive language. Sure, it could have been, "We, the Force, will find her", which is reading a little Star Wars coded for my liking, but you understand where I'm going, right?

I tend to think he means, "Lucy and I" because we all know he's going to pull her in.

Now, I'm still wondering how Mr. Metro got pulled into this from an assignments point-of-view (who is running Metro-Patrol liaison while he's chasing a missing girl with his ex?). Is it essential to this Meta? No. But it does give me pause, even as I've got 15 minutes left in the episode.

"Welcome back? Were you on vacation?" "I was on leave for a shooting. "I just got cleared." "You okay?" "Yeah, mostly. Lucy thinks I should start meditating... I know, right?"

First off, after three weeks I legitimately forgot that there was any shooting. Because the phrasing of this line is completely vague. If I didn't know, was he shot? Did he do the shooting? Both? Who knows!?

Second, we can see the chemistry these two had back in the day. I don't know that I'd have this kind of flirty banter with my exes, but I never dated a guy longer than a year and a half before Matthew.

"The famous Isabel."

Nyla clues in on what's going on right away. She really has this amazing ability to zero in on what's going on with Lucy, and it reminds me of her chat with Lucy when she caught her sneaking into the UC Conference.

She sort of talks Lucy through figuring things out for herself. And, yes, we've seen her do that before, too.

"You okay with that?" "Why wouldn't I be? ... It's not a big deal. I mean, he's... he's over her." "I know that. I just making sure you do." "Totally. Stop it!"

First off, girlfriends!! I remember a time when Lucy wanted so badly to be friends with Nyla and Angela. They took her out to a speed dating situation that scared the shit out of her.

Second, it's interesting seeing Lucy's insecurity manifest in a new way... that feeling that something about her is inherently wrong.

It's the programming of a lifetime of being unable to live up to her parents' expectations, and it's one of those things you spend the rest of your life working through. Over and over, again. I should know.

"He did say she looked good." "Why then would she agree to meet at his new girlfriend's apartment?"

Boom! There's my girl's confidence returning. Home base, right? Home turf advantage, right?

Also, how is Tamara allowed in here right now? I don't see her Visitor badge, she's not here on a case, and Lucy didn't walk her in. Does the Front Desk just let her in as "Roommate Privilege"?

"Chen! Let's move."

Now, we all know that Tim is more professional with Lucy inside the Station. But in light of the previous conversation, it did grate a little to hear him address her as "Chen". As though we'd lost some of that home-field advantage.

"So, how long you been dating Lucy?" "A few months. Are you seeing anyone?" ... "They were nice, but you set the bar really high."

Girl, STEP OFF my bestie's man. He is taken. You missed your chance, and now you can wallow in it away from him.

Also, I'm glad you're clean. I'm glad you can finally see that you had a good man. Perfect? Hell, no. Tim's got his issues. But he did love you and care about you.

"I get it, 'cause I held my breath every time you left on a long term assignment. Then you'd come home, and-" "And I'd still be gone in my head, no matter how much I wanted to be with you."

Ouch. So, clearly there were some communication issues, here. I get that there's a lot she couldn't discuss with Tim. But I also feel like there were some choices for her to close him off as a way to protect herself.

"You're gonna need back-up ... So Lucy's on her way here." "I can't believe after everything I put you through you're dating another UC." "I know. But Lucy's different." "She's not another junkie-in-waiting." "You know that is not what I meant." "I know, I just... seeing you again brings it all back up, you know? " "I do."

First off, I love that Tim called Lucy in. He trusts her, he knows she can get the job done, and we're a long way from him trying to shield her from UC work because of his hangups.

Now, I think he might be overcompensating a bit on that, but I'll get to that later.

I also am saddened to see Isabel's insecurities on full display, but I think it shows how far she has come. She was in full denial about being a "junkie" before, but now she's come to terms with her addiction, to a point.

It's something she'll have to live with the rest of her life, as every addict knows. And I'm grateful Tim is being so lovely with her, here. It says a lot about him and how supportive he can be, when allowed.

I think the one problem with Tim being attracted to such independent, strong women is that he doesn't want to get in their way. And that diminishing of himself is going to catch up to him, at some point.

To be clear, I'm not saying these amazing, strong women should hold back in any fashion. But, I do think that Tim needs to be upfront and honest about how he feels to help him process not only his trauma, but help him (and his partner) navigate their future.

"Be careful out there. It's been a minute since you've done this." "You wired?"

I wanted to call the juxtaposition of how Tim addresses both women as they prepare to go into this situation.

I think in some ways, Tim's still seeing the broken, frail version of Isabel he knew at the end of their relationship. But in Lucy, instead of warning her as he might have when she was a Rookie, he has full confidence in her.

For goodness sake, he called her in for this op. Tim knows that Lucy is capable, and so long as he's serving as backup, he knows he has a connection to the case and can be there for her if needed.

But next time she goes deep, again, like she did in Season 3, I have a feeling it's going to be bad for Tim.

Tim will be completely removed from the situation, back to holding his breath, as he did for Isabel. And all the old anxiety and pain is going to resurface because we all know that avoidance is Tim's method for processing trauma.

Also, Isabel's "Always the protector" rubbed me wrong for a while and I couldn't ascertain why. Something about that word, "Protector".

Someone on Twitter pointed out that Rosalind was the one to call Tim Lucy's "fierce protector" and that squared it away for me. I knew it was pinging something in my brain, but it's been a really tough evening, and I just couldn't connect the dots.

So, thank you, Twitter person, whose name I couldn't catch because the bloody feed refreshed too quickly!

"I was hoping to pick your brain a bit." "You wanna know my cheat codes for dating Tim?" "No. I've got him all figured out..."

She has for a very long time. Like, she had his number the moment she stole his wallet and made him wash dishes for dinner.

And I have to remember that Isabel doesn't know their history, here. She was absent or zoned-out on drugs for the entirety of the build up that the rest of us have witnessed.

So, it's borderline adorable in a "Bless her heart" way that she thinks Lucy needs tips, but it also shows that though she's hinted at missing Tim, she knows that's not her place, anymore.

"No, I wanted to ask you about your time under cover. You were a legend." ... "You want to know if it was worth it?"

Yes, I'm about to write all this out. We can see it as a potential preview of Tim and Lucy, as a cautionary tale of the worst way it could go, or simply a bit of wisdom for Lucy to carry with her to reflect on as she moves forward.

"Honestly, I can't answer that. Being undercover derailed my entire life. I lost my husband, my job, my self respect, almost lost my life. But I can't put all that on being a UC. Plenty of people make it out without becoming a full blown addict.... from what Tim tells me you have much healthier coping mechanisms."

So the joking about meditation comes back around to a compliment. Again, I never hated Isabel. I don't think she's the one for Tim, obviously, but she's not an inherently evil person (*cough* Ashley *cough*).

"You're always in fight or flight. that wears on your relationsh9ps no matter what.. but if you go in with your eyes open and you're prepared to make those sacrifices your experience might be different with mine. I hope it is."

That. That right there is why I don't hate this woman. Yes, she misses Tim and that possibility they had once upon a time. But, she knows that Lucy is here to stay, and the knowledge she imparts is filled with wisdom.

"Hey, you get the issue with the wire sorted out? "Yeah, we're good. it got disconnected somehow." ... "Babe, we gotta go."

Don't. Like. Her. Lying. To. Him. I'm sorry, but I keep going back to the "We don't keep secrets from one another", and that just burns me. Lucy, if you're going to do UC, you've gotta keelop some secrets. I get it. But this was a choice to lie to him when you know you're deep in UC with his UC Ex.

Maybe you both need communication lessons.

Hell, we all do, right? That's why we love these characters. They're as flawed as we are, and if they were perfect at everything every time, there'd be nowhere for their stories to grow.

But, that said, I feel like we're just building up for lies to bite Lucy in the ass when it comes to Tim. And my trust of TPTB with ships is hanging by a thread, so I'm choking down the anxiety with coke minis and edamame.

"Who's Tim?"

Love of Lucy's Life. Best Sex She's Ever Had. Hard Ass with a Tight Ass Winner Mid-Wilshire 2010-2023.

"That's not bad. Lucy?"

There it is. Him calling his girl by name.

"It's not like you'd come home and talk to me about it. This girl was clearly important to you and I'd never heard of her until this morning."

Again, we see the utter lack of communication. And we can sit here and assign blame and point fingers. That gets us nowhere. But we're seeing a blueprint for how not to do this.

If one of y'all is gonna be UC, you've got to have your communication down. Not just on favorite surfaces and positions, but on what matters to you as a unit so you can survive the stress and strain as a couple.

"I saw how alone you were at a moment I felt alone myself. So I looked out for you and took care of myself in the process."

From everything we've heard, tonight, I get the impression that Isabel self-isolates. And I get that. A lot of us do that.

And, yes, we can argue that she was undercover at this moment, but I think it's more than that. I think that something she mentioned in her past leads her to internalize rather than share.

But Tim would never draw it out of her. He's not the type. And so she squirreled deeper and deeper into herself while he spiraled, looking for what he was doing wrong.

Remember, he initially thought she was having an affair. Because he wasn't enough. Because he was doing something wrong. Because he had failed her, somehow.

There is the potential for the past to repeat itself if Tim and Lucy aren't careful.

"Do you want a beer?" "Yeah. Sounds great."

Tim and Lucy walk in, both beat from the day. He places his backpack in its usual place—beside the liquor. Lucy immediately goes for the fridge. They have a rhythm.

"She seems good. Happy." "Isabel?" "Mm." "Yeah. Yeah she deserves it." "Hmmm."

There's a little unease, there. I don't think Lucy feels threatened by Isabel anymore, but she's building up to something. Tim, on the other hand, knows there's something she's holding back.

They really do have each other's numbers. But they don't quite have the connection nailed, yet.

And we are back with these two on the couch. But this time we're not looking at the beer hand off from a birds-eye view, as though we're sneaking a peek into a potentially intimate moment.

No, this time the camera is in on the intimacy in a two-shot, and we're not voyeurs so much as a fern on the windowsill—belonging if not interacting.

"It was nice to get to know the actual person behind all your stories." "Is that what you were doing when you turned your mic off?" "No. We were talking trash about you, of course." "Funny"

I am very proud of him for calling her on it. It reminds me of the hotel scene where he was the one to bring up the blossoming attraction between them.

It's consistent that every now and then Tim will be the one to initiate the uncomfortable conversation, especially where Lucy is concerned.

"Can I share something vulnerable with you?" "Yeah, of course." I love working undercover. I love it, but I've never gone as deep as Isabel did." ... "You're worried you won't be able to handle it."

Okay, Tim is not trying to discourage her, here. On the contrary, he is prepared to build her up and tell her how wonderful she is.

We all know that Tim didn't want Lucy to go anywhere near UC. But we've also proven many times that he is fully aware of her capabilities, and even willing to help her study to reach her goals.

So, he wasn't planning on enforcing her doubts, here. He was ready to build her up, encourage her, and help her reach her goal.

Because Tim doesn't want to ever stand between someone he loves and what they truly want—because he never believes it will be him.

Tim has major issues with inadequacy and not feeling deserving of the good in his life. He had his weakness beaten into his head from a young age, and he still defaults back to it—I'm not good enough.

So, he is not going to deter Lucy from what she wants... but he should be honest. And I worry that in his quest to be most supportive boyfriend ever he is skipping honesty.

And those little lies these two have been planting will only grow and multiply, like the vines choking my carport.

"No. I'm worried that you won't."

Lucy places her hand on his shoulder, a natural place I notice that hand goes now that they're dating. He places his hand over hers, and I'm having Episode 1 of Season 5 flashbacks, except this time his hair isn't greased back and she's not wearing a nose ring.

"Pretend" my ass. These two were clearly already a thing. Right? Right.

"I'll be fine. Okay? I will."

He's trying to convince both of them, but she's unsure.

"Come here."

Lucy snuggles up against him easily, the two adopting a pose that previously was only seen by them. He wraps an arm around her, the other finding her knee as she drapes her leg over top of him. Her head rests on the crook of his arm as her hand hovers above his heart.

Tim does this little closed-eyed head shake, the same one he did when Lucy got him to admit he couldn't be objective where she was concerned.

This is not fine.

Because Lucy is terrified he'll bail as much as he's frightened he'll fail.

Think about it. Lucy has had everyone bail on her. Heck, Chris might've been the first guy she straight up broke up with. Nolan easily walked away from her, the firefighter texted his regards, and the guy before all them married her best friend who he was banging while Lucy lived with him.

Not to mention her parents. They were willing to love her as long as she stayed within the lines of her expectations. But once she pursued life as a cop, they turned their backs on her.

Her one supportive friend—her best friend—left her unwillingly. But he's still gone.

And here's Tim. She loves him. She loves them. But she also loves UnderCover. And she's terrified that if she chooses it, he's eventually going to bail because he can't handle it.

And that's really fucking unfair of her, but I also totally get it with her history.

And how she perceives his. From the outside point-of-view, she sees that Isabel was this total rock star at her job and things degraded with her and Tim to the point that she got addicted.

But there's so much more to the story than that. And Lucy's not asking Tim for that because she "knows Tim" and knows he doesn't like to talk things out. But, damnit, they need to talk things out if this is going to work.

Because Tim wanted to be a supportive husband to Isabel. Yes, he was terrified for her, but I think he thought she'd talk to him when she was ready. She never did. She never opened up.

And, again, not putting the blame for what happened in Tim's last marriage on his ex. They both bear blame for it, truly.

Lucy is different from Isabel in that she has a psych degree and understands that working through things and talking through them is essential to relationships.

However, in practice, she's one of those people who can diagnose others but not herself. We saw it when she was trying to convince herself her trauma was behind her when she returned to the Force after her abduction.

Lucy is missing a major component, here, and while she was trying to reach out to Tim, she actually pushed him away. Because he feels like he's holding her back, in some way... that he's in the way of her dreams.

And now his insecurities are on full blast. He's been doing his best to shove them down and enjoy the ride, as it were. But Isabel's presence didn't just bring up the marriage that failed, but also his feelings of inadequacy as a husband.

He likes to sit there and talk about all the things he should have done, how he failed her, how he got it wrong. Because it's so easy for him to see himself as the issue.

But he has no idea how to process because he refuses to communicate. And not communicating with Lucy is going to hurt them. It just is. Because relationships are nothing without communication.

Gosh, this reads like a major downer on an episode that had multiple kisses and lots of meaty Chenford domesticity. But, the hammer has to drop. And we, my friends, are often the nails. Yeah, my head hurts after that final scene.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you had some fun! And I hope we end the season on a positive note for these two. They have a lot of learning to do. But if they learn to start communicating, I have high hopes for these lovebirds.

And, do me a favor and give the people you love a hug tonight. A friend of mine who's been battling terminal cancer on and off for years just got the news tonight that there's nothing more than can be done.

She is 38 and has had unfair thing after unfair thing in this life, and it bloody breaks my heart. In a few weeks, one of my few constant friends since childhood may be gone.

And I'm trying desperately to get back to Wilmington to see her before then, because sickness and treatments on both sides have kept us apart the last year.

So, hug the ones you love. Cherish them. Give someone a call. And take photos. So. Many. Photos. It's good to remember the good times when times are tough.

Goodnight, my lovelies.

#lucy chen #tim bradford #chenford #the rookie

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