bloodyymuse

[bloodyymuse]

[bloodyymuse]

Being constantly exposed to relationships and romance, either in real life or in fiction, makes it hard to not be envious of what I have never had. Makes it hard not to imagine myself in that situation, makes it hard not to fall in love with a 'what if'. That might be the flaw of a vivid imagination. But it's not only envy I feel, or at least I wish to believe that, because envy is what bitter people feel, what ungrateful people feel.

I'm not ungrateful for my life; I quite like it, have fun in it most of the time, and strive to be the best of myself, but it doesn't take away from the fact that life is hard.

Sometimes, a project you work on fails. Sometimes, friends or family you wish would stay in your life, will leave. And sometimes, the stress or whatever negative emotion building up inside you gets you, like a snake waiting to pounce on its prey, unnoticed.

Usually, I can take it. I've taken much worse in the past than whatever I'm living through now, but it doesn't stop me from getting tired, doesn't stop me from wishing I wasn't alone through these.

To have an equal beside me, someone I can trust and who isn't supposed to leave me, would make all that easier. Even if all they could give me was their presence, I would know that person would be ready to stay beside me, listen to and help me if I needed it. What I long for, is someone more permanent than the friends I've had.

And maybe I'm wrong about this, as a friend told me, "It's better that you're single, being in a relationship makes everything more complicated." That might be true, in some, or even all, cases. It's true I tend to forget that being in a relationship requires a certain level of hard work, and obviously, vulnerability. A partner would have the power to hurt me; the reason they wouldn't use it against me is because they care about me, usually because of feelings. Feelings that I've never had reciprocated, or known that they were reciprocated.

Why is it that in the few friendships I had where I could envision taking it to the next level, where we spent hours alone either at a restaurant, in a metro, on a walk, just the two of us, the feelings never seemed to manifest in that friend? They either got a partner somewhere else, or we lost contact. Why did the 'something more than friends' always fail before I could try, leaving me to mourn a relationship I've never even had? Because goddamn it, my vivid imagination leaves me to hope for things that are too good to be true, but unfortunately isn't strong enough to give me the resolve to pursue the very people I imagine a future with.

Either way, I'm pretty sure love won't fall in my lap, but I can't force it. Oh, and love isn't necessary in life. So, I'm kinda conflicted about love right now.

[bloodyymuse]

I'm such a hopeless romantic

I’m a lover. I want to drown in tenderness. I crave emotional intimacy. I’m a sucker for deep soul sessons. I’m at my best when I’m loved and when I’m loving.

Heavy on giving the sweetest and most tender love

[bloodyymuse]

to crave a person's presence and energy instead of only their body, is the purest form of intimacy

[bloodyymuse]

dating someone who naturally brings out your playfulness, makes you laugh, never stops flirting with you, and loves you a little extra on the days you don't feel loveable makes you feel so incredibly safe and secure which makes you fall even more in love

[bloodyymuse]

[bloodyymuse]

I would take the fattest nap here

[bloodyymuse]

I hope one day I can stop believing that I’m hard to love

[bloodyymuse]

you do not miss them btw. you miss the version of them you created in your head to which they never lived up to

[bloodyymuse]

i respect the “gang bang kink”, you know.. but personally.. i’m the complete opposite

i want you to tell me no one can make me cum like you, no one can have this pussy besides you and no one can make me feel like you do

the possessiveness would drive me crazy and make me want you even more

[bloodyymuse]

Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart.

Haruki Murakami

[bloodyymuse]

being tied down to the bed while he slaps my clit harder and harder just to see how much louder my screams can get >>>>>>>>>

[bloodyymuse]

Not to be a pervert but I fucking cherish you

[bloodyymuse]

Hello everyone! New account here. I’ve just come to ramble my thoughts a little bit. My posts and reblogs might be a little all over the place. A friend of mine told me to make a tumblr account so here I am (also might’ve assisted in making said account). But anyways! I’ll try to get on here everyday and post stuff.

Have a wonderful night, evening, morning; whatever time it is where you are! 💜💜

#cas speaks

[bloodyymuse]

i love that clingy and overprotective energy

[bloodyymuse]

am i obsessed with something so simple as holding hands? yes. yes i am

[bloodyymuse]

I wanna give someone sleepy head