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blkmorticia · 1 year

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AMALIA.

GIRL.

SHES PURRING LOUDLY MAMA

Misbehavior

Joel Miller x Black Reader

Summary: It’s the first and last time you ever talk back to his face

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, post-outbreak, Joel and Ellie are settled in Jackson, established relationship, brat tamer!Joel vibes, smut: rough sex, unprotected vaginal sex, orgasm denial, hair pulling, spanking mentions, dirty talk

Word Count: 3.1k

Cannot stop thinking about Joel’s sick little smirk here! I want him to put me in my place so bad, hope you enjoy this one!

It’s the way Joel Miller looks riding his horse, a hunting knife on his hip and a rifle held expertly along with the reigns in his broad hands that makes your skin prickle and your breathing deepen.

Spring is still yet thawing the cold woods ahead of you but you only feel heat staring at his sturdy shoulders, sturdy everything actually, that you knew to be a fact, smiling to yourself about it as your own horse trailed closeby just a few feet behind him.

Being paired with him and being with him period felt right, natural, like somehow this was always where you were meant to be in this life.

You trusted each other now, able to move in silence like this, with his steady and well adjusted trigger finger and your sharp eyes, pointing out tracks, watching for signs of life, listening for infected or raiders, the two of you undoubtedly working well together.

In fact everyone in Jackson said so, especially Ellie, but if any of them knew just how much of a brat you’d been to him in the beginning they’d be surprised you were together at all.

It’s not that you and him got off on the wrong foot, but keeping him just on the edge of aggravated kept you at a safe distance away from acting on your distracted, midday, late night thoughts about him.

He was wary of strangers anyways and back then you were unknown to each other and gaining trust had taken time but eventually you stopped keeping each other at arm's length.

Started seeing each other around the stables more often, or rather you saw Ellie there and quickly learned that wherever she was, Joel wasn’t too far behind.

You remembered showing her the way around the barn, where supplies were kept in case she ever needed anything, noticing her interest in the animals, encouraging it, indulging in her never ending questions because you only wanted to see her smile.

In retrospect you think that’s why Joel tolerated your game of push and pull, why he warmed up to you in the end, because you were someone his kiddo approved of.

Funny how things could change, how a relationship could form in between quiet glances and soft smiles, weathered walls falling at the brush of his hand against yours and that smooth drawl saying your name as if it were sacred.

That was then and this was now, patrolling the perimeters together in the moonlight.

A soft toned whistle that loosened from his lips caught your attention, spine straightening at the signal that was just for you and him.

“Hm?” came your distracted hum, huffed in response while you picked up speed so your horses were walking almost side by side then.

“I heard you went out on patrol completely on your own the other night, yeah? While knowin raiders have been close, ain’t that right? So I’m only going to say this once…start explaining.”

His voice is clipped, a quiet, contained anger in them reminding you of his sharper edges, the ones you’d only caught glimpses of, heard whispers of, that visceral part of him that only raged to protect the people he loved most.

Joel would never hurt you, if you were certain of anything it was that, but there were times where you wanted to feel even just a fraction of his wrathful touch, to be reminded of what he’s capable of, knowing he could make it hurt in the best way.

It’s the thought along with the shiver rolling through your limbs that makes your pace falter, as you scramble for words and then for air next when all you were met with was dark eyes cutting a pointed glance your way.

“Fuck…ok yes, I did but it was only because there was already a group of us nearby, it felt safe. They sent someone back to get a message to me that they found tracks, a stag, just needed my help finding him. Then one of Tommy’s guys escorted me back, it was fine.”

“Doesn’t mean you should have gone on your own, I don’t give a damn how safe it was.”

“Hey! I’ve been hunting and going on patrols by myself long before you showed up,” you shot back at his harsh retort, suddenly feeling defensive. “I know these woods like the back of my hand, I could be blindfolded and still come back with more game than you, old man.”

He scoffed at your insult, another heavy glare coming right after.

“I don’t doubt that for a second, darlin. Just wish you would have told me is all I’m sayin.”

There’s weight in his words, a deeper meaning you pick up immediately and you know he’s right and there’s no denying that you’d be chewing him out ten times worse if he’d done the same, the risk of losing each other an easy nerve to strike after all that’s happened.

A beat of silence punctates the air before you’re speaking again, tone much softer, apologetic.

“I hear you. I should have at least told you and I’m sorry I didn’t, I wasn't really thinking in the moment. Thank you, by the way, for caring about me enough to say something.”

You hoped he could hear the guilt laced in your words, and the gratefulness of them too, still getting used to someone so wired to protect which never failed to make your heart flip. Nobody told you it could feel like this.

“S’alright, of course I care. I don’t wanna downplay how skilled you are either, I just hate thinking of something happenin and not being there you know.”

That had you smiling a little, pulse fluttering at the reminder of your feelings for each other, the gravity behind what he was saying.

Gently you let your leg nudge his, both your horses slowing as you came to the edge of the perimeter you were watching.

“I promise it won’t happen again.”

The softening edge of Joel’s eyes were visible now as he looked at you, giving you a firm but approving nod.

Silence settles between you again, only lighter this time with feelings eased and things smoothed over though for you, there was a leftover kind of excitement stirring in your tummy.

Your ears were still ringing with the gruffness of his voice, an antsy energy in your limbs at how stern he had been. Heated distraction lodged itself front and center in your mind, thoughts of Joel handling you just as harshly as his glares had been making you squirm in your saddle.

A low chuckle interrupts the tiny sparks of a dirty daydream you didn’t even realize you’d fallen into until now.

“What’s so funny?” you feign innocence.

“Nothin, just think it’s cute when you get that look on your face, only happens when you’re hungry…or when you wanna be fucked.”

Again, you were left scrambling for words for the second time tonight, heart hammering in your chest at the way the last few words slid from his lips, dripping with some unspoken invitation.

“I-don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Disagreeing is pointless when you know he can see it written across your face but you refute anyways, adding a bit of attitude to your tone.

Joel huffs another laugh, clicking his tongue while he encouraged his horse to move again, back in the direction you’d come.

“Hm, you were so ready to agree with me just a minute ago, now you’re back to sassin me?”

“Maybe I am. What’s so wrong about that?” you shrug and roll your eyes for good measure.

He was opening up all the right doors and you were almost too eager to walk through them, craving the part of Joel you knew could get mean.

“I’m really gonna have to do something about that mouth of yours, huh,” he sighed, amusement curling around the edges of his lips.

Butterflies danced in your core as you smirked back at him, finding your footing quick, “Oh I should hope so, I’ll be waiting.”

It’s what you leave him with as you surge forward, not straying too far from his line of sight, but enough so that he has some distance to cover.

Joel gives you a few seconds, lets you think you’re gaining some kind of upper hand before he sets out after you, a tick in his jaw and a hungry itch in his hands.

–

It’s only a day later that you realize how screwed you are, facing down the stark reality of this little game you started.

He had cornered you, finding you in the hall leading to his bedroom, a dark glint in his eyes when he tells you it’s an empty house tonight, just you, him and unfinished business.

The tip of his boot moves to give your heel a light tap then, prompting you to move.

“Want you in bed, sweetheart. Now.”

There’s a suspended moment before you’re sealing your fate, pushing the pendulum fully in his direction.

“I don’t really feel like listening to you though, so I guess you’ll just have to make me…if you can even handle it,” you tip your chin up, trying not to be intimidated by the way he’s crowding your space.

Your skin tingles, never having talked back to him so flat out before.

Then you realize he’s already got you where he wants, strong hands snaking around your middle until he’s got one on your hip and the other reaching for a fistful of your hair, gripping firmly before he’s moving you forward, pushing you through the doorway.

A sharp gasp bubbles up from your chest and he’s laughing darkly.

There’s no use in resisting or struggling but you do anyway, finding a thrill in how easy it is for him to keep you locked in his grip, liking the aggressive pinch of his fingers as he moves your limbs for you, bringing you over to the bed, forcing you to bend over it.

Shaky hands reach for purchase against the sheets as Joel slides his palms over your ass, humming to himself.

“I keep thinkin bout spanking this pretty ass of yours raw but you’d probably enjoy that too much wouldn’t you?”

All you can do is whine, too worked up to think of anything witty to say which is probably for the best.

No time was wasted, nothing held back, no teasing to be had, the two of you desperate now, needy.

The heated skin of your thighs meets cool air as Joel strips you down, yanking at your clothes carelessly, so what if the fabric tears in his hands, he just needs you bare and underneath him already.

You work on your top half, wriggling out of your t-shirt, tossing your bra to the floor, moonlight setting the brown of your skin aglow; Joel would have called you an angel if he didn’t know just how wicked your sweet self could really be.

It’s not long before your cheek is pressed to the bed, hips high in the air, the dripping mess that you are on display as he fits himself behind you.

He grins, undoing the buckle of his belt with one hand while the other braces against your hip, pressing down, deepening the arch in your back.

Fuck.

The arousal swirls achingly across your body, thighs clenching as you watch, his worn flannel falling the ground next to your jeans, your eyes feasting on the expanse of his shoulders, down over his chest, down to where he was drawing himself out, already stiff, flushed and aching to be buried deep.

“Remember how to tell me if you wanna stop?” His question is one you’re expecting, nodding with a soft whine when he moves to grind his cock against where you’re wet and eager, your hand reaching back to tap a sequence against his skin.

He seemed to approve of your demonstration, his free hand coating the rest of his length in your slick with a few dirty strokes of his fist before pressing against you, the tip catching and your walls yielding, letting him sink inside.

“Oh..Joel!” your moan is strained, punctuated with a gasp as you stretch around him, tenderly accomodating to his size.

There isn’t much time to adjust before he’s rolling his hips and pulling back, pushing an exhale from your lungs when he thrusts back in, nudging deep.

“Goddamnit, sweetheart. Look at you.”

There’s so much reverence in his voice, big brown eyes sparking wide with pleasure, so much so you think he just might have forgotten about your earlier insolence.

But then he’s pulling his hips back and snapping them forward roughly, setting a steady pace that has you panting and crying out, peering over your shoulder at him as he starts to pound into you.

It’s a sight that makes you clench around him, your ass bouncing back against his hips, the muscles in his forearms, his biceps, tensing from the effort.

You feel your mind going hazy but a sharp smack to your thigh catches your attention and you realize there’s nowhere for you to run as Joel curves over you.

“Uh uh, it’s not gonna be that easy. You wanted to be a brat so bad, now I’m gonna fuck you like one.”

The hand that had been on your hip smoothes up your back, gripping the back of your neck with a firm squeeze before letting his full weight drive his hips down hard.

Your teeth bite at his covers, loud pleas and moans barely muffled as he finds that spot, the one that always makes tears well in your eyes.

Joel relishes in how your body trembles when he keeps himself angled there, watching you choke out apologies and pleas for more all in the same breath, his handprints bound to leave bruises on your skin from the way he’s holding you.

He knows you’re already sensitive, and your body already spent from keeping yourself upright through his thrusts, ones that still weren’t faltering, but he also knew you liked that it hurt so good too.

“Joel, please I’m gonna-” you begin to sob, feeling the pressure in your core deepen only for it to dissipate as you’re eased off his length a minute later.

You let your body sink, collapsing onto your tummy with a defeated cry, turning around to face the man who so rudely denied you an orgasm, whatever valid reasonings he had be damned.

Stepping out of his boots and jeans fully now, you open up to him completely, no longer shy about wanting this so bad, encouraged by how much he seemed to be having fun too, more arousal dripping from your swollen folds at the intensity, the security in knowing he’d take care of you.

You’d pissed him off with all your sass but you knew he’d never push you past your limits and it’s why you give in so easily now.

Coherent thoughts fade from your head when Joel finally pulls you down towards the edge of the bed by your ankles and moves between your legs to guide himself back inside you easily, rough hands shoving your thighs back towards your chest so he can split you open and watch as he does.

Any sense of time or day melts away, your only focus being Joel, only able to feel him, what he’s doing to you, whimpering out curses and moans as he bounces you on his cock, thick fingers reaching down to find your clit.

The bliss and the pressure build again, making everything hazy once more, eyes fluttering with each thrust now cause you’re too fucked out to concentrate on anything but how good he feels.

But Joel is watching, studying the pretty faces and sounds you make, one of his hands quick to find its way into your hair again, grabbing a fistful and pulling firmly and slowly, tilting your head up so you can’t do anything but look at him.

“No, no you focus, right here. Right here, darlin.” he grits out and clinging to his forearms is all you can do to keep yourself steady.

His other hand leaves your clit to grip at your jaw for a moment, strong legs spearing his hips into you over and over all the while, the wet gush of your pussy taking everything he gives you makes heat settle in your cheeks and spread across your chest.

Wrecked moans are swallowed by messy kisses, the prickly stubble of his beard against your neck driving you crazy.

Everything about him makes you clench, your thighs threatening to tighten around his waist the more he gives you.

But you wanted him to be mean and he hadn’t forgotten, delivering a few searing smacks across your inner thighs, a warning that told you to be good and keep them spread.

“That’s it, now she’s learning ain’t she. Just needed me to fuck those disrespectful thoughts out of your head, huh.”

“Yes, yes, fuck yes! Need it so bad!” your wanton cries make his teeth clench while your toes point and curl.

Everything in you burns molten, succumbing to Joel’s coarser treatment, his fingers, his lips, his cock knowing all your sensitive points and playing to them expertly.

There’s no reprieve, no break in how soundly he fucks you, the bedframe creaking noisily from the movement, both of you sweaty and breathless but loathe to stop, so much desire washing over you at the frenzied passion in the eyes of the only man that could touch you like this.

It was everything you had been daydreaming and craving, sobbing into your palm by the time Joel finally let you have what you wanted.

You came hard, the pleasure drawn out for so long the climax of it shattered you, leaving you feeling soft and weightless against the mattress as he chases his own release, finding it swiftly after you.

It’s much later that you’re tucked against him, a dreamy and well satisfied tilt to your lips as you sink into his touch, those deadly, brilliant hands of his caressing soft circles into your skin, against the places he knows he gripped with force tonight.

He checks in with you now and then, making sure the comedown doesn’t hit you too hard, only soft words and praise for you now, a few sweet kisses left along your shoulder as you drift in and out of sleep together, exhausted and content beyond words.

In the quiet of his room you giggle that you swear you’ll never be such a brat to him again but even you can’t deny that if this was what the consequences were, you just might have to talk back to him more often.

Joel knows it too, gleaming eyes narrowing as he warns that your wicked little mouth is next in line for a lesson if you so dared.

Oh..well maybe you’d be catching an attitude again much sooner than you thought.

---

A/N: Eeep it is here! This one took me some time to write just cause I feel like I get in my head about writing Joel correctly a lot of the time and with this including rougher sex it was a little bit of a struggle to write at times but I like how it turned out in the end and I hope this was steamy and fun and hot and that it feels real to the character too! Thank you so much for reading!

Let me know what you think, pls thirst with me!

some tags, no pressure! @eupheme @wyn-n-tonic @ozarkthedog @moreofem @fagen @black-fairy3 @persona-enthusiast @fluffyprettykitty @earlgreychiffon @tarrenterror25 @federalchickensoup @jolly-polly @inklore @babiiface95 @targaryenvampireslayer @chezamanda @simplykenni @allaboardthereadingrailroad

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blkmorticia · 1 year

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i’m sorry with the delays with chapter four 🥲 i’m used to close friends liking my stories and now that i post my work out there for you guys to see it makes me overwhelmed and somehow motivated but yet scared ig? i don’t want you guys to feel unsatisfied so i want to make sure it is the best thing you’ve ever read 🫶🏽

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blkmorticia · 1 year

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COMING SOON…

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Mafia Boss and Mortician!Lloyd Hansen x Black!reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of death, age difference—(reader is 20 years old and Lloyd is in his 40s), might be dubcon, dark!manipulative!Lloyd, sadistic!reader, heavily descriptive on torture, 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Lloyd Hansen wields such power and influence that his household name is synonymous with fear and death, as he walks amongst the living. His presence commands respect and obedience as a Mortician who plays the Judge, Jury, and the Executioner in the criminal underworld. Despite his fearsome reputation, he is a man who craves someone who sees the beauty in death and reader will be just that.

𝐀/𝐍: This story has been on my noggin for a while and i need to get this out for next month so you might see the first chapter pretty soon! if anyone is interested in reading this story please let me know by commenting and reblogging this will boost my motivation to get Holiest of Sins out and start other requested projects soon!

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blkmorticia · 1 year

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I WAS LEAKING WHILE WRITING THIS HDIDIROSJSB

Smile For The Camera

Ari levinson x Black!reader x Lloyd Hansen

Summary: Y/N (nicknamed Honey) is kidnapped by two men and things taken a dark twisted turn.

Warnings: 18+ obviously do not interact if you’re a minor, Kidnapping, Dom/sub dynamics, Praise & degradation Kink, oral M receiving, Mean doms extremly mean!!, Dub con, Threesome.

A/N: Yes, I wrote this mid breakup. 🫶🏽

Word count: 3.9K

Flesh scrapes across the hardwood, and shoes scuff the floorboards in a last, whimpering protest. Two masked men shove Honey onto the bed and chain her limbs to the metal bed frame. Every move she makes tightens and pulls at her skin.

“P-Please let me go!” She begs, hot tears streaming down her face. Her cries fall upon deaf ears as they strip her down to only her underwear.

The masked man, Ari, pulls out a gun that was tucked behind his back, crouching down to Honey’s level. He caresses it near her head, stroking down to her cheek and neck. She can feel their breath grazing her ears as they laugh at her pathetic whimpers.

“Shhh,” Ari groans. “Sweetheart, you don’t want to wake the neighbors, do you?” Her body goes stiff at the click of the safety turning off the gun and the sensation of it gliding down to her ribcage to her clothed pussy. Her fear subconsciously transitions into arousal, emphasized by a surprised moan as she rubs against his gun. He looks down to see a wet spot stained on the core of her panties. It’s exactly how Ari and Lloyd wanted Honey to be.

“Look how her body easily opens for us,” Lloyd says, walking towards her as he records her lewd reactions on his camera. With his free hand, he slowly strokes his cock. Her cries turn both of them on. It feels so wrong, she shouldn’t feel this way. She begins thrashing around against the chains and tries to move away from the gun, earning a harsh slap in the face by Ari. A noise falls from her chest — a noise she didn’t know she could make. She flexes her leg to raise her ass, making Lloyd’s cock as hard as it has ever been. He takes his chance, shoving his cock in her mouth.

Lloyd groans and wraps his fingers in her hair, forcing her to go deeper; she doesn't know what to do. Meanwhile, Ari notices Honey trying to pull away from his cock. He places the gun to the back of her head.

“One more fucking move and I'll blow your slutty brains out. Suck his cock like the whore you are.” Fearing that her head would explode — she bobs her head up and down, drenching his cock and the pillow in her saliva. The wet sound of choking fills the room, beneath Lloyd’s grunting at the sensation of her moans vibrating around him. She can feel him throbbing hotly in her mouth.

“Just.. like..that …. darlin’, you just needed a cock to shut you up.” His lewd words make her even more soaking wet, dripping down her inner thighs. So distracted by pleasing Lloyd, she doesn’t notice the sound of Ari’s belt unbuckling. He gets on the bed and pulls her panties to the side, positioning his shaft to slowly slide into her. Heavy grunts fall from his chest as he fucks her mercilessly, gripping her hair to pull her away from Lloyd and force her to look at the camera. Her eye makeup is smeared with tears, her lip gloss stains her cheeks, saliva soaks her jaw. “Look at the camera and say you’re a dumb cum dumpster.” Lloyd zooms into her fucked out state and lightly slaps her face, “Say it with me, love,” He cooes. “I’m a cum dumpster.” He mocks the way she sounds before.

”I am a dumb cum dumpster..please let me cum!” She sobs as Ari rubs on her clit and encouragement to cum on his dick made her cream. “Cum for me, baby. I know, love. It feels so good, right?” She nods her head, too fucked out for a proper response. Lloyd strokes his cock faster and grunts as he feels himself getting closer. He grips on her jaw and begins painting her face with his cum. Ari moans, getting louder, and his breathing more desperate as his hips begin to buck and lose rhythm as he feels himself closer. “Fuck! I'm gonna cum inside of you. You’re going to be ours forever, Honey.” He grunts, fucking senselessly, pumping all of his cum inside of her.

He rubs her clit with his thumb and her sobs get increasingly louder and louder. Her body begins to shake as she orgasms on his dick, eyes beginning to feel heavy. The last thing she sees is Lloyd making his way to her with a blindfold as she passes out.

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blkmorticia · 1 year

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I LOVE YOU HOE 🥺💕

it’s how i never seen this BUT I LOVE YOU TOO BITCH

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blkmorticia · 1 year

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chapter four is in progress! i believe this is when the real smut might happen so hehehehehehehehehe 🦅😈 later on tonight i will post a story summary i’ve been working on so please give it a reblog or comment if you want me to write it to read 💕💕

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blkmorticia · 1 year

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Hii I am in love with your writing I was wondering could you write Dave Lizewski x bimbo reader

yes ofc!

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blkmorticia · 1 year

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if you’re into poems, please check out my friend’s work! 💕!

Late Night Calls

It’s late and I’m missing you

It’s strange that your near me too

The music blurring through my ears

The hollow voice that soon disappears

The creaking of your use to be foot steps

The numbing sensation that you leave

When you go away do you miss me too

When the walls get thinner do you hear me too

Does the hairs on your neck stand up too ?

When I breathe it grabs a hold of my lungs

My eyes saw you cry too

How does the corner feel ?

Outside looking in isn’t fun …now is it

Shake my hand as you may

Do realize that this hand it’s as worthy

Worth isn’t my go to word it’s bleak

They say when you stop crying your heart dies

That is an understatement to me

Simply because my heart died when I was birthed

Trials and tribulations cutting me like knives

These knives that have wounded me

Doesn’t have blood on them …whether it’s clear

These Late Night Walks may seem beautiful

In reality…..MY reality it is a few steps

To the world before my eyes becoming

Very Isolated And Forsaken

#tracie <3!#poems

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blkmorticia · 1 year

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i really ate this up ngl—

HOLIEST OF SINS 3 — FORBIDDEN EMBRACE

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON X BLACK!READER

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. Aaron realizes that his obsession with y/n goes deeper than he initially thought. However, he soon realizes that he is not alone in his desires, as y/n also harbors strong feelings for him.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. 18+ DNI ➨ age difference (ATJ is in his 30s and Y/N early to mid twenties) ➨ slight mentions of god and bible verse ➨ religious theme ➨ mentions of infidelity.

𝐀/𝐍. before y’all yell at me! I know! this one is not a smut chapter just yet but i hope you guys notice the tension between each other *cries* i hope i convey it really well in this story!

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 12.5k

1 2 [you’re reading chapter 3 right now!]

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law." - Romans 13:8

The rain twinkles against your windows creating a soft tinkling sound as your eyes flutter open. You are beyond exhausted. The only thing that is running through your mind is more sleep as you see the rain trickling down along the window pane.

You feel at peace and then, suddenly, regret— consciously beating yourself up for staying up so late. You could barely keep your eyes open, your body so tired and your mind begging for sleep. Eyelids get heavier, breathing gets steadier, and just as you were about to fall back to a deep sleep— your mother comes rushing into your room and starts rummaging through your closet. A surge of annoyance runs through you. You slung the pillow over your head to drown her ever perpetual nagging voice. To your dismay, she pinches you on your rear which immediately makes you sit up.

“Ouch, why would you do that?!”

Your mother rolls her eyes and sucks in her teeth in immediate irritation. “Girl, It didn’t hurt that bad. Stop being so dramatic and get up. get your outfit ready. We’re going to a church event.”

“Can I just stay home?”

“No,” she said with a pointed look.

You look at your mother as if to say ‘Are you serious?’. You begrudgingly get up from your bed, crossing your arms. You want to stay home, as being in a community-wide event is the last thing you want to do. Your mother quickly notices your attitude, and she gives you a hard look.

"Don't give me an attitude, Y/N. We are going to this event and that's final. Aaron has worked very hard planning this event. You will be polite and you will enjoy every minute of it." She did not tolerate your sassiness and attitude, and she wanted you to be on your best behavior for this event. What she didn't know, however, was that your heart started to beat very quickly whenever she thought of Aaron, your crush.

You'll definitely be on your best behavior, alright.

You formed a crush on him in your senior year of highschool. You never pay attention to your father’s friends at all—until he caught your eye that day at the pool party. Your father had pulled a prank on him by pushing him onto the pool and Aaron came out agitated in the kind of playful way that attracted you. It was an awakening, to see his white tee shirt, now wet, imprinted onto his abs. You've never noticed how good looking he was until then.

As the weather starts to clear up, it doesn't take long to get ready and you make sure everything is well packed in your purse. Your phone was charged and your airpods were charged for the whole car ride. You can hear your father yelling at you to hurry up as you take one more look before heading out of your room.

The car ride wasn’t exactly in silence, the radio was blasting with Christian gospel music which wasn't exactly the mood you wanted to listen to and for that exact reason, you spend a few minutes into the ride listening to secular music on your own the way there to church. Looking out the windows, the colorful leaves on the trees change shades and you glance at your parents holding hands, smiling at each other.

‘I wish someone would look at me like that the way Dad stares at Mom,’ You think to yourself, wistfully.

The ride has reached its destination; a large building with the bolded words 'OUR LADY OF THE ANGELS CHURCH' carved on the side. You and your mother get out as your father drives away, grumbling about the parking lot being full.

Your mother pulls you to the side in a hushed tone, “Now, that we are here. Please— please, I am begging you to be on your best behavior. Talk to your friends from highschool. Participate. Don’t ruin this for your father.”

You were only grumpy in the mornings. One attitude is not the end of the world.

Her eyes were pleading. This must have been on your mother’s mind for a while, and you roll your eyes, nodding afterwards. She could be dramatic when she wanted to. She let out a sigh of relief and with that, both of you went on your separate ways, with her leaving you to explore and look at different vendors.

As you walk around, scrolling mindlessly on your phone, you accidentally bump into someone. You were about to apologize before you realize it's a familiar face instead of the expected stranger. “Y/N?!” It was a friend and the pastor’s daughter you knew from highschool, one you hadn't seen for two years. “Oh my goodness, it’s been a while!"

Your eyes widen, and you quickly take off your airpods to put it back into the case before engulfing your long-time friend into a bear hug.

“Lisa! I thought you were in Paris?!” You exclaim in both bewilderment and confusion. She pulls back to take a good look at you, her cheeks red from grinning so hard. “Seeee— I was…for, like, two weeks.. after we graduated but then I got bored and went to Spain instead.”

You and Lisa were walking arm to arm now as she continued talking about her experiences in both France and Spain. “And the men over there? Whew. Amazing.” Lisa cheeks redden and she raises a hand to fan herself, earning a laugh from you.

“So, what about you? Anything delicious happening in your life?”

You were embarrassed yet impressed with how she talks about her sex life so brashly and confidently in front of all the elders that were side-eying her as you walked. She didn't care. You’d like to be more like her.

“No—", you begin, earning an immediate groan from Lisa. “But–but! I made new friends at college and we've been hanging out at cafes and museums," you finish proudly. Lisa, however, gives you a stare in return and you couldn’t tell if she was looking at you with pity or with judgment. You also couldn't tell which one was worse.

“No clubs?”

“Oh no..I’ve never been to a club. I still live with my parents, you know? Strict routine of classes, hanging out with friends, and then bible study.” Lisa nodded at you slowly, understanding the situation you’re in.

“Rightttt. While you’re in your twenties. Live a little, maybe?” You roll your eyes at her sarcastic comments, strolling along the grass.

You look around curiously to see where Aaron is. As much as you love Lisa, you do want to see him badly. He was the very thing you even came for, anyway. You steal a quick glance at him, noting how he stands so tall and how his hands stay on his hips, blue eyes monitoring the children to make sure they play safely. He looks so good— too good, and seeing his forehead glistening with sweat makes you want to walk up to him with a towel in hand, offering to wipe away all his hard work for him.

“How about this— look over to your right,” she suddenly commands, her voice interrupting your little stalker moment. You quickly turned your head to what she was talking about, shoulders dropping when you see people jumping around in potato sacks and competing in what looked like some sort of race.

“Look, if we do this and let’s say it we compete with each other and I win..you have to go clubbing with me,” Lisa sets the ultimatum, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

You were about to interrupt her with an ultimatum of your own before she went ahead, as if sensing you were about to protest.

“You’re usually good at this game so it's a fair chance to lose.” she shrugs.

“Lisa..No?” you start, nervously laughing at her idiotic idea. You're about to walk off until she pulls you back with her arms. “Hear me out. You don’t have to do anything crazy but dance to the music.” You both stare at each other for a minute, letting her words marinate before you nod at her in eventual agreement.

“...Fine. But I don't have any club-worthy clothes.” You say, emphasizing your complaints with fingers air quoting the words. Lisa waved her hands and scoffed. “Don’t worry about that, I'll help you!”

Lisa pulls you to the line without warning, gripping onto your arms tightly so you can't let go. Her eyes gleam with excitement and you both finalize the bet to participate in the sack race and if she wins, you’ll have to go clubbing with her. The sack game was familiar— you both always did it every year at church camp. The idea of clubbing doesn’t sound like something you’ll ever want to do but it could sound fun. You've never done a 'bad thing' in your life before. It's always been school, church, and whatever school activities provided after school.

You were the quintessential good girl.

The line is approaching too rapidly for your liking. A part of you wants to quit it before it eventually gets to you but the other side of you is competitive as well. “Just so you know, Lisa. l’m definitely kicking your butt." Lisa scoffs at both your new found confidence and your childish habit of not cursing just yet. “Okay, when I win, I’m definitely making you take a shot!” The two girls stare at each other with a playfully competitive look before breaking out laughing in unison.

The crowd lets out a surprised scream as Team Blue wins against Team Orange. It was now your turn to be part of the team. Lisa teamed up with orange and you went to the other side, tying up the blue ribbon on your arm. You quickly got into the sack, wasting no time. You were now in a competitive mood, although there was something — or rather, someone— who was threatening to distract you altogether.

Aaron was there with his whistle between his lips, and oh— he looks so good in those basketball shorts! His eyes, so blue and— You shake your head, beckoning your mind to stop being so desperate and to actually think about the game. The loud screeching of the whistle breaks you out of your thoughts as you realize the game has started. You sprint in the sack, determined. You were so competitive and determined to win this no matter what it took.

But was God with you at this very moment? No. Of course not. Because you miscalculated your hops and fell forward to the ground, hard. Hot tears form your eyes as you heard loud gasps and poorly disguised murmurs from the crowd. not only because it is painful but because you had embarrassed yourself in front of the crowd and Mr. Johnson! you wished the world would swallow you in whole. Aaron rushed to your side and picked you up in a bridal style.

“shh, darling’ s’okay.” you buried your face against Aaron’s neck out of shame to hide your tears. He signaled the guys to open the church doors so he can lead you in and place you carefully on the pew.

He went ahead and grabbed the first aid and crouched to your level. you watch him soak the gauze pad with solution which makes you whimper in fear. He notices your hesitation. “It's okay, sweetheart. s’ gonna hurt just for a little bit.” he was thankful that you wore a skirt. that pretty, light pink now, soiled, looks amazing against your complexion.

He strokes your thighs to comfort you. As Aaron tends to your wounds with care, you feel a mix of emotions. The pain from the cleaning solution stings, but his gentle touch on your thighs sends a shiver down your spine. You try to ignore the fluttery feeling in your stomach, but it only intensifies as he continues to stroke your skin.

‘What is this feeling?’ You wondered, it’s that same feeling you felt at the pool party.

‘You’re so soft,’ Aaron wanted to say this so badly. It would be inappropriate under the house of God

He lightly stroke the wound earning a hiss of pain from y/n. “You are doing so well for me, love.” Aaron puts aside his lust for a minute to encourage you to overcome your pain. You can't help but notice how close he is to you, crouching down and being so attentive to your needs. His concern and care make you feel vulnerable yet comforted at the same time. The way he looks at you, the way he touches you, it's different from how anyone else has ever treated you. He sits next to you, dangerously close, and tilts your head up to tend to a bruise on your chin. Your heart races as you catch a glimpse of his focused expression—his ocean-like eyes. You find it hard to speak, feeling tongue-tied in his presence.

you gulped nervously, fiddling with your fingers with the tissue around your finger until it turns white. you steal a glance at his face. Your heart is going badoom-badoom.

“How is the pain?” You weakly nod, unable to speak to find your voice. His caress on your cheeks sends sparks through your body. “It hurts, still— but I'll be okay.” you stammer out a response. He pulls you into a hug. In his embrace, you feel safe and cared for, You never want to let him go.

The intimacy between the two of you is palpable, and you both seem unaware of how uneven your breathing has become. You sit in silence, cuddled up to Aaron's side as he continues to stroke your inner thigh to soothe the pain. His touch sends tingles down your spine, and you find yourself leaning into him, craving his comfort.

Aaron's face is close to yours, and you can feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek. Your heart races as you catch a glimpse of his focused expression, and you're drawn to him in a way you can't fully comprehend. The way he touches you makes you feel alive, and you're caught in a moment of blissful vulnerability.

Drunk in his touch, you move even closer to his touch, you suck in your teeth when you were interrupted as people were coming into the church. disappointed by the cockblock, you reluctantly break his embrace, a pout forming is evident in your face. It was the only connection you had from Aaron, you never wanted to let go. You hide your disappointment with a frown.

Aaron cussed to himself to let go of her thighs—reluctantly. He was almost there. Annoyance spread through his body. He stood up, feigning a fake smile to her parents.

Your parents and Lisa find you in the pew with your head down. Your mother gushes over how messy your clothes are, rather than asking how you are, which is the norm between you two. You tune out her voice as you stare out the stained glass windows.

“I heard what happened to Y/N. She can be clumsy sometimes” Your father chuckles.

Aaron joins in, shrugging at the bare minimum. “No Worries, (Y/F/N). She's like a niece to me. we’re family after all.”

Niece? Family?

That brought you back to reality. He’s married. He's loyal to her. you’re just family to him. It was like someone hired an assassin to shoot your heart down.

Lisa interrupted your train of thoughts and sat next to you to whisper in your ear, “you know you lost right?” you are giving her a pinch and a look that mentally cusses her out.

As you head home, you can't help but replay the events of the day in your mind. The way Aaron had cared for you and touched you had stirred up emotions you hadn't felt before. But deep down, you can't deny the attraction you feel towards the blue eyed man, and it leaves you with a sense of sadness but the lingering ache in your heart. Aaron’s touch will forever remain etched in your mind, a bittersweet reminder of a connection that it will never happen or so you think.

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