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psa:    moved !

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psa:    moved !

#pinned post

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:party hat emoji:

#anyway !!! please feel free to continue or drop anything you'd like w the remade blog #its literally just to declutter my brain nothing else is changing #except maybe some visual stuff u know #if you choose not to follow no hard feelings !!! i hope you keep being you and enjoy your writing #blows kisses

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CAN YOU REMEMBER YOUR DEATH ?               indie hc based joseph oda of the evil within written by batty

#👉👈 #its all the same but its Clean (tm) and i will be moving things over ......... gradually #i want to redo some of the graphics but we'll get there we're. we're going #self promo

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in other news nobody cares about i am undecided if i want to just say the post-beacon verse i have is my designated endgame and the rest or au’s or leave it open ended w multiple possibilites

#i am doing tags and never DID figure this one out #coin flip?? idk #⟨ TBD . ⟩

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#⟨ ISMS . ⟩

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icb the day i actually want to write and finish the remake blog and have the time --

disco by request as usual

#⟨ OOC . ⟩

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@agonybow​ sent: for all of joseph's quiet subtleties, for every choice made to be discrete and to not make a fuss, sebastian countered it with a boisterous decision of his own. perhaps together, they could have made for one normal person, but apart, there was no hope. ' happy birthday, joseph! ' there would be no protesting listened to as sebastian swept up joseph into a squeezing hug, delight and excitement upon his face rivaling that of a golden retriever seeing its favorite person. ' feel older yet?? '

for the most part, joseph knew what to expect the moment he made eye contact, having sense even to shift what he’d been holding to avoid any catastrophe when sebastian appeared to claim him in a hug he was once sure would break him in half. 

“ yeah, thanks. ”

still, it was not without its enjoyment, small grin instant even without the pressure on his spine - it was impossible otherwise.  something in sebastian’s enthusiasm always had been, and probably always would be, curiously infectious, his own typical aversion to both attention and touch be damned. 

“ what, you’re telling me i don’t look like it? ” 

#agonybow #single party popper

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Madness: A Bipolar Life, Marya Hornbacher

#⟨ HAUNTED . ⟩

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@agonybow​ sent:  ‘ hey, if /i’m/ not allowed to stay up for a straight 72 hours, neither are you. ‘

“ i’m not. ”  indignant, maybe even a little petulant, his form previously beginning to slump over the desk with telltale fatigue snapped up almost immediately, much to the chagrin of his spine.

alright, so maybe time had gotten a little bit away from him, but -

“ it hasn’t been that long. ”  a pause.  “ ... has it? ”

   damn, where had he left his phone?

#⟨ I. MAIN . ⟩ #agonybow #:/

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hot take: t-shirt that says "my friends wont let me die"

#god WANTS to kill him hes ready for it #but nobody ever lets him !!!!! #ideation cw #mobile tbt

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if you date me my sleep paralysis demon becomes OUR sleep paralysis demon ❤️

#gofdddd #tbt

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@viduamor​ sent:  “ turns out people are still murderous bastards on the weekend. “       idk meme / closed

“ just wish they’d take one off sometime. ”

not that either of them had actually been doing any sleeping, halfway through decryption of a laptop for an entirely unrelated case, but it made joseph no more thrilled to be interrupted for the call. 

pity and a tired sort of annoyance marked his expression to lift the edge of the starch white tarp with the end of his pen, before stepping back to make notes - middle aged male, poor physical condition, shoe missing, perhaps homeless or assaulted first at a different location. no clear witnesses, no weapon yet. forensics would be taking most of this one.

“ sorry to have to drag you out here like this. i can pick up coffee or something on the way back once this is wrapped up, if you want. shouldn’t take that long. ” he had no idea what her pay grade must entail, hell he barely knew what her job was, but he wasn’t sure if it covered dealing with homicide victims in the witching hours of a city that had plenty of them. or maybe he simply hoped not. it wasn’t exactly a job for everyone.

#viduamor #⟨ I. MAIN . ⟩

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Reminiscent

Watercolor on Black Paper

2019, 16"x 14"

Red Poppies

#⟨ AESTHETIC . ⟩

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@agonybow​ sent:  shield: my (sebastian) muse shields yours (joseph) with their body       meme / open

dust settled thick and heavy, mingling with smoke and plaster in his lungs to make him cough to clear them. tinnitus rang shrill and distant in his ears, filling in for the profound silence��the absence of mechanical beeping offered. it was inevitable, with how little (nonexistent) formal training he had and the very bloodthirsty nature of the place that he was going to slip up at some point.

the traps had become more and more complex the further on they pressed.

were joseph any less rational a person he might have even suggested the landscape was somehow learning from their successes so far. evolving.  surely it was no coincidence this door had been covered with enough wire to make krimson’s entire bomb squad blanch, with the one before it disarmed by a fluke and minute detail alone.  frankly, it was almost a shock in itself he had managed to so far not to lose a limb or electrocute them both or --

it took a moment before the high, whining ringing subsided, and though soreness throbbed dully in his joints, joseph counted himself relieved to have them in the first place, quickly counting himself generally unscathed from the whole ordeal.

such gladness was short-lived; a small shock of horror shot up his spine to realize it was not debris that kept him pinned, but a familiar weight.

oh god --

before joseph could utter a noise, sebastian seemed to have the sense to draw back, and the notion he could move at all was enough for a second rush of relief to nearly punch the air right back out of him.

immediately, he found himself glancing his partner over head to still attached extremities, searching for blood, burns, anything that could need immediately addressed.  how often would the poor man have to keep suffering for joseph’s incompetence? 

  “ you -- ” still breathless in immediate panic and dust coating his throat, concern was eclipsed only briefly to catch sebastian’s eyes and recognize he had the fucking audacity to be doing just the same.

suddenly, he had just over half a mind to punch the man. 

“ i'm alright. ”  what the hell were you thinking ?? of course, he full well knew what the answer to that was, and couldn’t hold that gaze accordingly. it wandered to the door instead - or what had been, now a gaping hole in the wall. the jagged edges reminded him fittingly enough of waiting teeth.

“ well, i guess thats one way to open a door. ” it wasn’t funny. joseph couldn’t even say with conviction he was really trying to be at this point, but through desperately creeping guilt he felt incapable of being much else. 

#⟨ II. BEACON . ⟩ #agonybow #smh

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last of us sentence starters

❝ i know you’re dying to say something to me. ❞ ❝ you’re a fucking animal. ❞ ❝ i love how you think you’re better than me. but you’re not. ❞ ❝ holy shit. you got blood all over you. ❞ ❝ you get people desperate enough they’ll just about do anything. ❞ ❝ everything’s cool. this place is not creepy at all. ❞ ❝ you can still do the right thing here. ❞ ❝ i don’t like company. ❞ ❝ it didn’t have to be this way, you know. you brought this on yourself. ❞ ❝ you still remember how to kill, right? ❞ ❝ i knew you had heart. ❞ ❝ our luck had to run out sooner or later. ❞ ❝ no matter how hard you try, i guess you can’t escape your past. ❞ ❝ yeah, you keep telling yourself that bullshit. ❞ ❝ we can all be poetic and just lose our minds together. ❞ ❝ after all we’ve done. after everything i’ve been through. it can’t be for nothing. ❞ ❝ i can’t imagine losing someone you love like that. losing everything that you know… ❞ ❝ run, little rabbit, run. ❞ ❝ you just kinda seem extra quiet today. ❞ ❝ i’m gonna teach you how to play guitar. ❞ ❝ you think you know me, huh? ❞ ❝ and if i say no? ❞ ❝ i have to do this. i don’t know what else to say. ❞ ❝ whatever it is you think you’re going through right now is nothing to what i have been through. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna make it. ❞ ❝ you have no idea what i’m capable of. ❞ ❝ do you have any idea how many men we’ve lost here today? ❞ ❝ i might’ve done that if you didn’t try to fucking kill me. ❞ ❝ you can come around. you’re loyal. you have heart, and you’re special. ❞ ❝ stay down. don’t let them see you. ❞ ❝ i needed him alive. ❞ ❝ you are treading on some mighty thin ice here. ❞ ❝ how many close calls have we had? ❞ ❝ admit that you wanted to get rid of me the whole time! ❞ ❝ is this all they really had to worry about? boys. movies. deciding which shirt goes with which skirt…it’s bizarre. ❞ ❝ how is it that you’re never scared? ❞ ❝ how about ‘it was either him or me. thanks for saving my ass!’. you got any of that for me? ❞ ❝ okay…well…have a good night. ❞ ❝ do you even realize what your life means? running off like that…putting yourself at risk…it’s pretty goddamn stupid. ❞ ❝ i’ve seen it in my dreams. ❞ ❝ i guess we’re both disappointed at each other then. ❞ ❝ man, you hit hard. ❞ ❝ once upon a time, i had someone i cared about. ❞ ❝ you’re not gonna make it. ❞ ❝ this goes on record for the worst fucking job you’ve ever taken. ❞ ❝ you kill a lot of innocent people? ❞ ❝ you won’t survive long out there. i can protect you. ❞ ❝ the others won’t be happy about this. ❞ ❝ i shot the hell outta that guy, huh? ❞ ❝ you kill to survive…and so do i. ❞ ❝ i feel sick. ❞ ❝ you’re doing a good job. i figure you should know that. ❞ ❝ you’re pissed, but you’re not going to do anything. ❞ ❝ i ain’t telling you shit. ❞ ❝ every battle’s got a losing side. ❞ ❝ how many bullets do you have left? ❞ ❝ hey, relax. we’re safe. ❞ ❝ if you’re gonna steal, you better make sure you get away with it. ❞ ❝ no, no…this is too rich for my blood. ❞ ❝ i’m not leaving without you. ❞ ❝ to the edge of the universe and back. endure and survive. ❞ ❝ i’ve been on both sides. ❞ ❝ i wasn’t trying to disobey you back there. you were taking a while and i thought, maybe you’ve gotten into trouble.  ❞ ❝ there’s some pretty gnarly stuff in here. ❞ ❝ you don’t need to worry about me. ❞ ❝ hey, you got a second? i just want to say i’m sorry…that’s it. i won’t bring it up again. ❞ ❝ it’s the people that scare me. ❞ ❝ just so it’s out there: i can’t swim. ❞ ❝ just go! just fucking go… ❞ ❝ if you got anything to confess, this would be the place to do it. ❞ ❝ must be hard just…leaving all your stuff behind like that. ❞ ❝ not fairies though. they creep me out. ❞ ❝ we can sneak by them, even though i know that’s not your style. ❞ ❝ good? c’mon, give me details. describe it. ❞ ❝ that thing scared the shit out of me. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna be real happy you didn’t kill me. ❞ ❝ if it was the other way around, would you have come back for me? ❞ ❝ i know that you are smarter than this. ❞ ❝ well i’m the romantic type. ❞ ❝ you must be important. what’s the deal with you? ❞ ❝ to be honest, i don’t give two shits what you’re up to. ❞ ❝ ain’t a big fan of these odds. ❞ ❝ take a moment to catch your breath. ❞ ❝ it’s okay. it’s me. it’s me. it’s me. look. look…it’s me. ❞ ❝ you are making it very difficult to keep you alive. ❞ ❝ now don’t get upset. it’s not your fault. ❞ ❝ i’m scared of ending up alone. ❞ ❝ body’s not that old. keep your eyes and ears open. ❞ ❝ i believe that everything happens for a reason. ❞ ❝ you mumble in your sleep. ❞ ❝ we’re a team now. we’re gonna help each other out. ❞ ❝ you’re bleeding. ❞ ❝ guess what, we’re shitty people. it’s been that way for a long time. ❞ ❝ i’ve been quite honest with you. now i think it’s your turn. ❞ ❝ you handled yourself pretty nicely back there. ❞ ❝ get it together. we’re not alone. ❞ ❝ what are you scared of? ❞ ❝ now what? you gonna chop me up into tiny pieces? ❞ ❝ no, no…no such thing as luck. ❞ ❝ i understand it’s not easy to trust a stranger. ❞ ❝ there’s a place for you here, you know. ❞ ❝ this rain isn’t gonna do us any good. ❞ ❝ how was your morning? ❞ ❝ you really shouldn’t be out here all on your own. ❞ ❝ come on…you gotta get up. ❞ ❝ hands on your fucking head. ❞ ❝ you lay your hands on me again, it won’t end well for you. ❞ ❝ i’ve been on quite the adventure. ❞ ❝ i got nothing but nightmares from those years. ❞ ❝ i owe you a favor. is this some kind of joke? ❞ ❝ you wanted to be left alone, remember? ❞ ❝ let me look at you. you got fucking old. ❞ ❝ what are you still doing up? it’s late. ❞ ❝ that was plan a, b, c, all the way to fucking z. ❞ ❝ please not right now. i do not have the energy for this. ❞ ❝ whoever’s hurt, you clearly care about them. ❞ ❝ any sudden moves and i’ll put one right between your eyes. ❞ ❝ everyone i have cared for has either died or left me. ❞ ❝ look the other way. i’ll make this worth your while. ❞ ❝ when i give you the signal, we run. ❞ ❝ here, lean on me. ❞ ❝ did they say how many are dead? ❞ ❝ when i was a kid i wanted to be a…a singer. ❞ ❝ whatever favors you think i owe you, it isn’t worth that much. ❞ ❝ you can’t deny that view. ❞ ❝ what makes you think i’d do this for you? ❞ ❝ i am none of your goddamn business. ❞ ❝ thanks for your heroics and all. ❞ ❝ things happen…and we move on ❞ ❝ you do what i say when i say it. we clear? repeat it. ❞ ❝ we can just keep our histories to ourselves. ❞ ❝ come on. make this easy for me. ❞ ❝ it’s like we’re on a date. ❞ ❝ there’s enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation toward me. ❞ ❝ well is that everything you hoped for? ❞ ❝ yeah, they got a few good hits in but-look, i managed! ❞ ❝ i’d say we make a pretty good team. ❞ ❝ we’re gonna get out of this. i promise. ❞ ❝ couple days from now we’ll probably be dead anyway. ❞ ❝ stay down. don’t let them see you. ❞ ❝ has anyone come in here? ❞ ❝ i was thinking, after we get back, we could take it easy for a while. ❞ ❝ what do you know about us? about me? ❞ ❝ you haven’t seen what i’ve seen. ❞ ❝ i’m not…i’m not going anywhere. ❞ ❝ define okay. ❞ ❝ fun day at work, huh? ❞ ❝ no matter what, you keep finding something to fight for. ❞ ❝ here, i got you. give me your hand. ❞ ❝ other than shitty my pants…i’m fine. ❞ ❝ sorry for stealing your horse. ❞ ❝ it’s called luck, and it’s gonna run out. ❞ ❝ do i need to remind you what is out there? ❞ ❝ we are going our seperate ways. ❞ ❝ i was on my way here, and i got jumped by these two assholes, alright? ❞ ❝ whatever it is you heard, it isn’t true okay? ❞ ❝ your watch is broken. ❞ ❝ whole building feels like it’s going to fall apart. ❞

#( im doin it im doing drafts but i always collect more ) #⟨ MEME . ⟩

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ive had this url for at least a year and then last night at midnight i tripped onto a canon one and i hate that

#tbd