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Brother Gregor never spoke and often spooked the neophytes with his appearance, but he was a gentle soul and a phenomenal cook and knew more ways to prepare a fish than the abbot knew hymns

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i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

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good fucking Lord

the smallest size PO box in my area is $200 a fucking year! ($60/3mo, $100/6mo).

bro wtf???

#vent #um fucking hello i want to start an online shop with giving away my fucking home address #are you fucking joking???? #theres like 10 reachable post offices in my area and they're all that expensive #jesus christ youd think i was in a major fucking city #goddamn. okay gonna have to find a plan B #made for small business my fat ass

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Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

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I GOT THE JOB

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The Iranian Regime is going to execute rapper Toomaj Salehi for supporting protests of Jina Amini’s murder by the regime in his songs.

Iranian activist Elica Le Bon says, “Iranians in the diaspora picked up on the fact that the regime tends not to execute people who become known to the international community. We have seen many examples of prisoners that were either released on bail or had their sentences commuted through our “say their names to save their lives” campaign on social media, using hashtags to garner attention for their causes, and even before social media existed, through getting the stories of political prisoners to international media outlets. Once reported on, and once the eyes shift to the regime and the reality of its pending brutality, realizing that the action is not worth the repercussions, we have seen them back down and not execute. For that reason, this is part of an urgent campaign for readers to talk about Toomaj as much as you can, using the hashtag #FreeToomaj or #ToomajSalehi. Every comment makes a difference, and if we were wrong, what did we lose by trying?”

#toomaj salehi #free toomaj #serious stuff #current events

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😋

by: marsh

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You know what? Fuck it.

The amount of notes that this post gets by the end of April is the amount of words I'll write for one of my books.

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#*taps sign*

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we have a tie at the time of me scheduling this!

may as well tell you the names i ended up picking are Adam and Ezra for the cult leader and follower respectively!

as long as i can keep it under 4k, i think the shapeshifting cult leader story is going to be my first zine exclusive work. but now that i wanna sit down and work on it, as per usual, i'm going to put some of the things i'm on the fence with into a poll for y'all.

so first off, POV. the mc is going to be nonbinary. they're going to start out with a dick, but ultimately their agab isn't going to matter bc the cult leader is going to be constantly shifting around their sexual features to fit his fluctuating desires.

TBC with the Reader POVs:

Y/N will never have their name directly mentioned and will remain nameless for the reader to insert their own name with an ambiguous backstory.

a named reader is what it says on the tin. it'll still be reader POV, but you will have a set name and backstory.

for both the named reader and third person i'll set up a poll to decide on a final name (unless in my search for names one stands out). feel free to send in any suggestions!

all of the polls will be for just one day to keep my adhd interested and i'm going to be reblogging them throughout the day. so go ahead and block #fic polls if you don't want to see them repeatedly.

#fic polls

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Yeah so we're doing flesh yaoi again

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Im asleep next to you in my boxers and a crop top. You were up late working on a project when you finally crawled into bed to go to sleep. Just as youre about to settle in you hear me whimpering in my sleep. You lean in to hear and you hear me whimpering your name and squirming. You press two fingers to my boxers and feel how damp theyre getting, with a smirk you start to rub me through them. I squirm and whimper more. You pull my crop top up to expose my nipples and you start to tease one with your tongue as you continue to rub me. I gasp and moan in my sleep, completely unaware. Finally you cant take it anymore and you pull my boxers down, exposing my wet pussy. Your fingers slide easily into me and you finger me as you continue to tease my nipples. Tomorrow i'll have hickies all across my tits and no memory of where they came from. My hips are bucking and my moans are getting louder as you finger me harder. You take your fingers out of me and wipe my wetness on your cock before you slam into me. For a second it seems ive woken up as i moan loudly and jerk, but no. My limp body is so easy to fuck and eager to take you as fuck into me. It doesnt take long until you feel my pussy clench around you as i cum. Not long after you pump your cum deep into me, pushing it as far as you can into my willing pussy. Tomorrow i'll wake up with your cum in my boxers and no memories. You pull my boxers up and pull me close to you.

#somno #that's the good shit