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In these parts, they say, if you are lucky when wandering the wastes between city and town, you may encounter a truly exemplary creature. Its skin, like that of the rhinoceros, plates its body in geometric folds; its feet are like four enormous sand-dollars, pleasing to the eye and rapid in their movement. Its snout is broad with the same placid strength as a great ox and its breath is heavy and warm as the same, but its eyes flash so like those of a lion at night that no traveler could believe it truly tame for long. The name of this beast? Toyota Corolla.

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ok lets settle it. which laios is getting the best dick rn

#bwahahaha #this means it's objectively the right answer

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Petey, a pygmy owl, finally found his perfect glove! The glove is a falconry glove keychain. (Source: http://ift.tt/2t6fJRK)

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Here are some banners that you may use for your Witcher Monster MAYhem posts

Of course, you can alter them as you wish or create your own ones too! (Or don't use any at all.)

Looking very much forward to your monstery creations!

Only a few more days 👹 👹👹

(and still plenty of time to write/draw/edit something if you haven't yet 😉. All the prompts at one glance are here, have fun!)

And don't forget to post/add your work to the Ao3 collection. It will be revealed on May 1st.

#I wrote 2 fics for this btw #in case you thought I wasn't constantly writing something #sooo looking forward to see the other monster fics!!! #witcher monster mayhem 2024 #the witcher

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Then down came the paw, and that, love, was that.

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Emhyr var Emreis

His Imperial Magnificence

Shot by @alphagravy, edited in ps by me.

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The "Fandom hates women" response to lack of F/F is so baffling to me. I can understand the "Fandom hates lesbians" response. I don't agree, but I can at least see the thought process that got them there. "Fandom doesn't write lesbians therefore fandom must hate lesbians." It's a very simple and inaccurate conclusion, but you can at least see the steps the person took. But "fandom hates all women because only a small percentage of them write F/F"? I just don't understand how someone could come to that conclusion. Plenty of Fandom is writing women. M/F is popular, even on Ao3, and at least some of the Gen fic must include female characters. Same with the M/M... Do these female characters not count? Do people think that writing a male character alongside a female one is the equivalent of hating that female character? Or that thinking men are hot together is somehow sexist towards women? I understand being frustrated that your preference is not the majority... but "no F/F fic means that fandom hates women"? Nope. Can't wrap my head around it.

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It's a covert radfem thing involving a specific understanding of what it means to prioritize women.

#this puts it very well #all the different wtf angles of it

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Just checking.... We all pronounce Miette like My-TAY in our heads, right?

#so much jail for everyone :')

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Please it’s for science

#come on even if the snake mouth has as many bacteria as a dog's mouth (I think maybe not) it's with way less impact #and the snake wouldn't rip and tear a lump of your flesh out or break your bone #I'd trade a dog bite for several snake bites

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An older fanart of mine. Geralt and Ciri from The Witcher: Wild Hunt

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thousands of forgotten neolithic prophecies are probably being fulfilled all around us all the time and we don’t even know it

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okay everyone reblog and tell me your favorite perfume. but if your favorite is glossier you… don’t bother

#Azzaro pour homme #it's also Emhyr's #now you know :D

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Just a regular office day in Bregan D’aerthe 😗

#no wait let me reblog THIS :D

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Just a regular office day in Bregan D’aerthe 😗

#oh more Geralt/Iorveth :D

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Reblog for larger sample size. Feel free to indicate in the comments your generation, approximate region of residence, your length of experience with fan fiction, or when/where you first encountered these terms.

#it's the lime scale #of course it's a scale #stop making things up you toddlers :P

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Dettlaff, as a normal vampire, has a highly mobile psyche that, like any normal psyche, needs to be given a rest. However, Dettlaff is not an ordinary vampire in every way. He is, so to speak, in vampire terms, with some inborn peculiarities…. No, Geralt, we're not using the words you want to say, and I don't even mean them. His… emotionalism is not a whim, and it takes a tremendous amount of energy that must be restored somehow. And by food, as we discussed with you earlier, and by sleep. Dettlaff sleeps many times more often than the average vampire, but these sessions are unlike how the rest of us sleep, and don't take about 25 years. He sleeps after every emotional upheaval he needs to get through, so…. oh, don't grab your swords! You, Geralt, flinch too, when transitioning from one phase of sleep to another, it's just that Dettlaff makes it a little more noticeable. Believe me, it's not the least bit annoying. Oh, no, of course he won't wake up from that, he won't wake up from any stimuli at all… except when you, Geralt, were sharpening your blade, yes, yes, but I must admit that I too am unnerved by such sharp and high sounds. On the other hand, such deep vampire sleep has its advantages - even if I want to put Dettlaff in a saddle or load him into a cart, nothing will wake him up at all. No, he won't be sleeping until he's blue in the face; I'll just wake him up. It's your speech, it's like-- no offense, but it's like an annoying barking in my ear. We always hear vampiric tongue. Always.