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Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

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Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

#I'm so glad someone confirmed that No Most People Don't Just Know

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there's a kind of person called a "bad person" and if we just kill all of those guys everything will be great

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I thought I was late to my appointment at the ADHD clinic but the ADHD clinic knows their clients well and the appointment reminded me to be here at 1:30 when my appointment was actually at 2:00.

Me: oh good I'm actually on time! :)

Me, realizing why and being overcome by the mortifying ordeal of being known: >:/

#big struggle for me to reconcile that “the mortifying ordeal of being known” comes from a New York Times article and not a Jane Austen novel

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i want 60 thousand votes by next thursday

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If I walk into a Subway and ask them to make me a grilled cheese, do you think they’d do it?

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It really be like that though

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Also hey, cultural history time: The reason why cats are associated with women wasn't ultimately and originally about women as sly, cruel, or capricious creatures, but about cats as mothers to their kittens. And yes, sure, reducing womanhood to motherhood and a woman's worth to her fertility is Much Bad, but nonetheless I want to stress that the reason cats became the symbol animal of so many goddesses and were associated with women from thereon wasn't over some "cats and women are sly and selfish, dogs and men are straightforward and loyal uwu" dichtonomy.

It was about cats' tendency to go "I am 4kg of whoop-ass and if you try to touch my eight beautiful children I will fucking kill you."

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Okay look. Stephanie Meyer contributed four (4) cool things to the contemporary fantasy genre, which I shall now list here in the hopes of getting it out of my system. In descending order of importance:

1. Writing a story about a girl who wants something. Plot driven by a woman’s (non-vilified) desire. Truly dreadful execution but still a good idea, sort of a literary incarnation of the “he a little confused but he got the spirit” meme.

2. The fact that when Bella becomes a vampire she can still breathe but “there’s no relief tied to the action” which I remember verbatim because it fucking slapped. The idea of human physical sensations being partially defined by our mortality and the sensations still exist after you become undead but your experience of them is fundamentally different because you no longer need any of it? Extremely cool. The closest Meyer came to taking an interesting stance on vampires being dead.

3. Werewolves are immortal but they can literally stop whenever they want. That shit’s hilarious. Curse of immortality who.

4. The fact that vampires don’t sleep or get tired so their communally-raised baby doesn’t have a crib because she is always in someone’s arms. That was extremely cute and there’s a different, better book contained somewhere in that specific concept.

#in all honesty I don't care if someone likes Twilight it's fine #it's when they glorify and hold up the abusive relationship in it as an ideal #which I think a lot of teen girls did when it was popular #people can LIKE whatever they want #but liking something doesn't mean you can't recognize flaws and something harmful

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things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

#glad we all convened in the comments

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👀

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"Would you love me enough to be thousands of miles away, contentment in your grasp, and despite my no-strings-attached, choose me still?"

And the answer was no. Despite how I had hoped, that you truly did love me more than that