bigbadwolfgoblin

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

the 👏 best 👏 time 👏 to 👏 wear 👏 a 👏 striped 👏 sweater 👏 is 👏 all 👏 the 👏 time

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

The signs as cute Valentine’s Day ideas

Aries: Get dirty in the bedroom ;) rent a concrete truck, smash through the window while your partner is asleep, and pour concrete over your shared bed until your partner is cemented into the sheets. They’ll never want to leave the bed!

Taurus: Go for a pleasant walk in the park. Feed the birds! Smell the roses! Tell your partner how much you love them. (disclaimer: make sure you feed the birds a proper diet of rusty nails and human fingers, preferably freshly cut off of your partner’s hand. Also make sure the roses don’t bite your noses off when you sniff them. that would really kill the mood.)

Gemini: Get healthy together! Hire someone with a chainsaw to chase you through the forest, and run for your lives. As you run and hold hands, eventually you’ll have to let go of your partner and split up, forcing the chainsaw man to chase one of you down and murder you.

Cancer: Have a romantic candlelit dinner. Laugh together and hold hands as you listen to the screams of the people you’re eating.

Leo: Murder your partner’s parents and use their entrails for demonic sacrifice, as you usually would on Valentine’s Day.

Virgo: Cuddle by the fireplace. But make sure you feed the fire enough wood, or else it’ll get angry and consume you, your partner, and your house. The Fire Gods must be appeased.

Libra: Reenact the movie Saw, including all of the deaths.

Scorpio: Recite an ancient prophecy in a long-dead language. Your partner is the Chosen One. Accompany them on a journey that will change your lives, complete with a romantic subplot.

Sagittarius: Buy them chocolate, then tie them down to a chair and force-feed it to them. Every piece. As the chocolate gushes blood and tiny mouse bones, you’ll remember that your partner is allergic to chocolate.

Capricorn: Fill the bathtub for some steamy fun! Make sure the blood you fill it with is freshly boiled, or neither you or your partner will be able to get in the mood.

Aquarius: Create a giant maze with real horrors- actual murderers broken out of prison, toxic gas, pits of scorpions, and other romantic stuff- and go through with your partner. The fun is in the surprises at every corner!

Pisces: Go all Romeo and Juliet and pretend you’re dead. Your partner will be so devastated that they’ll hold a funeral and you’ll be buried alive. Your plan didn’t work, and now you’re in a casket under 6 feet of earth. Good luck.

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

rt

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

A smoldering bouquet of roses photographed by Ars Thanea 

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

*doing teacher evaluation* idk you but ive seen u around school and u seem chill hmu sometime rate: 9

[bigbadwolfgoblin]

can you hear how loudly im thinking of you

[bigbadwolfgoblin]