benedickcoomberbitch-blog

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Twenty One Pilots..... TØP.... TØP spells top, with a line through the O. ... Are they saying if your over twenty one to take off your top????

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Technically...

Technically can't you cook bread in a coffee pot? It would have the correct temperature if you keep it on long enough, it's got the correct form or general idea for humidity and just over all the correct condition for cooking bread, so could you cook it? When your done just throw the pot on the ground and eat your bread laced with glass shards.

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This One Time

This one time I was really tired and was running off of coffee with chocolate milk instead of normal milk and hadn't slept in three days because I was reading so much gay fanfiction and had newly became obsessed with Phantom of the Opera so I was watching it constantly and reading the books. To get to the point, I just randomly decided to go lay face down on the kitchen perfectly still, hands to my sides and stuff, and just hum. My dog walks in and sniffs my face and -from my delirious state- I pulled her on top of me after I rolled over and started hugging her really tight, like she couldn't get loose. I fell asleep somehow and woke up with the dog gone and a paper towel roll in its place, a note that said what I had done on it. But the coffee was really good. I ended up calling back asleep hugging the paper towel roll and when my mom came home she woke me up and made me go to my room, letting me take my new friend with me.

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Best Teacher Quotes I Heard This Year

“Have you ever gone down a slide the wrong way? Like on your stomach forward? … I have”

“I wanna hit you with this chair.”

“What if this is just a simulation? We have to break the barrier!”

“Cards are stupid, just make your own.”

(This teacher likes Rick and Morty and a few of the kids liked to try and be buddy buddy with him but always failed, the kids asked if they could get shwifty) “no” (“why not?”) Because you have to take off your pants and your panties"

“I used to be fit and healthy, the I ate too many little Debbie’s, now I’m fat. *Whispers* it was worth it though”

“Shoes are stupid, they just get crap stuck to the bottom of them.”

(He’s writing a book, and was reading us a piece of it, and trailed off explaining a bunch of magic science stuff, said something about how how what seemed like magic was just science. ) -i said “ you know, Thor said science is magic”- “You’re right. *Imitates throwing a cup at the ground* Another!

(I wrote a story for English and included the main character high on morphine in a hospital, she thought the leader of her group was a cow on a skateboard) "you have to include this cow on a skateboard on EVERYTHING you do for the rest of the year”

(Continuing from the last one, I did a project on philosophers throughout histories view on beauty, and I had to do an aesthetically pleasing cow on skateboard on Microsoft paint) -“did you like my cow on skateboard?”- “I did. I did. You did good, you earned that extra five points I gave you.” -“you gave me extra points?”- “no.”

“You can have that tiny bottle of maple syrup, I signed it for ya.”

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I Constantly Thank God For Esteban // Panic! At the Disco

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Reblog if you're bisexual, or if you support bisexuals, or if you want Queen Elizabeth II to outlive Donald Trump

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One day i just want to walk around in public with a trash can and just be like, 

*points at sky while looking lovingly at the trash can* “Hey honey look, isn’t the sky beautiful today?”