becomingforeverfamily

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Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year (aka Lunar New Year) takes place this year on February 16, 2018, the year of the dog. Like most of you, our family is most accustomed to ringing in the new year on January 1, but the Chinese New Year dates vary because of the lunar calendar. Chinese New Year is a celebration that traditionally last two weeks. It begins on the night of the first new moon of the year, which marks the beginning of spring. In many Asian countries, people sometimes travel long distances to visit family and friends. There are many rituals and superstitions that surround Chinese New Year. Today, many of those rituals and practices have changed or disappeared, but the underlying belief persists. So, both as Christians and parents of two Asian sons, how do we preserve their culture and heritage without embracing the beliefs?

This year, we will decorate our home with red lanterns and a beautiful Chinese tablecloth. Red and gold are the colors of the holiday and are believed to bring wealth and good luck. 

We plan to celebrate with a special meal that will include Chinese dumplings, noodles, rice and mandarin oranges. Noodles mean long life and dumplings bring in wealth and treasure. Oranges are associated with success. (This is really similar to our “good luck” traditional New Year’s Day meal that includes black-eyed peas, greens and cabbage.)

After reading together about the holiday through National Geographic Kids’ Celebrate Chinese New Year by Carolyn Otto, we plan to light sparklers and let floating light lanterns disappear into the night sky. Originally, the firecrackers were believed to frighten the Nian monster, but today it is simply a way to celebrate and light the way for the new year.

Each of our children will also receive a traditional red envelope with crisp new money inside. This is probably the most exciting part of the Chinese New Year celebration for the kids! This red envelope is the traditional gift given to children. Red symbolizes good luck and what child doesn’t want a gift of money? 

Because Chinese New Year is also often called “Spring Festival,” our primary focus will be on new beginnings and new life. We see Chinese New Year as a time of hope and promise. We will share with our boys the hope we have in Jesus Christ. 

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

As we talk about the superstition of sweeping the old year out of the house, we will share how Jesus cleans the sin from our hearts and replaces it with His Spirit. It is this “cleaning out” of our hearts that matters the most. It is THIS hope and promise that we will celebrate!

We want our boys to be proud of and celebrate their culture, but more than anything, we want them to personally know Jesus so that they will have the promise and hope for an eternal home.

Happy Chinese New Year!! 

[becomingforeverfamily]

Gotcha Day! (Forever Family Day)

January 24.... It’s “Gotcha Day!” It sounds like a fun, endearing term because it represents the day Miles and Miller officially became our sons. The day we “got ya.” And in our hearts, it is a monumental, life-changing day. It’s the day we had planned for and waited 19 months for. It is the day that God orchestrated all the pieces of the puzzle to put together a new, BIGGER family! And, oh, we are so grateful! We are thankful for these precious sons and the joy they bring to our family. I am thankful for the footballs, soccer balls, legos, remote control cars and even the dirty socks all over the house. Why? Because it screams LIFE! Joy in life for them and joy in life for us. This past year has been full of joy and struggles, but God has walked with us every step of the way. The boys have grown, changed, and bonded with us and for that we are blessed beyond words.

I have to wonder if “Gotcha Day” is a little different for Miles and Miller. Because even though they gained a forever family, they also lost all the familiar they had known. Maybe “Gotcha Day” is bittersweet for them. For one day a year ago, they walked away from their precious caregivers, their friends, and their culture. When I think of the term “gotcha” from their eyes, it doesn’t seem as endearing. 

Maybe a better term would be “Forever Family Day.” Today we will celebrate our new family of six and eat Chinese food to best celebrate the things that our boys love. We will pray for the boys left in the orphanage and talk about sending a special gift to them. Today is another day that we will talk about how God provided a way for us all to be adopted into His forever family- another day to talk about Jesus! For there is no greater way for us to show our boys how much we love them than by sharing Ephesians 1:4-5 with them. THAT is what we celebrate.

“Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.”

Needless to say, we are very much looking forward to our first celebration of “Forever Family Day.” We celebrate the joy of being a forever family while remembering the Lord’s faithfulness and provision of their first years of life. Oh, how we love our boys and are so thankful they are ours!! 

Miles (12) and Miller (8) // Stephanie Rhea Photography

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This is Forever

It is July 24th and I can’t believe that it has been six months since our adoption was final and these sweet boys became our sons! So much has happened in six months. Miles and Miller have grown in so many ways. Physically, they have literally grown inches in height and gained weight. They both are healthy eaters and our grocery bill has tripled. But what joy that brings to my heart. Emotionally they have become more secure in our family and are able to sleep upstairs without  being fearful. Miles still misses his Taiwan friends at times, but has made new friends here and enjoys being with them. He now also freely gives hugs to all of us! Miller is learning to control his emotions when he is angry or frustrated. He has a sweet, compassionate heart toward others. I am amazed at how well they have picked up the English language. Communication is so much easier and they are beginning to talk to each other in English! They ask questions constantly… a sign that they want to learn and understand. They are also learning that prayer is an important part of our lives and Miller melts our hearts when he wants to voice a prayer at mealtime or bedtime. How I know God must smile at the innocence of his precious prayer!

However, we do still have challenges. For example,  recently has Miller started asking, “When my going back home to Taiwan?” We try to explain to him that THIS is his forever home now, but he seems to doubt that truth. Just this weekend, his response when Kara told him this was his home now was, “You so funny, Kara.” The fact that he seems to not understand and doubt this as forever breaks my heart. It’s almost as if he can’t comprehend our love for him. It’s like he longs for the familiar and what he always knew as home. Not realizing that THIS home offers him an unconditional love that wasn’t possible in the familiar… a love that is secure and forever!

God has made me keenly aware of how much I am the same way. Even though God’s Word tells me that His love is unconditional and forever, I still at times doubt that truth. 

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.” -Jeremiah 31:3  

I become fearful that this “new life” is just temporary and God could never love me unconditionally. At some point, it will end and I’ll be back where I started.  Oh, how the enemy feeds us these lies! Just as we try to convince Miller that this is his forever home and he is so very loved, God speaks truth to my heart. “Child, I love you… no matter what… even when you doubt! Your doubts don’t change my love for you!” Even Thomas doubted. And, he was a very loyal follower of Christ. Maybe his doubts were not unbelief, but a desperate desire to fully believe. Author Angie Smith said it best, “I don’t question God because I want to prove He doesn’t exist. I question because I want to rest in unshakable faith.”

So, as we love on sweet Miller and teach him about our unconditional love, Jesus does that for me! And, one day, Miller and I will both rest in the precious love of our Father! Until then, I will continue to trust.

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The boys are HOME!

written by Kara:

I can’t believe it’s been four weeks since our parents came home with Miles and Miller. It’s been hectic, which is why we have not updated our blog until now. I’m excited for the opportunity to share with you how God has been moving and how you can be praying for our family.

Mom and Dad had a great trip to Taiwan. They had opportunities to share the gospel and our story of adoption with others. They were able to see God move in tangible ways. On one of the last few days they were in Taiwan, they had a final appointment with the American Institute in Taiwan (AIT) for a visa interview. If you read the last blog post, you’ll remember that the Lord worked a miracle to ensure that my parents could have their fingerprints updated in time for travel and this final meeting. (Scroll down to the last blog post entitled “Miracles and Fingerprints” to read more.)

However, the day before the this final meeting in Taiwan, they were told that the AIT had not received those fingerprints directly from the US. They were told beforehand that these copies had been sent, and Dad even showed the social workers the copies of the forms. However, the people in Taiwan needed files directly sent from the USCIS. Dad’s copies would not be sufficient. Plus the AIT office was preparing to close for Chinese New Year— meaning if they didn’t receive the fingerprints within 24 hours, our parents would have to wait over two weeks for another appointment. It also meant they would not be able bring the boys home. This naturally brought on a lot of stress for our family. What would we do if this happened? We honestly had no solution, so once again we had to trust that the Lord would provide.

Kyle and I shared the news with people who had been praying and following our updates, and we had (literally) over 100 believers back in the United States fasting and praying for a miracle. We anxiously awaited the verdict, trusting God to bring this work to completion. As a result of this “hiccup,” my dad was able to share with non-believing social workers about the power of Jesus and that God would work this out.

Around 7:00pm the next day (an hour before their appointment), Dad sent us the following text:

Satan lost and the body of Christ won the spiritual battle today. AIT says they received the appropriate paperwork and we are on our way to our Visa interview now! Please thank the body of believers for interceding on our behalf. Praise God and may He have all the glory!!!!!!!! “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10:4

All the paperwork was completed during the meeting, and they were ready to start their journey home. All four of them did well traveling and made it to Birmingham, Alabama, safely where Kyle and I met them in the airport. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to put that day in words. I was excited, anxious, overwhelmed, filled with joy, and freaking out all at once.

Mom, Dad, Miles, and Miller spent the night in a hotel in Birmingham, and on Friday all of us went to Tupelo. There we were welcomed with flags, posters, and a waving welcoming line of family, friends, and neighbors. Our street was packed with cars and families, ready to show us love by welcoming us home. A few minutes later, there we were. A family of six standing right out front of our home with followers of Jesus surrounding us. We bowed our heads as prayers were lifted up. I literally sobbed. The church is so beautiful and I thank God every day for the community and support he has placed in our lives during this season.

It’s now been four weeks, and the boys have adjusted remarkably well. The Lord has also granted our parents strength each day. Of course I can’t include it all, but I’ve written a few excerpts about each of us below. Hopefully this will serve as a general update and give you ideas of ways to pray:

Miles— He is so musical! Which makes my heart incredibly happy. He has enjoyed picking out tunes on the piano, listening to music ALL the time, and singing! He is definitely an athlete. Whatever kind of ball, he can dominate. He has made some friends in the neighborhood and started school this past week. He is such a sweet big brother. Although he loves to aggravate Miller, he cares so deeply for him and is helpful when needed. There are days that Miles misses his friends in Taiwan, but he truly loves having a “MaMa” and “PaPa” as well as older siblings.

Miller— He is a HOOT! He is silly and loves to play… all. day. long. He loves laughing and making others laugh. Miller will literally walk up to us at the most random points of the day and just wrap his arms around us. He loves to be hugged. He recently has began playing air guitar to every song that comes on the radio. He falls asleep each night repeating “I love you MaMa, I love you PaPa” and has such a compassionate heart. He has been a little hesitant about school but is beginning to warm up to his (amazing) teacher and friends in the classroom.

Tami— I have started referring to her as “MaMa” now, too. She is a rockstar. The Lord has given her an incredible amount of strength, patience, love, and grace in these past few weeks. Speaking from experience, she truly is an incredible mother. She is nourishing and caring, and has bonded more easily than expected with both boys. She has stayed busy each moment of the day, but life will slow down once the boys are even more adjusted. (At least that’s what I keep telling her. Shhhh, if you think differently don’t say it to her. Ha!)

Ronny— Also known as “PaPa”. He is the best. Also speaking from experience, Dad is the most loving, gentle, hilarious, and selfless father a child could ask for. After work each day, he plays with the boys. He is their “bike-buddy” and occasionally starts Nerf Gun games. The boys often fall asleep holding dad’s hand.. what a beautiful reminder of the Heavenly Father’s love for his children! Dad loves being their father, and he often “shows them off” to co-workers and friends.

Kyle and Kara— Kyle is studying in seminary and I am working in Birmingham. We plan to go home on the weekends as much as we are able, but we take full advantage of FaceTime while we are away. To be honest, both of us have felt some spiritual attacks and anxiety as we face a “new normal.” We are excited about what God is doing, but that does not mean it is easy. We are absolutely in LOVE with Miles and Miller and truly are thrilled to have them part of our family—forever!

We ask that you will remain in prayer for our family! I’ve included a few points below that can guide you. Church, we love you. We could not do this without you. Thank you for your amazing love and support.

Pray for Miles as he works through the grief of leaving his friends and culture in Taiwan.

Pray for Miller as he transitions to full days at school.

Pray for both boys as they continue to learn English and make friends. 

Pray for Mom and Dad to have wisdom in parenting on a day-to-day basis.

Pray that Mom and Dad are able to find moments each day to rest and be still with the Lord. 

Pray for Kyle and I as we transition in this season of change.  

[becomingforeverfamily]

Miracles and Fingerprints

Because Ronny’s fingerprints with USCIS expire on January 16, we were required to be reprinted in order to travel to Taiwan to get our boys. We received a biometrics appointment for January 6. Fearing that date was too close to our travel date (19th), we reached out to Trent Kelly’s office for help. After Congressman Kelly’s office spent two days talking with the Memphis and Washington offices, we were told that they would NOT move the date up. We MUST keep the January 6 appointment.

Fast forward to January 5th… SNOW is being predicted in Memphis for the 6th. We start praying and decide to go to Memphis the night before in case the roads are bad. On the morning of the 6th, we woke up to snow on the ground and roads and lots of school closings in the Memphis area. Feeling discouraged and pretty sure that USCIS would be closed, we got dressed. Because there is no number to call USCIS, we had to simply drive there. It took about 45 minutes to drive in the snow across town. When we arrived at 7:50am (appointment at 8:00am), the doors were locked and the office dark. We had LOTS of people praying!! At about 7:58am, a man came walking from the back of the parking lot. We did not see him arrive in a car, but thought maybe he got off the bus. (Although I didn’t see a bus) He walked up to another man who was sitting in a parked car. It was a security officer! Both men spoke to each other and then they unlocked the door and went into the office. Next thing we know, they flipped on the lights and opened the door for us and one other family waiting. We were SO surprised that they opened up. These two men are the ONLY people in the office… the security officer and the man who does the FINGERPRINTING!! WOW!!!

We go in and within 20 minutes, Ronny and I both have been fingerprinted and are finished. This sweet man was even very persistent to make sure all of our prints were good. (My fingerprints don’t seem to like the machines) We left PRAISING JESUS!!

Here’s where it gets crazy… After texting my friend Charmaine that “they were open and fingerprinting is done!”, she texted back and said, “WHAT??? They were open?” Apparently, at 7:45am, she pulled up the USCIS website and it said “CLOSED TODAY” in red letters. Wait… when was THAT decision made and WHY did they open? I have to believe that it was divine intervention. I believe that God sent that sweet man and security guard to work that morning. How he got there, I don’t know but I believe God’s hand was in it. Then to increase my faith even more, I received a text on the way home from my friend Sherri. It said, “God is good… all the time. Thank you Lord for answered prayers. I talked to Chelsi (who lives in Memphis) this morning and she said all government offices in Memphis were closed. Just started praying!”

We are so overwhelmed by our Great and Mighty God!! We are humbled that He has chosen us to walk this path! If God calls you to do something, don’t doubt, just step out in faith “and I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil. 1:6

God is still in the miracle business… we know… He worked one on our behalf!

The road on our way home!

At the prompting of Kara, we decided to celebrate by pulling over to take a selfie!

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Bringing the Boys Home

As is sit and ponder the past 19 months, I am reminded of the verse in Hebrews 6:15 that talks about God’s promise to Abraham. “And so it was that he (Abraham) having waited long and endured patiently, realized and obtained what God had promised him.” Abraham waited about 25 years for God’s promise of a child (Isaac) to be fulfilled. I can’t help but wonder if at times he asked, “Will God really come through?” If I’m honest, I have to tell you that as we have waited for our boys, I have asked that very question. Trusting God’s sovereignty has been one of the hardest lessons for me. But, last week, we received that long awaited email from Taiwan… "we would like to arrange pick up for Miles and Miller on January 23rd.” WE ARE BRINGING OUR BOYS HOME!!!!! That’s 6 weeks away.

Immediately my "momma mode" kicked in and I started the final preparations for our sons homecoming. I made appointments at their schools, with doctors, and with teachers. Our pastor and his wife have scheduled a prayer time with all of the people that will be working with them at church. I bought clothes for them to wear home and activities for the long plane ride. I’ve started reading those “final” adoption books and making final preparations in our home. What a beautiful gift we have been given this Christmas!

As I scurry around making these preparations, I am reminded of this verse in Romans 13:11-12. “Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is gone, the day is at hand. So then, let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.”

In this season of advent, just as the Israelites waited for their promised Messiah, we wait for the second coming of that king... Jesus! Scripture promises that. “This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.” (Acts 1:11)

And I wonder, how am I preparing for “that” coming? Am I daily casting off the works of darkness and putting on the armor of light? Am I living my life in light of the gospel? Do I love those that are placed in my path daily? Do I forgive and ask for forgiveness? Do I genuinely care whether or not that neighbor, friend, co-worker or even family member knows the Lord? Oh, how I want to be ready for that day when we will see him face to face.  And, just as we received our news about bringing our boys home somewhat unexpectedly, so will He (Jesus) return to take us home. I pray that during this advent season, we all spend time preparing for the coming of our eternal King.

Thank you for walking this journey in prayer with us. Hopefully, the next blog will include pictures of our son’s beautiful faces! Merry Christmas!

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Our Day in Court and God’s Grace...

So much has happened in a month’s time. On October 26, Ronny and I flew to Taiwan to see our boys and attend the first court hearing. We were able to spend two full days getting to know our sons and creating a bond with them. The reunion with Miles was sweet and Miller immediately connected with us. We were called “Ma Ma” and “Pa Pa” from the very beginning. We spent one day at the Taipei Children’s Amusement Park and one day at the Taipei Zoo in attempt to bond with our boys. During those two days, we learned a lot about our their personalities, what they like, and even their fears. The social workers also spent time preparing us (and the boys) for the court hearing that would take place towards the end of our trip. But, nothing could prepare us for the story that God was writing on our hearts and in our lives this week.

You see, we were prepared for a very strict judge and an incredibly intense court hearing. We were told that the birth mother had been summoned to appear as well - something that made us nervous and mostly concerned for our boys. Oh, but God had something so much bigger planned for us all! 

When we arrived at court on Monday morning, we were met by the birth mother and four of the boy’s biological siblings. After living in the orphanage for a few years, it truly was a reunion for Miles to see his brothers and sisters. Miller didn’t seem to remember his biological family, and clung to us as he was unsure about all of these “new” faces. After some time, he began to relax and get to know his siblings. The family was so gracious and thanked us for wanting to adopt the boys.

To attempt to share with you all of the emotions that we experienced that day is almost impossible, but let me try: 

We listened to the judge tell us over and over how hard adopting Miles and Miller was going to be and ask, “Do you still want to adopt them?”

We listened to the judge tell the boys how hard this would be for them and ask,”Do you want to be adopted by this family?”

We listened to the heart of a birth mother tell the judge that she was giving up her sons so they could have a better life than she was able to provide.

We watched sisters weep all through the proceedings.

We witnessed the “strict” judge show compassion and grace to all. 

We experienced a blending of two families- both stepping out in faith because of their love for two precious little boys. 

God wrote a story of grace that day. To be given the opportunity of looking a birth mother in the eyes and assuring her of our love for her sons and promising to give them every chance at life is a gift we will cherish forever! And to witness a birth mother’s selfless love to give up her sons in order for them to have a better life has changed us forever! 

Adoption is the gospel and we witnessed a beautiful picture of that. Isn’t that what adoption is all about? Love and Sacrifice? God loved us so much and was willing to sacrifice his Son so that we can have eternal life. Grace upon grace upon grace. And he asks us, “Do you want to be adopted?” 

As we stood before the judge in Taiwan, we all answered “YES!” A birth mother not able to take care of her boys allowing them to be adopted in order to give them a better life.. Two brave little boys willing to give up everything they’ve ever known to have hope for a future.. and a family willing to sacrifice life as we know it to offer love, hope and the gospel. 

I wonder what your answer would be when God asks that of your life?

Just before we left the orphanage, Miller asked, “What if you forget to come back to get us?” The fear of abandonment still rules in this child’s heart. To which we replied, “We will NEVER forget you and God willing, we will come back for you soon!”

I realized this week that many of my fears stem from the same thought.. ”God, will you forget to come get me one day?” and He replies, “Let not your heart be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And, if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. (John 14:1-3)

“I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you!” (John 14:18)

So now, we wait for the judge to tell us when we can go get our sons and bring them home. And, as we promised them, we will not leave them as orphans, we will come for them!

[becomingforeverfamily]

My Faith Shall be Sight...

“Y’all, it’s like Christmas morning! I can hardly wait!” Mom exclaimed as she sat on the living room couch waiting for the 10:00 hour to arrive. It was the moment we had been praying about for months - the hour when we finally got to tell my future brothers face-to-face, “We want to adopt you!”

For thirteen months, my family and I have been telling people the latest part of our story, namely that we are expanding through adoption. The paperwork involved is extensive, so we have been doing a lot of waiting and praying. The process has been a hopeful one but also a surreal one.

Well, last weekend, the day arrived: “SKYPE BROTHERS!” was what I named the event on my calendar. On Friday after class, Kara, her boyfriend Eli, and I traveled home from Birmingham to be present for the momentous phone call.

The weekend proceeded as one would expect—mom cooked, Kara slept, Eli and Dad watched football, and I studied. But beneath everything was an anticipation for the hour when the orphanage would sign into Skype and we would be able to see my little brothers.

When the time came, Mom and Dad were sitting at the computer, waiting for the “someone’s online” signal. Shortly after 10:00, the orphanage logged on and sent a message: “It will be a few minutes. The boys are coming.” And then, like Christmas morning, there they were: face to face with the boys that will, prayerfully soon, be part of our family.

I don’t really know how to describe the moment, but it was like it was meant to happen this way. The hour comprised joyful exchanges. Miles remembered his time here last year and got to see his friend Vic, who had come down for the occasion. We gave the boys a “home tour,” answered some of their questions, and let the younger one choose a name (Miller was the option he chose - these boys are definitely coming into a Southern family!). By the end, we were all a lot more comfortable with each other, smiling and laughing. We hung up, and I felt satisfied—“finally” we had been able to tell them. Now they knew that they have a forever family, and they even said they were excited to hear the news. God had been faithful to answer this prayer.

Since then, another routine week has passed. And to be honest, this whole situation is still kind of surreal. Last weekend was a reminder that God is over, through, and beyond the whole process. And it felt more real than it has yet. Nevertheless, we still wait, hope, and pray.

Though it is not a perfect parallel, this experience has looked a lot like faith as described in the Bible. Just like it did for the the Israelites in the Old Testament, faith requires us to have confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). We now know that Jesus has intersected history (“at just the right time,” Rom. 5:6) and has provided the way to God—the way that the patriarchs and prophets looked forward to. He was the fulfillment of hope and is the center of salvation history. Yet for people of faith, we are in the “already but not yet” of life: we know by faith that Jesus is the Way. But there is still more to come:

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:8

Christians are saved by grace through faith. But faith is not a “one and done” matter. We continue to become more like Christ until the day when He returns and completes the good work that he began.

Adoption has felt surreal at times, but days like last Saturday remind me of what is yet to come. I am hopeful and expectant for the day when we bring Miles and Miller home and begin the next process of living as an expanded family.

Similarly, the gospel is a reality that still seems surreal on many days; I cannot comprehend it all. When I sit and really think about it, though, I can take heart. I can have faith that one day, as the famous hymn It Is Well declares, “my faith shall be sight.”

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God’s Perfect Timing..

Adoption Update: We have a Skype date with our boys... September 24th!  FINALLY, we will get to look in their little eyes and say, “we love you and want to adopt you into our family!” To say that we are excited is quite an understatement. 

We have more news... the first court date in Taiwan is set for October 31. The judge wants us to be present, so yes, we are going to Taiwan!!! We will get to spend a couple of days getting to know our boys and building a bond with them before the court date. Oh, how we have longed to wrap our arms around our sons and look into their precious faces. We will not be returning with them on this trip, but hopefully, we will return to Taiwan in 2-3 months to bring them home.

Waiting has been a challenge and throughout the past year. We have had friends say to us, “It’s all in God’s timing.” It sounds and even feels so cliché until you realize it’s really true. Allow me to explain..

When we received the date to travel, I immediately called Ronny to tell him knowing that it was short notice to clear his work schedule. Moving a week of patients is no simple task. When I told him the dates we would need to be gone, he said, “I already held that week for vacation.” You see, we had planned to take a trip to Charleston in October, (I didn’t actually know which week) so the exact week of our travel date was already planned for! So, instead of Charleston, we will just go to Taiwan... God’s perfect timing!

We also knew that the orphanage was trying to set up a Skype date. When I asked our social worker if those were done on certain days, she told me that typically it was on a Tuesday or Thursday night. During the week was usually when the translators were available to help with the Skype. I was discouraged because I knew that Kyle and Kara would not be able to come home during the week. (They both live in Birmingham) We received the Skype date and guess what.. it’s on a Saturday night!! Kyle and Kara are coming home and get to see their little brothers face to face... God’s perfect timing!

Lastly, about a month ago, I felt God leading me to facilitate a Bible study/discipleship group for mom’s of pre-teen girls. I believed that God did not desire for me to “put life on hold” during this time of waiting. I was convicted that ministry does not stop just because we are waiting for the fruition of His calling. So, I took a step of faith and committed to move forward with this study When we received our travel date, I immediately thought about how this study group would be affected. I looked at the calendar and I realized that the last day of the study is October 21, the week before we leave! God’s perfect timing!

Isaiah 40:31 says, “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”  

These months of waiting have been hard, but through it God has taught me that waiting does not mean passively sitting around until the Lord does something. God gives us strength as we seek Him, and rely on Him. And then He renews that strength as we wait on Him. We “mount up with wings like eagles”  Meaning, God gives us strength to soar above the hard places, strength to move forward and progress for him (run and walk). Not strength to show off, but strength to go forward. By waiting, we allow ourselves to “soar” into heavenly places as we seek to know God more. then we set ourselves on the course to run the race. It is only then that we are in a good place to walk the walk.

Maybe you are in a time of transition... a time of waiting for God to do something. Remember that life and ministry do not stop because we are waiting. Ask God how you need to “run” in order to be strengthened for your journey’s walk!

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:23

[becomingforeverfamily]

It is Finished..

The paper work, that is. After almost a year of work completing forms, fingerprints, background checks, translations to Mandarin and to English, getting both governments to agree on our adoption and a lot of waiting, our dossier is finally finished!

What’s next? This small book of papers was sent to Taiwan today. When this good news gets there, the social workers at the orphanage will finally tell our boys that we want to adopt them (they still do not know). At that point we will get to Skype with them and begin preparing them for a forever family with us. Then comes a step of faith on their part. The boys will be taken to a judge in Taiwan and will have to tell the judge they want to be adopted. It may seem like a simple task but it can be a difficult decision for a 10 year old and a 7 year old. You see, most of their lives they have lived in an orphanage and that’s all they know. They have friends and care givers that will be hard to leave. Because orphans sometimes choose to stay in the orphanage, we ask you to pray for our boys as they face this decision very soon. If they say yes, we will begin the wait (potentially 4-6 months) for a court date and instructions for when we can travel to get them and bring them to their forever home.

I hope you can see this parallel to our spiritual lives. Over years of work, God came to earth in human form at the perfect time and lived the perfect life. He then made the perfect sacrifice on the cross as an atonement for all our sins. He gave us instructions on how to share this good news to the world. For many, that is the end of the story because they never take the next step of faith and accept what Christ has done on their behalf. They are like one of the first three soils mentioned in Jesus parable in Matthew 13 - they never really hear the good news, or they hear it with joy but never let it take root, or they allow the thorns of the world to choke them. Just like some orphans, many choose to hold onto the world that they know, to things that make them feel secure, and never accept the gift of an eternal home with Christ and a forever family with God as our father. But those of us who have allowed Jesus to take root in our lives (the fourth soil) and have taken the next step of faith, we are promised a forever home in heaven. (Phil.3:21)

On the cross Jesus declared, “It is finished.” You have heard the good news. What’s next for you? Will you choose to accept God’s gift of adoption into His forever home?

[becomingforeverfamily]

Blessings Bring Reassurance

We’re getting closer! We finally received the signed agreements from Taiwan!  They were all immediately sent for authentication and returned within days. Just this week, we filed the I600 with USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Service) and are waiting for the PAIR document. This is the last step before our dossier is sent to Taiwan! YAY! We are thankful for the progress and the many prayers.

God gave us one of the biggest blessings along the way. Last week, Ronny and I were privileged to keep two precious little girls for four nights while their parents were on a short “get away”. This was extra special because these two girls are ages 11 and 12 and just one year ago were adopted from Taiwan. Same place as our boys! Little did I know how God would use that experience to “put to rest” some questions and apprehension in my mind. Throughout the entire adoption process, many fears and questions have surfaced over and over.... 

Will we be able to adjust to parenting young children after years of empty nest and in our 50′s? 

How will we handle carpools, after school activities, homework, etc?

 What will it be like adopting “older” children?

Well, let me tell you... We had a blast with these sweet girls! We may be older, but that school routine is like riding a bike... it comes right back. Yes, we were tired by the end of the week, but it was a good kind of tired. Probably my biggest concern has been the age of the boys and how we will bond. I really believe that God gave us a small glimpse of what life will be like with our boys. Now, I know, boys are different.... more energy, less emotional, lots of testosterone, but hey, girls have estrogen! If you have a preteen girl, you understand. All joking aside, Ronny and I connected so well with Elise and Emma last week! They were gracious with us, allowing us to ask questions about how to help our boys adjust. We talked about life, friends, God and even answered questions about birthing babies. (Sorry, Steve and Charmaine.. that’s what happens when you leave your kids with an OB-GYN!) The girls were so sweet to help Ronny with his Mandarin (only laughed a little) and taught us about Taiwan food preferences. Most importantly, they taught us about how to appreciate the simple things in life. Eating ice from the ice machine and playing hide and seek were the choice activities for the week.

I am so grateful to the Lord for the reassurance that He gave us about what is ahead. I once again realize that in our weakness, HE is strong! He has called us to this journey and He will walk beside us every step of the way. The words of this song by Amanda Cook, Bethel Music speak truth to my heart!

You make me brave! You make me brave! You call me out beyond the shore into the waves.... You make me brave! You make me brave! No fear can hinder now the promises you made....

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” Joshua 1:9

We ARE strong and brave because God is with us! We are so excited about the days ahead!

Celebrating at Elise’s first Strings Concert!  Precious girls!

[becomingforeverfamily]

Hurry Up and Wait

“With the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” (2 Peter 3:8)  These are words that Peter wrote to the Jewish Christians in anticipation of God’s return.  He urged them to persevere in truth as they waited.

Almost every day someone asks us, “When will you get your boys?” The short answer: “We have NO idea!” We sent our signed agreements almost five months ago and have been waiting for their return with signatures of the orphanage and the Taiwan court.  So then what? Glad you asked... Once received, we will send those documents to be authenticated with TECO (Taipei Economic and Cultural Office) and we will receive our PAIR document. This is a document that pairs us specifically with our boys, by name. Then, all of those documents go in our dossier (a file of legal adoption documents) and back to Taiwan. And... we WAIT for a travel date!

The hardest part of these months of waiting is not knowing what is happening on the other side of the world. Do the boys know anything of us or do they feel a sense of hopelessness about having a forever family? What do they think about as they fall asleep at night? Are they teased at school about not having a family like the other kids? Does our little fella that we hosted think about us and wonder why we haven’t come for him? (We think of him EVERY day) Both of our boys have celebrated birthdays (7 & 10) and we longed to celebrate with them. Do they feel forgotten? unwanted? unloved? These days of waiting are long...sometimes lonely...sometimes sad. But, in the deepest reserves of our hearts, we know God is in control! Our long days are short to Him and He knows the perfect timing for our family and for our boys.

Just as the Christians of old persevered in truth as they waited, so will we! Yes, some days will be harder than others, but we know that God is working all things together for good because we love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Rom. 8:28)

So, if you have taken the time to read this blog to the end, thank you! Thank you for allowing this momma to share her heart. And, we ask for your prayers. Prayers for patience...Prayers for peace of mind...Prayers for our boys...Prayers for progress and yet, the confidence to trust that God’s timing is perfect! Thank you for walking this journey with us.

This plaque sits beside my “prayer chair” as a sweet reminder.....

These boys have a special room waiting for them. The Taiwan flag serves as a reminder of their cultural heritage.

Looking forward to bedtime stories.  These are books that Kyle and Kara loved as children.

[becomingforeverfamily]

TRUST and WAIT

Webster defines anticipation as “expectation or hope.” On the brink of this new year, my thoughts turn to the anticipation of life in 2016. 

There will be many changes for us individually and as a family with the arrival of our boys. So many questions.. so many emotions... so much waiting! And with all these things comes TRUST. 

Trust that God will prepare me and my family for “a new normal.” Trust that we will remain healthy. Trust that His timing is perfect. Trust that our boys are being well cared for as we wait. Trust that our boys will attach and bond easily to us. Trust that our boys will make friends and transition to American life. Trust that God is drawing our boys hearts to Him even now. Trust that Kyle and Kara will adore their new role as “biggest” brother and big sister. Trust that our boys will learn the English language easily. Trust that we can learn some Mandarin (Lord, help us.) Trust that God will use us to draw others to Him and the gospel of adoption. Trust that at the end of life’s journey, God will say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”

What is it that you are anticipating in 2016? What is it you are hoping for? Does it involve waiting? Does it involve trusting? Trusting that God has a plan for your life and your family? Trusting God’s grace to forgive your past and redeem your future? Trusting that God will use you and your family to display the gospel?

The words from a favorite devotional say it best:

“Human beings have a deep desire to know and understand. Rest is never found in the quest to understand it all. Rest is found in trusting the One who understands it all and rules it all for His glory and good. In moments when you wish you knew what you can’t know, there is rest to be found. There is One who knows. He loves you and rules what you don’t understand with your good in mind.” (Paul David Tripp)

So, let us not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. For God is doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you TRUST it? 

(Isaiah 43:18-19 paraphrased)

We covet your prayers as we trust and wait.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_aVFVveJNs

[becomingforeverfamily]

We are Approved!!

Since our biometrics appointment, much has happened! We received questions from the orphanage that ranged from specifics on parenting style to discipline and education. We sent several pages of answers back and waited. At the same time, I received a letter from Homeland Security that my fingerprints we not readable. WHAT!? So, at another appointed time, I went to Memphis to have my biometrics done AGAIN! And we waited..

Finally, on October 28, we received a call from our social worker that the orphanage was ready to sign the agreement. 

“So, does that mean they approve us?” 

YES was the answer!! One down, one to go. We had approval from the orphanage, but still needed approval from Homeland Security. A little over two weeks later the letter finally came - “You have been approved to adopt two children from Taiwan.”  

We have been checked, re-checked, questioned and on an emotional roller coaster for about four months just to hear those long awaited words.. You are approved! We have worked hard to win the approval of those in charge of this adoption process, but it has stirred my heart and thoughts. 

It makes me realize that God is the one who has done the work for OUR adoption into His family, the kingdom of heaven!  We could never satisfy the requirements of our eternal adoption on our own, but God sent His son Jesus, who met every requirement for our adoption. He was fully divine, fully human and fully righteous! Because of that and his death on the cross, we are fully justified before the Father and can be adopted as His children. 

We are thankful and we wait for the day when we live with Him forever in our new home in heaven.

[becomingforeverfamily]

He Directs the Details

Update: We have been in a ‘waiting’ period as far as the adoption of our boys go. Our home study has been translated into Chinese and is in the hands of the orphanage. So we wait for pre-approval. We have also applied for our advanced processing of orphan petition through U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services.

Psalm 37:23 says, “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way.”

Do you believe that? I mean REALLY believe that truth? I believe that when we are following the will of the Father, He cares about and directs every detail of the plan! Here’s how God proved that to me.

We have been waiting for our biometrics appointment from Homeland Security in Memphis. We were told that this appointment is very important. We cannot choose our appointment day or time and if we miss it, our orphan petition will be considered ‘abandoned.’ For a planner personality like me, this is un-nerving!! Naturally, questions flooded my mind.. “What will we do if Ronny is on call that day?” My mom just broke her hip and I worried about being in Gulfport with her. Of course I said, “Lord I trust you,” but the human side of me still worried. I wanted to believe that I trusted God to take care of the details, but honestly, my mind would not let it go!

So, this past Friday, I opened the mail and there it was... the all important appointment. “Please appear at the below application support center at the date and time specified..” I quickly looked at the calendar and my heart sank - Ronny is on call that day! Typically, that means he has surgery scheduled and babies to deliver. What now? I texted Ronny to tell him we had been assigned an appointment and said, “You're on call that day. Think you can work it out?”  Sometime later, I received this response from him..  “The Lord already worked out the biometrics - one of my partners asked to switch a call for THAT day a few days ago, I am not on call that day!  And, if that wasn't enough, the one baby scheduled to deliver on that day, made his entrance into the world a week early! 

Of course the Lord already worked it out! He said He would direct our steps, and that He would go before us and be with us and never leave us! Once again, I had to ask for forgiveness for doubting and thank Him for his provision and grace. It was God, our Father, who placed us on this journey to adopt these two precious boys and He will certainly see it through to completion! I am thankful today for a God who knows how many hairs are on my head and cares about every detail of bringing our boys home and becoming a forever family.

[becomingforeverfamily]

Obedience Is It’s Own Reward

Fear and obedience... one can affect the other.  This is the place that God has allowed me to go lately. You see, just recently the Lord has called home to heaven some friends about my age. It has made me contemplate a lot of “what if’s”..... "What if something were to happen to Ronny or me after we bring our boys home? What would I do? How would I make it emotionally, physically, etc etc etc.... How would I handle life?” Fear of the what if’s is a downward spiral and reveals a lack of trust. It is certainly NOT from God! John 10:10 says, “the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Fear is a footprint of the enemy.  

As I have struggled through these questions, emotions and crazy thoughts, God has spoken deeply to my heart! These are a few of the words he has spoken through His word: 

Tami, I gave you a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control. 2 Tim. 1:17

“I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.”  Isaiah 49:16 a

“When you are afraid, put your trust in me.” Psalm 56:3

So, in the deepest part of my soul, it comes down to one question: “Do you believe that God is a giver or a taker?” It has been a heart-wrenching battle, but these two things I know for sure:

1. God has called us to adopt these two precious boys!

2. Obedience is a weapon for fear!

Because we are sinful by nature and susceptible to satan’s attacks, it is a miracle of amazing grace that any of us chooses to obey God. Paul David Tripp writes, “Any time we desire, in word, thought, or action, to do what pleases God, we are being rescued, transformed and empowered by his grace. Your obedience celebrates grace even in moments you aren’t consciously celebrating it yourself.”

So, even when the fear sneaks in, I will obey! Because God has called us to make a difference and to glorify Him in all that we do and because there are two little boys on the other side of the world waiting.... we will obey!! I know that whatever happens in the near or distant future, God is sovereign and in complete control. I can trust him! Because obedience is it’s own reward.

[becomingforeverfamily]

We Are Adopting!!

It was the Monday after Easter, April 6, 2015, and God was stirring in my heart.  As I sat in my favorite chair reading God’s Word, my heart was longing for something. These are the words I wrote in my journal that day as a prayer to my Father in heaven. 

“Sometimes I wonder if there is something more in this life that you have called me to.... Do we need to downsize, or take people in, or go to another country? In so many ways, I have gotten too comfortable in this life --- finding satisfaction in things and a comfortable lifestyle.  Lord, I want my life to count for you and I want to make a difference..... Please show me how!!!” 

Two days later, Ronny and I took a day trip to the Mississippi Delta. Driving through miles of farmland provides lots of time for conversation.  We had begun leading a new study with our Sunday School class using Lisa & Francis Chan’s book, You and Me Forever. As we discussed what the next 15 years would hold, the subject of adoption came up. Our words that day were, “We need to be open to whatever God has for us in this next stage of life and marriage.” Little did we know that two weeks later, God would turn our world upside down. We received a “random” phone call from a local adoption agency asking if we would host an orphan from Taiwan for two weeks this summer. We did host him and we are now in the process of bringing him and his little brother to be part of our forever family.  

We are adopting!!  

Adoption is a beautiful picture of the gospel.  

Galatians 4:4-5 says, “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.”

Ephesians 1:4-6, “even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.”

The idea that God chose me (and you) to be a part of his forever family and then provided the way (Jesus, his only Son), for that adoption to happen is beyond my human comprehension. I am grateful, I am humbled, I am forgiven... I AM ADOPTED!!!!! Because of that, why would I not be obedient to God’s call?

 “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to take care of orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27

“So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” James 4:17

This is our story of God’s call..... what’s yours?